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Terror Alerts !!

third eye

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Loosen up a while....

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance."

The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend", and "The barbie is canceled."
 
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^^^ lol.

Terror Alert in India - has been raised from 'Blame the BJP (or vice versa)' to 'Blame Pakistan'.

The next level would be 'Take candle-light vigils with various celebrities in their choicest outfits at Marine Drive holding placards, Enough is enough'.

The final and the time tested one would be - Repeat the above three steps until the common Indian forgets the issue and goes back to his daily life
 
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^^^ lol.

Terror Alert in India - has been raised from 'Blame the BJP (or vice versa)' to 'Blame Pakistan'.

The next level would be 'Take candle-light vigils with various celebrities in their choicest outfits at Marine Drive holding placards, Enough is enough'.

The final and the time tested one would be - Repeat the above three steps until the common Indian forgets the issue and goes back to his daily life

Well said.
 
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French were really bad, bad people once, which reminds me the famous dialog from "The Third Man".

You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock

Without knowing, Swiss were the most powerful and feared military force in Europe during Borgias.
 
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