dabong1
<b>PDF VETERAN</b>
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2006
- Messages
- 4,417
- Reaction score
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4zayTrPotE4[/media] - liverpool are crap
Scouser walks into the D.S.S. and says :-
"I've just been offered a Blow Job, If I take it will it affect my benefit claim
Q: Define confusion
A: Fathers day in Liverpool
Q. Why can't you circumcise a Scouser?
A. Because there is no end to those pricks.
Q. Why do pigeons fly upside down over Liverpool?
A. Because there's nothing worth shitting on.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside?
Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Liverpool fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Liverpool - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "£100" says the shopkeeper.
"That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear ??"
"Well its a tenner for the video and £90 for the Betamax recorder!!
Q: What's is the differance between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?
A: Pam's only got two tits in front of her
Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?
A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scowser fan?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So they ain't mistaken fur a Liverpudlian women.
What do Liverpool fans and mushrooms have in common?
They both have big heads and live in ****
What's the difference between a Scouser and a broken clock?
Even a clock is right twice a day!
What should you do if you see a scouse jogging?
Trip him up and give the lady's purse back to her.
How do you make a scouser run faster?
stick a video player under his arm
Q.What's the difference between Batman and a Scouser?
A.Batman can go anywhere without Robin.
Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked it would be mugged.
Man walks into a shop in Liverpool:
Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?
Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?
What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
A burglar.
What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.
What do you call a scouser in a suit?
The accused.
If you see a Scouser on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What do you say to a Scouser with a job?
Big Mac please.
What's long, scouse, and goes around corners?
The Dole queue.
Why is the Anfield Stadium Grass so green?
Because every week Liverpool put millions of pounds worth of **** on it.
What do you call a Scouse woman in a white shell-suit?
The bride
Q: What do you call a Scouse woman who has had 6 abortions ?
A: Crime Prevention officer
Scouser walks into the D.S.S. and says :-
"I've just been offered a Blow Job, If I take it will it affect my benefit claim
Q: Define confusion
A: Fathers day in Liverpool
Q. Why can't you circumcise a Scouser?
A. Because there is no end to those pricks.
Q. Why do pigeons fly upside down over Liverpool?
A. Because there's nothing worth shitting on.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside?
Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Liverpool fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Liverpool - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "£100" says the shopkeeper.
"That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear ??"
"Well its a tenner for the video and £90 for the Betamax recorder!!
Q: What's is the differance between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?
A: Pam's only got two tits in front of her
Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?
A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scowser fan?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So they ain't mistaken fur a Liverpudlian women.
What do Liverpool fans and mushrooms have in common?
They both have big heads and live in ****
What's the difference between a Scouser and a broken clock?
Even a clock is right twice a day!
What should you do if you see a scouse jogging?
Trip him up and give the lady's purse back to her.
How do you make a scouser run faster?
stick a video player under his arm
Q.What's the difference between Batman and a Scouser?
A.Batman can go anywhere without Robin.
Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked it would be mugged.
Man walks into a shop in Liverpool:
Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?
Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?
What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
A burglar.
What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.
What do you call a scouser in a suit?
The accused.
If you see a Scouser on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What do you say to a Scouser with a job?
Big Mac please.
What's long, scouse, and goes around corners?
The Dole queue.
Why is the Anfield Stadium Grass so green?
Because every week Liverpool put millions of pounds worth of **** on it.
What do you call a Scouse woman in a white shell-suit?
The bride
Q: What do you call a Scouse woman who has had 6 abortions ?
A: Crime Prevention officer
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