Canada Beefing Up Border Patrol

[Vassnti]

CANADA, (The Global Edition) — Governor Romney’s surprising victory in first Presidential debate between President Obama and the Governor has had a surprising effect on the United State’s neighbors to the north, North American media reports. The border police gave out a warning about “a flood of American liberals seen sneaking across the border into Canada“, which sparked calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

Media outlets report that the possibility of a Romney Presidency has prompted the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to “hold down a job, hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O’Reilly.”

Canadian border farmers noted that dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossed their fields last night. “I went out to milk the cows yesterday, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer Red Nesterenko, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. “He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I gave him some fresh warm goat milk he tossed his cookies and left. Didn’t even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

Canadian citizens have reportedly complained that these illegal immigrants are “creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies”.

”I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “but, how many lawyers, art-history and English majors does one country need?“ she added.

Canada Beefing Up Border Patrol In Event Romney Wins Presidential Election - The Global Edition