Despite living outside of Pakistan for half of my life, I'm a pretty 'traditional' guy. Which means, marrying a Pakistani girl, no dating before that. Being financially 'adequate' before marrying the girl, living a 'safe, secure' life. That's what I've been taught. But I get conflicted sometimes. I'm the complete opposite of someone who wants a 'safe, secure' life. I want to do things that make me happy. But I don't want to be with an American chick either. I see myself wanting to be with a Pakistani girl in my future. Someone who's cool, who's "self-sustaining", independent, who's cool with me doing my own thing, who doesn't compare herself or 'us' with other individuals or couples in the society (as long as we're happy), who's ready to 'sail ship with me'. And these are things that are hard to find in Pakistani girls. They aren't as emotionally stable as the American chicks here, nor as "self-sustaining". I've also noticed that American girls aren't as judgmental about job titles of the guy if they're really into him, which isn't really found as much in desi girls. Sometimes I wonder how a marriage or a relationship can work without knowing the person before getting together, how the relationship can be based on love & trust if you haven't gotten to know the person well before marriage? In some ways, arranged marriages to me remind me of two people getting forced together, to be with one another, as a means of necessity than of true happiness.
And I'm 24, my parents don't want me looking for non-Pakistani, non-Muslim girls in America. I've told them I'm not interested in marriage right now. But that also means no dating on my part, especially with a non-Muslim, non-Pakistani girl. Which can be quite hard to comply with sometimes, especially when the job I've had after college totally sucks, & I hate doing it. I'm pretty sure my confidence for dating/asking girls out has been shot anyways, & all I can hope for is a Pakistani girl for myself in the future. But then they have certain traits I don't particularly like. It's a weird, conflicting state to be in.
And I'm 24, my parents don't want me looking for non-Pakistani, non-Muslim girls in America. I've told them I'm not interested in marriage right now. But that also means no dating on my part, especially with a non-Muslim, non-Pakistani girl. Which can be quite hard to comply with sometimes, especially when the job I've had after college totally sucks, & I hate doing it. I'm pretty sure my confidence for dating/asking girls out has been shot anyways, & all I can hope for is a Pakistani girl for myself in the future. But then they have certain traits I don't particularly like. It's a weird, conflicting state to be in.
