You are giving more-than-due credit to religion(s) but you are entitled to your opinion.
OK, for the argument sake, lets say Islam is defined by its followers. Muslim population, at this time, stands at estimated 1.6 to 1.7 billion. Are you (and others of your opinion) suggesting that all these Muslims are fanatics? In order for a religion to be labeled as bad, theoretically, a majority of its followers should be bad. Now if you say that maybe 10% or 20% or 30% Muslims are bad but others are just fine, then why the so-called good/moderate Muslims standing at 70% are not counted as those Muslims who define Islam?
No. I am saying that given the inherently mysterious nature of religions, be it Islam or Christianity or Rastafarianism, confusion is inevitable and among the confused will be those who are certain of what they gleamed from the religion to be guidance for their actions.
I admire woodworkers, especially the ones who over time and dedication became craftsmen. I doubt that when said craftsman begins the day, his tools speaks to him and point him to which joint to create the most sturdy table or the plane whispers to him on how much wood to shave.
But a religion does exactly that. A religion tells the male believer that if he lives his life according to this list of virtues and actions, he will receive this list of benefits from his god in the afterlife or even some benefits in this life. Then this same religion tells the female believer that if she lives her life according to this list of virtues and actions, she will receive this list of benefits from her god in the afterlife or even some benefits in this life.
The problem here is that the religion does not speak with clarity but in codes and riddles. So mysterious are these codes and riddles that an entire category of humans is needed: the priesthood. Each priest a flawed human being attempting to negotiate with a being he/she believes to be flawless, but still speaks in codes and riddles. The result, each priest ends up putting his/her own psychological imprint into the religion and the rest of the believers are no better off.
So yes, your Islam is very much defined by the Muslims, including the violent ones. No human personality is ever simple, so what make you think your religion's personality can be simply defined with a single descriptor ?
Despite the fact that there probably are more sects in Christianity than there are in Islam, non-violence is the primary and common core among the Christian sects. We are talking about
TODAY, not a few hundred yrs ago.