Stupid and Funny from all over the world

[S-A-B-E-R->]

Medal of Honor Cat

freediw is awsome

 

[Ajaxpaul]

 

[Leader]

 

[MastanKhan]

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter...

Mess with seniors and you're going to Lose

 

[MastanKhan]

A lady had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short period of time . Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

1.)The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
The card said nothing but: 'Nescafe'!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: 'Good till the last drop'..

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

2.) The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: 'Rothmans'
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: 'Extra Long. King Size' She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.


3.) The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town . Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words ' Emirates Airlines'
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for EA.
The ad said: 'Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways.'

Mom fainted!

---------- Post added at 10:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:09 PM ----------

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH !!!

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation..

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

'Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two , they come together
again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.'

The lady can't take this any more....


' You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig!' she retorted indignantly... 'In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives! '

'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'



(I bet you're gonna read this again.)

 

[MastanKhan]

The sharing of marriage...

The old man placed an order for one hamburger,French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.


He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.


He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.


Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'


As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything


People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.


Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'


Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'


She answered --


(Continue below - This is great)















'THE TEETH.'

 

[Patriot]

[/IMG]

 

[Patriot]

 

[Last Hope]

 

[Unbeliever]

More YouTube - ‪Songify This‬‏

 

[soul hacker]

 

[soul hacker]

---------- Post added at 12:13 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:12 AM ----------

 

[soul hacker]

 

[Transformers]

A very good story..not funny but deserve to be shared.

Once a boy went to a shop with his mother. The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets

And said 'Dear Child. You can take the sweets...

But the child didn't take. The shop keeper was surprised.. Such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle. Again he said take the sweets....

Now the mother also heard that and said.. Take the sweets dear.. Yet he didn't take... The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets... He himself took the sweets and gave to the child. The child was happy to get two hands full of sweets.

While returning home the Mother asked the child... Why didn't you take the sweets, when the shop keeper told you to take?..

Can you guess the response: Child replies... Mom! My hands are very small and if I take the sweets I can only take few.. But now you see when uncle gave with his big hands.... How many more sweets I got!

Moral: When we take we may get little but when God gives... HE gives us more beyond our expectations. .. More than what we can think of.

 

[Last Hope]