Bollywood actor Jiah Khan commits suicide

[S.U.R.B.]

I cannot believe a person brought up in UK be such emotional fool, surely she will have her own reason, but generally committing suicide for love is more desi phenomena.. its much better to fool around with boys and settle down once you are done.. lot less burden on mind..

Man the thing is whenever i cross some line or a signal on a red light, or i commit myself to something good or wrong or i feel like attached to somebody.There is a part of me ready for the consequences.There can be many solutions to a single problems thanks to the diversity of our life, our society and the world we are living in.

Love as "she" called it is a very intense feeling in a relationship.The more intimate someone is to you the more you'll be hurt by his/her behavior.So, that also means that you have to me very well prepared to collect the shattered pieces of your body once it is emotionally ,mentally and physically exhausted.I do not expect this from a youngster of 15-19 years of age.But i do expect it from those nearing the middle age to at least be prepared about it, before jumping in it.

I have to cut short my response due to the shortage of time.I'll continue on it later on as i get free.

 

[Dubious]

this must be the worst film song I have seen... I am feeling a bit suicidal now..

I cant play it even after removing the . :blink...something missing?! Didnt know D.O.T. is censored?!

Abortion? Did she even know about contraceptives? Judging by the content of the letter she might not.

Being brought up in UK...it is rarely you do not know about contraceptives....and how can a film star in India not know such things?!

 

[MastanKhan]

1stly, I am a girl


Hi,

My apologies---I should have known the 'sign' 'Talon' better.

I have been away from the homeland for close to 30 years---I don't know how much it has changed in regards to compassion for others---.

My older sister---when she was 4 or 5 years old---fell from a swing and hit the back of her head on concrete---as she grew older---she lost her eye sight---lost her speech and then---I don't know if she lost her sanity---but then she could not speak and just made noises of happiness or of displeasure. A tall beautifyul girl---but totally disabled---now think about pakistan of the 60's and 70's---wheel chairs an exeption---travelling by train---my father had to carry her into and out of the train compartment and the whole pakistani community were spectators---like it was a freak show---. Comments like---pagal oye pagal oye were common when she tried to make noises of speech---. I cannot even comprehend what kind of effect it had on my father---but one thing I know of---he never ever stopped going out on night calls as many times as they came.

She caught pneumonia in 1971---my father was away---by the time the news got to him--and he got home a few days later---she had passed away. That was the second child that died when he was posted away---medical facilities in small town pakistan---even in a doctor's house in his absence were no the best at that time and specially with a disabled child.

As for what I went thru during recession---it has made me more conscious of the tragedy that happens around us. The tragedy that you are talking about---that was systematic---a slowly progressive tragedy---the issue that I went through was instantaneous---one day I am at the top---the next day licking the bottom---with no skills and in my 50's rejection from one job to the next---not even getting basic sales job in the business that I was in---'because I was over qualified'---my thinking for the moment was that with all the benefits, my family would be in a better position.

 

[livingdead]

Man the thing is whenever i cross some line or a signal on a red light, or i commit myself to something good or wrong or i feel like attached to somebody.There is a part of me ready for the consequences.There can be many solutions to a single problems thanks to the diversity of our life, our society and the world we are living in.

Love as "she" called it is a very intense feeling in a relationship.The more intimate someone is to you the more you'll be hurt by his/her behavior.So, that also means that you have to me very well prepared to collect the shattered pieces of your body once it is emotionally ,mentally and physically exhausted.I do not expect this from a youngster of 15-19 years of age.But i do expect it from those nearing the middle age to at least be prepared about it, before jumping in it.

I have to cut short my response due to the shortage of time.I'll continue on it later on as i get free.

ya, I understand what you are saying, feeling of devastation when something like this happens. May be most people cope due to the support structure they got( younger girls here got army of girl friends who wont leave you alone and vunlerable, and once the moment has passed, one would recollect herself. Boys dont get that though).

 

[Dubious]

1stly, I am a girl


Hi,

My apologies---I should have known the 'sign' 'Talon' better.

I have been away from the homeland for close to 30 years---I don't know how much it has changed in regards to compassion for others---.

My older sister---when she was 4 or 5 years old---fell from a swing and hit the back of her head on concrete---as she grew older---she lost her eye sight---lost her speech and then---I don't know if she lost her sanity---but then she could not speak and just made noises of happiness or of displeasure. A tall beautifyul girl---but totally disabled---now think about pakistan of the 60's and 70's---wheel chairs an exeption---travelling by train---my father had to carry her into and out of the train compartment and the whole pakistani community were spectators---like it was a freak show---. Comments like---pagal oye pagal oye were common when she tried to make noises of speech---. I cannot even comprehend what kind of effect it had on my father---but one thing I know of---he never ever stopped going out on night calls as many times as they came.

She caught pneumonia in 1971---my father was away---by the time the news got to him--and he got home a few days later---she had passed away. That was the second child that died when he was posted away---medical facilities in small town pakistan---even in a doctor's house in his absence were no the best at that time and specially with a disabled child.

As for what I went thru during recession---it has made me more conscious of the tragedy that happens around us. The tragedy that you are talking about---that was systematic---a slowly progressive tragedy---the issue that I went through was instantaneous---one day I am at the top---the next day licking the bottom---with no skills and in my 50's rejection from one job to the next---not even getting basic sales job in the business that I was in---'because I was over qualified'---my thinking for the moment was that with all the benefits, my family would be in a better position.

Sorry to hear about your past and present...Not much can be said except sympathize and provide an ear to hear...

 

[livingdead]

@MastanKhan sir, you are my hero...
you are a strong man, and it will be an insult to even empathize with you..
But you did influence many here by sharing your thoughts, thank you.

 

[MastanKhan]

Sorry to hear about your past and present...Not much can be said except sympathize and provide an ear to hear...

Hi,

See----you totally missed everything----. I did not write it for sympathy or for a ear---. It had happened 40 years ago---and that to my parents---.

Now I know that you are just as arrogant and ignorant as an atypical pakistani who lives on family funds.

I am writing it for those who suffer and I am saying---there is nothing to be embarrassed about it---. I am writing to those who think that hiding their 'shame' or disability is the norm and I am saying no it is not---. I am writing to those to not make it a matter of shame---.

We are not the creation of a LESSER GOD---.

It is amazing how the 'so called' muslims would lay out the verses of quera'an a thousand verbatim---but do nothing about other social and moral crime in the nation.

 

[Ayush]

@Talon ^^^ perhpas some problem with quoting u

 

[Dubious]

Hi,

See----you totally missed everything----. I did not write it for sympathy or for a ear---. It had happened 40 years ago---and that to my parents---.

Now I know that you are just as arrogant and ignorant as an atypical pakistani who lives on family funds.

I am writing it for those who suffer and I am saying---there is nothing to be embarrassed about it---. I am writing to those who think that hiding their 'shame' or disability is the norm and I am saying no it is not---. I am writing to those to not make it a matter of shame---.

We are not the creation of a LESSER GOD---.

It is amazing how the 'so called' muslims would lay out the verses of quera'an a thousand verbatim---but do nothing about other social and moral crime in the nation.

You dont sound 50 at all...Maybe you learnt nothing from your life....1 thing I stick to is NOT showing off what you do for others!

It is between you and yourself and you and GOD...it is not a public affair!

2ndly, posting things on a public forum where no one knows you is only gonna get you sympathy to indicate that there is humanity out there!

Am not sure what you were expecting....

It is not about embarrassment, but things that happen to you does not need to be part of a media, you are not the sole person suffering...Nor are you suffering anything worse than one who had to bury his own son...his supporter while watch the other die...

Nor are you suffering anything close to a war victim who hears a large sound and suddenly is an orphan and doesnt even understand why....

Nor do you suffer as a mother who says bye to her son who either goes to school or is on his way to work and returns with a kaffan!

Nor is your suffering even as close to that of a parent who has to watch his or her daughter die because they couldnt afford the medical...

So before calling 1 arrogant and ignorant, learn to appreciate what you have and listen to what others have to say...

Disability is no shame...that is your thinking and hence you feel the need to say such things....cant believe 30 yrs overseas and you still didnt learn a thing!

@Talon ^^^ perhpas some problem with quoting u

I still got the quote notification!

 

[MastanKhan]

@MastanKhan sir, you are my hero...
you are a strong man, and it will be an insult to even empathize with you..
But you did influence many here by sharing your thoughts, thank you.

Hi,

I will tell you what was one of the few things amongst many that influenced me to open up----I was selling cars in san jose area after the recession started----. I have this white guy that I am selling this car to---we started talking---after awhile he says to me---you did not come to this country to sell cars---now did you---I said no---I went to the engineering school---he says what happened---I says---good times---good parties and like of it----. Spent a lots of family money---I failed in my endeavours---out of embarrassment hid from my relatives---never called them---never talked to them---. He says what happened afterwards----I says---afterwards I realized---my family members just wanted to know wherever I was---I was okay---they cared less of my failures---they just wanted to know about me---. My aunt---ie my dad's only sister begged my mother t call---but I did not---and one day she passed away---so many of my uncles left this world----till one day I gathered courage and went back to pakistan to see them.

I found out that they missed me as much as I missed them---they just wanted to spend a few moments with me---who cared if I screwed up most of my life---at least I had the ability to build it up.

The guy kept quiet for a moment---then he mentioned that in the local univeristy there are a lots of indian students---one of the students just recently committed suicide---he was in the same boat as you were---money coming in from home---no worries---parties all the time and then the time just flew by---till he realized he had failed---could not face his family---and committed suicide---. The family came to san jose to take his body---they were totally devastated. This guy being in IT was somehow associated with the indian community in the san jose area and at the college campus and he knew OUR CULTURE very well.

As much as I looted and plundered my family's money and made them paupers 'almost'---the thought of hurting myself never came to my mind---I kept on fighting.

But what got me was at first the shock of losing the job---secondly not even getting a basic salesman's job---and to top it off---my 7 years sold and my 4 years old telling my wife---why is dad staying at home all the time---tell him to go get a job----why don't he leave the house---" why don't he leave us alone "---. The last words were just meaningless words under ordinary circumstances---when I worked---they did as it pleased them---now I was home and was effecting their life style----can you imagine life style of young children---. That is what drove me over the edge---.

When I was younger---I used to make fun of my grandfather---one of my uncle had many a screwups in his life----my grandfather was always running around sorting them out---and I would say---just dump him---and move with your life---and he would say---'son when you have your kids---you will know the pain"---I tell you---pay back is a bit-ch. I have learnt to laugh at my follies and laugh I do---.

I am fortunate that the fighter in me did not let go---and I came out of it---came out of it more humane, kinder and gentler---whatever that means.

 

[Jade]

That b@stard sooraj pancholi should suffer for this. I guess under IPC 306 he can only be imprisoned for 10 years. I think he deserves much longer punishment.

 

[Secur]

That b@stard sooraj pancholi should suffer for this. I guess under IPC 306 he can only be imprisoned for 10 years. I think he deserves much longer punishment.

What for ?

Edit : Just read that bit , why didn't she report to the police instead of killing herself ?

 

[Jade]

What for ?

Edit : Just read that bit , why didn't she report to the police instead of killing herself ?

There could be many reasons for not reporting to police. In fact majority of domestic violence cases goes unreported. But no women would go to such extremes as taking ones life unless the man has tortured her to no end, both mentally and physically.

 

[Secur]

There could be many reasons for not reporting to police. In fact majority of domestic violence cases goes unreported. But no women would go to such extremes as taking ones life unless the man has tortured her to no end, both mentally and physically.

I can understand the ' different reasons ' thing . But the fact is that she wasn't first of all married to the man in question nor was she living in some rural areas to hide if she was raped . No women would go to such extremes without making sure first that the culprit's life is ruined too . I am actually surprised to hear this new revelation , at least she could have told all this to any of her close friend .

 

[Jade]

I can understand the ' different reasons ' thing . But the fact is that she wasn't first of all married to the man in question nor was she living in some rural areas to hide if she was raped . No women would go to such extremes without making sure first that the culprit's life is ruined too . I am actually surprised to hear this new revelation , at least she could have told all this to any of her close friend .

Domestic violence is not some phenomena that is confined to some rural area in South Asia. Even in developed world it is a big big issue

United Nations Official Document

USA (most developed country on earth) is one country that has one of the highest rates of domestic violence and in fact 85% US women experienced domestic violence at least once in their life and more than 70% of these domestic violence cases in US goes unreported

Domestic Violence Statistics: 70% of Cases Go Unreported

http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf