Jf Thunder
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you do realize that religios discussion are not allowed, but I will answer that.“…And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise." [Quran 2: 228]
“Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth…” [Quran 4:34]
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses for no reason and he spends the night angry with her, then the angels will curse her until the morning.”
Source: Sahih Bukhari 3065, Sahih Muslim 1436, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)
Ibn Maajah (1853) and al-Bayhaqi (14711) narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn Abi Awfa said: When Mu‘aadh ibn Jabal came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), who said, “What is this, O Mu‘aadh?” He said, I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.
NO its not rape because it was done within the confines of marriage in which both party consent to physical intimacy.
And in many countries and cultures it is not wrong neither morally nor legally.
you did not quote the entire ayat from Surah Baqarah, and it is related to the divorce rights, and not authority or anything, any sense of patriarchy given in that Surah is equated here
"And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the verses of Allah in jest. And remember the favor of Allah upon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book and wisdom by which He instructs you. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Knowing of all things.
as for the second ayat you have quoted, most ulemas misquote it to suit their interests, the actual translation shall be
"Men have a degree of responsibility over women"
the above condition hold if and only if the man spends from his wealth for his wife, however if he refuses to spend on her, then he looses this right of responsibility.
here responsibility is not authority, but an extra burden placed upon the man.
going towards the Hadith, when one thing has been made clear in the Quran, why do you go towards the hadith, even Sahih Hadith have a really high probability of being fabricated, so I shall not answer or explain those Hadith