Chakar The Great
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Source: Times of India
We keep changing the names of places so that we can keep calling them by newer and newer names. The latest place to have a proposed name change is Allahabad, which the state government wants to rename Prayagraj, on the grounds that this was its original name till the mid-16th century. As though inspired by this nominal example, the Himachal sarkar is contemplating renaming Shimla – which was already renamed from its original Simla – as Shyamla.
All this name-calling comes in the wake of Bombay being called Mumbai, Madras becoming Chennai, Poona being transformed into Pune, Calcutta into Kolkata, and Bangalore into Bengaluru, to cite just a few examples. A number of well-meaning but misguided people oppose this name-changing, saying that it negates the historic identity associated with a particular place, arguing that a Gurugram isn’t a Gurgaon by any other name, nor a Dilli a Delhi.
Such arguments fail to grasp the hidden agenda behind this name-game, which has ingeniously been devised by the authorities to be a game-changer in our fight against cross-border terrorism. When a foreign-based terrorist infiltrates into our country with orders to carry out a terror strike in, say, a place which till yesterday was called Dholaknagar and overnight has been turned into Bandbajayegram, the fellow will be left totally clueless as to where he is, or where he’s meant to go, and in utter frustration blow himself up with the same bomb which he was supposed to plant in that place called – Baqwaspur? Bewaqoofnagar? What the heck was it? Boom! Exit one terrorist.
Indeed, to make this counterterrorism strategy most effective we should change all our place names on a regular basis throughout the year, perhaps on the first Tuesday of every month which doesn’t have an ‘r’ in it. This will effectively put a stop to cross-border terrorism by leaving would-be cross-border terrorists completely stumped. Particularly if our country itself changes its name and assumes an alias, or an also-known-as which is shortened as aka. Which would make us Akastan. And if you were to add a ‘P’ to it, for the life of him the cross-border terrorist would be left cross-eyed trying to figure out what border he’d crossed, if any.
We keep changing the names of places so that we can keep calling them by newer and newer names. The latest place to have a proposed name change is Allahabad, which the state government wants to rename Prayagraj, on the grounds that this was its original name till the mid-16th century. As though inspired by this nominal example, the Himachal sarkar is contemplating renaming Shimla – which was already renamed from its original Simla – as Shyamla.
All this name-calling comes in the wake of Bombay being called Mumbai, Madras becoming Chennai, Poona being transformed into Pune, Calcutta into Kolkata, and Bangalore into Bengaluru, to cite just a few examples. A number of well-meaning but misguided people oppose this name-changing, saying that it negates the historic identity associated with a particular place, arguing that a Gurugram isn’t a Gurgaon by any other name, nor a Dilli a Delhi.
Such arguments fail to grasp the hidden agenda behind this name-game, which has ingeniously been devised by the authorities to be a game-changer in our fight against cross-border terrorism. When a foreign-based terrorist infiltrates into our country with orders to carry out a terror strike in, say, a place which till yesterday was called Dholaknagar and overnight has been turned into Bandbajayegram, the fellow will be left totally clueless as to where he is, or where he’s meant to go, and in utter frustration blow himself up with the same bomb which he was supposed to plant in that place called – Baqwaspur? Bewaqoofnagar? What the heck was it? Boom! Exit one terrorist.
Indeed, to make this counterterrorism strategy most effective we should change all our place names on a regular basis throughout the year, perhaps on the first Tuesday of every month which doesn’t have an ‘r’ in it. This will effectively put a stop to cross-border terrorism by leaving would-be cross-border terrorists completely stumped. Particularly if our country itself changes its name and assumes an alias, or an also-known-as which is shortened as aka. Which would make us Akastan. And if you were to add a ‘P’ to it, for the life of him the cross-border terrorist would be left cross-eyed trying to figure out what border he’d crossed, if any.
