In ASEAN, you have no friends. Countries may be neutral to you, but none are over bearingly positive to you. But you do have big enemies.
Also, almost all major ASEAN countries reject, especially surrounding the SCS, don't like your reclamation activities. One has also to see his neighborhood. Also, the Americans are so good at PR/Propaganda, that they can immediately turn a lot of perception. Don't underestimate America.
It is a comprehensive power. Economically, Militarily, Politically, Diplomatically, Technologically, and Culturally.
There is a reason that US has so many allies, mutual defense treaties, and to top that, the quality of those countries is very high. Not like North Korea.