Divorces on rise among educated couples in Bangladesh: Official data (1 divorce / hour in Dhaka)

[DarkPrince]

These GF's were not married brother. We have to change our mindset from fifty years ago...

A lot of educated women in B'desh have already made the change.

Men (even educated men) in Bangladesh wants to hang on to the former status quo (established and aloof daddy and husband in name only) without emotionally committing 110% on the woman.

Women are demanding (and will get) far more from relationships - establishing 'Allah'r ain' in Bangladesh may be limited to lower middle and lower uneducated class only, and that too will fast fade away in the age of the Internet.

I'd advise Bangladeshi men to place their ears close to the ground and LISTEN. Listen to the millions of women in Bangladesh and their unspoken voices. Change is in the air.

Even hijabi women will demand better from their husbands. Things will change.

What makes you think i don't? Just because you did it doesnt mean its Jayez. I said either become proper Muslim or leave it. Most Bangladesis are top class Munafiqs anyway. I believe in genuine gender equality. I think parents property should be distributed equally between brothers and sisters. These are the real problems not how many gfs you are having.

 

[Alpha BeeTee]

Let me put it simply without sugar coating.

This is the new order in the world. For centuries, the bond of marriage has worked because of mutual interdependence between men and women. Man needed the woman to have sexual relationship, a home maker and one who would raise his next generation. The woman was happy to do that. Woman needed a bread winner and a protector and man found pride in playing that role.

Now, we live in the 'modern' era. Woman can earn herself. Man can have sex outside marriage. Interdependence broken. Family structure broken. Fabric of society shattered. Zina and fornication made normal and cherished. Single parents common. Kids without father figure common. Broken homes. Rape common. All are liberated and living happily ever after.

This is as simple as I put it.

 

[Clutch]

It is effect of growing economy.

Japan? Korea? Etc.


It's the effect of a westernizing society.

 

[Bilal9]

What makes you think i don't? Just because you did it doesnt mean its Jayez. I said either become proper Muslim or leave it. Most Bangladesis are top class Munafiqs anyway. I believe in genuine gender equality. I think parents property should be distributed equally between brothers and sisters. These are the real problems not how many gfs you are having.

This thread is about divorce, not religious debate.

I will say this though - whether and how I follow Islam is my choice, you have no say so in it. No one gave you that right. Stop deciding (for me) what is Jayez and Najayez. I am an adult, I can decide for myself.

If I have respect for your lifestyle then you should respect mine too and be civil about it.

Religious fascism has no place in this forum. Find another forum if you feel that way.

@Homo Sapiens...

 

[24 Hours]

Understanding the rise in divorce in Bangladesh

Nahela Nowshin

A divorce takes place every hour in Dhaka. This was one of the startling findings in an exclusive report published by Prothom Alo recently. The report states that in the last seven years, the divorce rate application has increased by a massive 34 percent throughout the country according to data compiled by the Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics (BBS). “At least 50,000 divorce applications were filed in Dhaka North and South City Corporations in the past six years, which means on average one divorce application was filed every hour,” the report reads. In Chittagong City Corporation, already 2,532 applications have been filed during January-July of this year.

For the inquisitive mind, these findings could provide for a very interesting case study. Does this trend signal that a major societal change is under way? Is it a manifestation of attitudinal or behavioural changes towards marriage? If so, does this shift in attitude have a relationship with something much bigger? Could the changing socioeconomic structure of Bangladeshi society have a role in all this?

The answer to the first two questions will vary depending on who you ask. I have come across some who see it as an indicator of female empowerment. Then there are those who believe that this trend demonstrates the eroding sanctity of the institution of marriage as a whole (which, I believe, could be true to an extent but it's harder to “prove” this claim).

Going back to BBS' findings, in Chittagong City Corporation and the two city corporations of Dhaka, the majority of applications being filed were by women. While the most common reason for divorce has been found to be marital conflict, what's more intriguing are the differences in reasons cited by men and women for seeking a divorce. For women, the most common reasons were their husband's suspicious nature, extramarital relations, dowry, husband never returning home after going overseas, drug addiction, Facebook addiction, impotence, and personality clash, among others. On the other hand, the most common reasons cited by men were wives not leading lives according to Islamic rules, bad temper, indifference towards the family, disobeying their husband and infertility.

A cursory glance at the most common reasons cited by women lends some legitimacy to the claim that the rising trend of divorce, as more and more women are initiating divorce and seeking a way out of their marriage, is an indicator of empowerment. Today, women are less willing to remain in an unhappy marriage where the husband is constantly suspicious of the wife, is having an affair, or is physically torturing or mentally abusing the wife for dowry.

The taboos against divorce are still intact in many parts of the country, particularly in rural areas, where a divorced woman is associated with disgrace and shame. But it could be argued that the prejudices attached to divorcees are withering away, albeit gradually, in places like Dhaka where modernisation is giving way to people shedding their conservative attitudes. This shift in attitudes is likely part of a broader societal change brought about by an increased number of women attaining higher education and their absorption into the labour force. As a woman's decision-making role in the private sphere has begun to be recognised, so too has her right to end a marriage. The combination of a growing societal acceptance of divorce and women's realisation of their own rights has a big role to play.

Women's economic independence stands as one of the most crucial factors—not just in Bangladesh but around the world where we see similar trends in divorce. Women's participation rate in the labour force in Bangladesh has increased by eight times in the last four decades—from four percent in 1974 to 35.6 percent in 2016. It is true that much of Bangladeshi women's increased freedom in their personal lives today has to do with their financial independence: less dependence on the spouse for money means there's less of a need to remain tied to an abusive marriage.

In a paper titled “The Connection between the Family Cycle and Divorce Rates: An Analysis Based on European Data” published in 1974, the author looks at how industrialisation, urbanisation and rise in educational levels affect phases of the family cycle. The findings of the study, gleaned from data of European countries, hold a lot of relevance for industrialising countries even today where family cycles and roles of men and women are undergoing transformation. One of the findings is related to women's increased participation in the labour force which, as the author interestingly and astutely puts it, is due to the “professionalisation” of many tasks leading to a “separation of the private and the occupational spheres…Through more and more tasks being taken away from the family and professionalised, the area of women's tasks within the family has become considerably restricted. It thus becomes possible that the woman, deprived of her formerly abundant tasks, leaves the intrafamily sphere and goes out to work.” Women's absorption into the labour force combined with a rise in life expectancy and decrease in the number of children was found to have a positive relationship with divorce rates.

However, a word of caution is necessary—and let's not jump to generalised conclusions. The above BBS data—which gives us a glimpse into marriage and divorce scenarios in urban and rural areas—does not give nearly enough information needed to analyse, for example, region-wise trends: what proportion of divorces taking place in urban and rural areas are due to marital conflict, torture, etc. Could it be that more urban women are filing for divorce on grounds of marital conflict while in far-flung rural areas more women are divorcing their husband alleging torture or physical violence or due to abandonment by their husband? An analysis that looks at the socioeconomic status and the reasons for divorce of individual couples could shed much light on the contrasting views men and women from different strata of society have on divorce. Given the frequency with which we are bombarded by headlines of women being tortured or killed for dowry—violence against women being so deeply embedded in society—especially in rural pockets of the country, we would perhaps be surprised to find the number of women filing for divorce on grounds of physical violence despite being financially dependent on their spouse.

Furthermore, the prevalence of child marriage in Bangladesh presents an unfortunate paradox: on one hand, girls as young as 15 (and even younger) are being forced into marriage while, on the other, more women are seemingly choosing to leave their marriage of their own volition. Just a thought: could there be women filing for divorce (included in BBS' statistics) who were victims of child marriage? In that case, isn't it true that divorce, for a woman who was coerced into marriage at an early age, represents a symbol of liberation as she is the one who took the decision to leave the marriage?

The way we look at and talk about divorce should be nuanced. True, age-old notions about divorce are slowly being shed. And women's higher decision-making power derived from their economic freedom is a major reason. But let's also start talking about the ways in which divorce can be prevented. A rising trend in divorce also means that there are increasing disruptions in familial harmony— a painful experience and a source of severe trauma for children that can have lifelong effects. Existing awareness campaigns such as those against violence against women and dowry—two big reasons behind women seeking a divorce in Bangladesh—could take on these findings to drive home their message. Extensive research that takes into account the social complexities of Bangladesh and resulting disaggregated data could also prove to be very useful in understanding the deeper causes behind the rise in divorce and the ways to prevent it.

 

[DarkPrince]

This thread is about divorce, not religious debate.

I will say this though - whether and how I follow Islam is my choice, you have no say so in it. No one gave you that right. Stop deciding (for me) what is Jayez and Najayez. I am an adult, I can decide for myself.

If I have respect for your lifestyle then you should respect mine too and be civil about it.

Religious fascism has no place in this forum. Find another forum if you feel that way.

Whats wrong with what i said? I said the reason why divorce rate is rising. Nothing wrong with that. Marriage is a outdated concept anyway. I know you are a hardcore Pakistani supporter in this forum and India hater. its ironic you talk about liberalism. Jayez najayez are Islamic words so i can say that. Now you are a practicing Muslim or not thats very much up to you.

 

[Neptune_]

It's not surprising at all. In the past women had no economic freedom and throughout their lives they had to depend on others. Before marriage they used to depend on their fathers and after marriage on husbands.

That's why women in the past had to live with their husband throughout their life even if she was abused by her husband on a regular basis because she had nowhere else to go. But now they r economically independent and far more knowledgeable about their right. No wonder divorce rate is high among educated couples.

 

[DarkPrince]

It's not surprising at all. In the past women had no economic freedom and throughout their lives they had to depend on others. Before marriage they used to depend on their fathers and after marriage on husbands.

That's why women in the past had to live with their husband throughout their life even if she was abused by her husband on a regular basis because she had nowhere else to go. But now they r economically independent and far more knowledgeable about their right. No wonder divorce rate is high among educated couples.

Well said.

It's not surprising at all. In the past women had no economic freedom and throughout their lives they had to depend on others. Before marriage they used to depend on their fathers and after marriage on husbands.

That's why women in the past had to live with their husband throughout their life even if she was abused by her husband on a regular basis because she had nowhere else to go. But now they r economically independent and far more knowledgeable about their right. No wonder divorce rate is high among educated couples.

Another thing is a lot of BD males are hypocrites. they can live like a casanova but they want a obidient wife.

 

[EasyNow]

This is not exactly a new phenomena - it just has the label 'divorce' now. In the past men just got themselves a new wife, raised an extra family - sometimes abandoning the first one. Every village had at least 2 men with step wives in the olden days.

Nowadays there are more divorces but there are less multiple wife families.

And it's on the rise all over the world not just BD.

 

[bdslph]

bengali girls, rarely are good looking if any... plus the attitude of being the most beautiful women on earth puts me off them.... i like humble, down to earth girls... hence so far only clicked with two girls in my life.... rest all have been fwb

i agree with u , and also a girl who understand my husband is not rich but a very good man he cannot provide me any thing but he can provide honesty good respect me will not beat me up etc...

in bd now is more on the look of the guy money properties etc....

try to marry a muslim women who is reveret also u will see u life will be different there is not wrong with it

BUT WE LOVE TO MIX HALAL WITH HARAM ALL OF US BECAUSE HARAM FEELS SO HALAL AND FEELS SO GOOD

in our culture and tradition we want to tie down the kids whatever we like them to marry. some dont last as our ego also ............. what is wrong if someone marry indian pakistani European or american african latin america
what we should say are happy and we should pray for happiness give them blessing

 

[Crixus]

Now smell coffee.... south Asian females are same irrespective of location and you are in danger. Imran Bhai

wow i cant even think my wife will kill me

 

[Michael Corleone]

i agree with u , and also a girl who understand my husband is not rich but a very good man he cannot provide me any thing but he can provide honesty good respect me will not beat me up etc...

in bd now is more on the look of the guy money properties etc....

try to marry a muslim women who is reveret also u will see u life will be different there is not wrong with it

BUT WE LOVE TO MIX HALAL WITH HARAM ALL OF US BECAUSE HARAM FEELS SO HALAL AND FEELS SO GOOD

in our culture and tradition we want to tie down the kids whatever we like them to marry. some dont last as our ego also ............. what is wrong if someone marry indian pakistani European or american african latin america
what we should say are happy and we should pray for happiness give them blessing

Exactly my thoughts... let’s see how far my mom will go to push me to marry a bengali