Egypt Orders Spy Satellite from Russia

[Liquidmetal]

Who are you gonna spy on? Morsi? Islamic Brotherhood? your own people? It won't be Israel then whom?

 

[Frogman]

Who are you gonna spy on? Morsi? Islamic Brotherhood? your own people? It won't be Israel then whom?

You!

We want to know how many times you masturbate per week. As we are currently surveying the average time spent by British Pakistani citizens masturbating. Could you be a gem and give us a rough figure?

The medium to which you masturbate too would also be of help. By medium we mean whether you use video, magazine or text resources or do you simply you use your imagination?

The type of lubrication you use is also being surveyed. Do you use petroleum jelly or are you in favour of going it dry?

This will all help us in gathering adequate information on the masturbatory behavior of British Pakistanis. Furthermore, if you provide us with all the information we need we will have no reason to allocate resources in order to find these things out (our existing satellites are already being used to spy on Angela Merkel's phone).

Yours sincerely

The Egyptian Armed Forces (Military Intelligence)

P.S

Happy new year!