Few observations based on this thread and my own personal experiences that I'd like to mention.
1. I don't think it's anyone business to tell anyone else whether they should or should not sleep around, drink around, etc.
2. However, at the same time, no one should tell a person that they should be open to being in a relationship with someone who has slept around, etc. That is really not any less nosey and intolerant than someone who goes around telling people they should not sleep around, etc. It is everyone's personal business so let it be. Especially if one avoided sleeping around, is a virgin, etc, then that person has every moral right to look for a partner that has done the same, i.e. is a virgin, hasn't had alcohol.
Even if one has slept around and wants a partner that is virgin, that may on surface appear hypocritical, but the reality a lot of people want partners that are different from themselves in certain ways.
3. Whoever equated watching p0rn to having sex is a complete and utter idiot.
4. This bullshit about "guys being free to do whatever they want but girls can't" bullshit has to stop. There's no such double standard so stop deluding yourselves. Every double standard girls face, guys face as well. The people in our community egg on guys who marry outside their culture, who sleep around, etc. So seriously cut this crap and start living in the real world.
You seem to be quite full of double standards yourself here.
1) In both cases, you only mention what happens if the husband doesn't listen. In the first case, the wife repents but husband doesn't listen. In the second case, the wife is ready to listen but husband doesn't repent. Why are you only limiting yourself to these scenarios?
2) So in one case, the wife has repented and is not having boyfriends anymore. If the husband doesn't accept that than he has no guts and has backwards thoughts, etc. On the other hand, if the husband did some bad deeds, "she should try improving him". No such mention in the first case, presumably suggesting only women can improve by themselves and men require women to improve them.
Nevermind the fact you don't quite understand the breach of trust problem. If one marries an individual with the assumption that they are a virgin, and it turns out that they are not, that is a huge breach of trust. An individual has a right to look for someone that is a virgin, and if you lie about it then you deserve what's coming.
1. I don't think it's anyone business to tell anyone else whether they should or should not sleep around, drink around, etc.
2. However, at the same time, no one should tell a person that they should be open to being in a relationship with someone who has slept around, etc. That is really not any less nosey and intolerant than someone who goes around telling people they should not sleep around, etc. It is everyone's personal business so let it be. Especially if one avoided sleeping around, is a virgin, etc, then that person has every moral right to look for a partner that has done the same, i.e. is a virgin, hasn't had alcohol.
Even if one has slept around and wants a partner that is virgin, that may on surface appear hypocritical, but the reality a lot of people want partners that are different from themselves in certain ways.
3. Whoever equated watching p0rn to having sex is a complete and utter idiot.
4. This bullshit about "guys being free to do whatever they want but girls can't" bullshit has to stop. There's no such double standard so stop deluding yourselves. Every double standard girls face, guys face as well. The people in our community egg on guys who marry outside their culture, who sleep around, etc. So seriously cut this crap and start living in the real world.
If a husband's wife has repented and is not having boyfriends anymore and is sincere to him then there's no need to get angry or create a drama, live with her she'll be a good wife but if you've no guts and your backward thoughts keep messing you up then divorce is the option that Allah has given you , no need to taunt her all life and make her life a miserable one for her actions in past , free the woman and let her live life and you can keep wasting yourself to the miserable thoughts or marry another . Same applies to women , if she found her husband guilty of any bad deed , she should try improving him but if it doesn't work then no need to waste life and take all the beatings and curses from a drunk husband .
Unfortunately , divorce is a taboo here and in such cases both woman nd man has to suffer for the sake of their miserable relatives,.
You seem to be quite full of double standards yourself here.
1) In both cases, you only mention what happens if the husband doesn't listen. In the first case, the wife repents but husband doesn't listen. In the second case, the wife is ready to listen but husband doesn't repent. Why are you only limiting yourself to these scenarios?
2) So in one case, the wife has repented and is not having boyfriends anymore. If the husband doesn't accept that than he has no guts and has backwards thoughts, etc. On the other hand, if the husband did some bad deeds, "she should try improving him". No such mention in the first case, presumably suggesting only women can improve by themselves and men require women to improve them.
Nevermind the fact you don't quite understand the breach of trust problem. If one marries an individual with the assumption that they are a virgin, and it turns out that they are not, that is a huge breach of trust. An individual has a right to look for someone that is a virgin, and if you lie about it then you deserve what's coming.