Corporate words that I hate. Add yours

[jamahir]

These words have relevance in context. Unless your colleagues are using them too often or wrong, there is nothing to be angry about these beautiful terminologies.

I will tell you an incident : Some years ago I asked a senior person in one company in the computing industry if he would participate in my microprocessor design project. He could have declined plainly. He instead said he did not have the "bandwidth" for my project.

Besides, why not simple-speak always ?? Why strange gibberish ??

Even until now I don't know what "Vertical" means.

 

[rambro]

Retrenchment
Redundancy
Restructuring

 

[graphican]

I will tell you an incident : Some years ago I asked a senior person in one company in the computing industry if he would participate in my microprocessor design project. He could have declined plainly. He instead said he did not have the "bandwidth" for my project.

Besides, why not simple-speak always ?? Why strange gibberish ??

Even until now I don't know what "Vertical" means.

Expressions are a big part of english culture. Instead of telling you something in words, they tell you a story that gives you sense of what they wanted to say. I used to find it awkward but then I found everybody was awkward before I became awkward myself .

Growing vertically and laterals are two terminologies used to describe "customer markets" you sell your products/services to. Verticals means staying within your industry, but moving upwards to bigger customer. For example if you are serving self employed accountant (1-3 people running a business), their vertical will be an accounting firm which has 20s, or 100s of accountants. But if you start serving loan/mortgage brokers in addition to accountants, that would mean you moved "laterally" to "a new customer market". Now new market (loan/mortgage brokers) will also have small mortgage brokers and their vertical will be Banks or mortgage firms employing 20s or 100s of mortgage brokers.

Study these terminologies, you'll start using them yourself.

 

[Cobra Arbok]

Social Responsibility, diversity, inclusiveness, etc.

 

[jamahir]

Retrenchment
Redundancy
Restructuring

Along the same lines : Rationalization.

 

[Yankee-stani]

Diversity

 

[jamahir]

Data Science.

I keep getting YouTube ads about some Indian-origin professor in Harvard talking about this.

 

[Jungibaaz]

I’m in finance but have a background in cs/engineering, therefore I have a bone to pick about the financial world’s (mis)use of the term API.

Any time someone mentions in passing or in a meeting, in my head I’m thinking “you don’t really know what an API is, stop using it in that incorrect way pls”. I’ve heard this term used as a catch all for anything related to financial data, often elusively referred to as something ground breaking or innovative.

To add to this thread:

Bottom line (overused)
Scalability
Organic/natural growth
Dialogue

 

[Mentee]

Below are from my memory
Supreme leader
Her/his majesty
Lordship
Corporation
Municipality
District magistrate
I.g
Minister
Committee
Chand adad pasport size tasveery
I.d card matric ki sanad domicile ki kaapia'n

 

[jamahir]

Bottom line (overused)
Scalability
Organic/natural growth
Dialogue

I think we can retain "Scalability" in certain areas. For example, the under-research battery technology NDB ( website ) can supposedly have applications ranging from a heart pacemaker to a cell phone to a clothes iron box to a lamp to a spacecraft, and everything in between. So the basic technology of the battery can be "scaled up".

Below are from my memory
Supreme leader
Her/his majesty
Lordship
Corporation
Municipality
District magistrate
I.g
Minister
Committee
Chand adad pasport size tasveery
I.d card matric ki sanad domicile ki kaapia'n

Why committee ?

 

[Rollno21]

Deadline
Targets

 

[Jungibaaz]

I think we can retain "Scalability" in certain areas. For example, the under-research battery technology NDB ( website ) can supposedly have applications ranging from a heart pacemaker to a cell phone to a clothes iron box to a lamp to a spacecraft, and everything in between. So the basic technology of the battery can be "scaled up".

I agree in principle, it has good uses. My gripe is overuse and jargon to fill team meetings.

 

[Techy Hassan]

Line Managers -- as if we are working on lathe machines.

 

[Juggernaut_Flat_Plane_V8]

All the bullshit words that are generated especially in the IT Industry and get absorbed in other industries.

Blockchain
Big Data
Internet of Things
Verticals
Service oriented
End to End
Metrics
Leverage
Cloud

---
More to add as I remember them.

Add yours

Vector / Vectors

 

[Mentee]

Why committee

When the govt officials want to get away scot free from any matter but the public outcry is too loud for them to bear with then they constitute a committee to gradually passify the national anger

All the bullshit words

Bro is that really you?