Hindu Society and their Widows

[Beskar]

Shunned from society, widows flock to city to die

Shunned from society, widows flock to city to die - CNN.com


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VRINDAVAN, India (CNN) -- Ostracized by society, thousands of India's widows flock to the holy city of Vrindavan waiting to die. They are found on side streets, hunched over with walking canes, their heads shaved and their pain etched by hundreds of deep wrinkles in their faces.

These Hindu widows, the poorest of the poor, are shunned from society when their husbands die, not for religious reasons, but because of tradition -- and because they're seen as a financial drain on their families.

They cannot remarry. They must not wear jewelry. They are forced to shave their heads and typically wear white. Even their shadows are considered bad luck.



Hindus have long believed that death in Vrindavan will free them from the cycle of life and death. For widows, they hope death will save them from being condemned to such a life again. Video Watch how some widows are rebelling »

"Does it feel good?" says 70-year-old Rada Rani Biswas. "Now I have to loiter just for a bite to eat."

Biswas speaks with a strong voice, but her spirit is broken. When her husband of 50 years died, she was instantly ostracized by all those she thought loved her, including her son.

"My son tells me: 'You have grown old. Now who is going to feed you? Go away,' " she says, her eyes filling with tears. "What do I do? My pain had no limit."



As she speaks, she squats in front of one of Vrindavan's temples, her life reduced to begging for scraps of food.

There are an estimated 40 million widows in India, the least fortunate of them shunned and stripped of the life they lived when they were married.

It's believed that 15,000 widows live on the streets of Vrindavan, a city of about 55,000 in northern India.

"Widows don't have many social rights within the family," says Ranjana Kumari with the Center for Social Research, a group that works to empower women.

The situation is much more extreme within some of India's rural community. "There, it is much more tradition-bound; in urban areas, there are more chances and possibilities to live a normal life."

But the majority of India's 1.1 billion population is rural. "The government recognizes the problem," Kumari says. "It can do a lot, but it's not doing enough."
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One woman, a widow herself, is working for change. Dr. Mohini Giri has formed an organization called the Guild of Service, which helps destitute women and children.

Giri's mother was widowed when Giri was 9 years old, and she saw what a struggle it was. Then, Giri lost her husband when she was 50, enduring the social humiliation that comes with being a widow. At times, she was asked not to attend weddings because her presence was considered bad luck.

"Generally all widows are ostracized," she says. "An educated woman may have money and independence, but even that is snatched away when she becomes a widow. We live in a patriarchal society. Men say that culturally as a widow you cannot do anything: You cannot grow your hair, you should not look beautiful."

She adds, "It's the mind-set of society we need to change -- not the women."



Seven years ago, Giri's organization set up a refuge called Amar Bari, or "My Home," in Vrindavan. It has become a refuge for about 120 of India's widows. Giri's organization is set to open a second home, one that will house another 500 widows.

But as she says, "Mine is but a drop in the bucket."

At Amar Bari, most widows reject traditional white outfits and grow out their hair. Along the open air corridors that link the house's courtyard are green wooden doors, leading to dark tiny rooms, home for each widow. Photo See the widows of Vrindavan »

Bent over by osteoporosis, 85-year-old Promita Das meticulously and slowly sweeps the floor just outside her door and then carefully cleans her dishes.

"I came here when I couldn't work anymore. I used to clean houses," she says. "Nobody looked after me, nobody loved me. I survived on my own."

She married at 12 and was widowed at 15. Seventy years later, she finds herself at Amar Bari. "I used to live in front of a temple, but then I came here," she says.

She carries with her not only the pain of a life without love, but also the loss of her only child. She gave birth at 14; her baby lived a year.
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Another widow, Ranu Mukherjee, wearing a bright red-patterned sari, shows off her room at the home and wants to sing for her guests. The lyrics of her song are about a lost traveler.

"When did you come here after losing your way?" she sings. "When I remember the days gone by I feel sad."

 

[TruthSeeker]

Hey! Bezerk! Did you find this article in an India tourist advert? Reminds me of the Eskimo tribes that used to leave their old widows on an ice flow to die. Very, very sad.

 

[Beskar]

Hey! Bezerk! Did you find this article in an India tourist advert? Reminds me of the Eskimo tribes that used to leave their old widows on an ice flow to die. Very, very sad.

Lol Not exactly. I just stumbled upon this on CNN. Yes, it's REALLY sad, and I thought I should share it with the gang. These women deserve better.

 

[Salahadin]

Lol Not exactly. I just stumbled upon this on CNN. Yes, it's REALLY sad, and I thought I should share it with the gang. These women deserve better.

Thanks for sharing it. it is indeed quite disturbing also as far as my knowledge goes Hinduism they also believe in (Sati) Right burn widowed women alive on their Husbands cremation fire

 

[afriend]

Thanks for the article.. Darkest side of india indeed. I belive women should be educated and be independent then only we can do away with this practise. Only way out is education and awarness, that explains why such practises are unheard of in a highly literate state of kerala, himachel etc.

 

[A.Rahman]

Thanks for sharing it. it is indeed quite disturbing also as far as my knowledge goes Hinduism they also believe in (Sati) Right burn widowed women alive on their Husbands cremation fire

In some Hindu communities, it is conventional to bury the dead. Deaths of widows have been known to occur in these communities, with the widow being buried alive beside her husband, in ceremonies that are largely the same as those performed in sati.

you are right it is connected to Hinduism

Justifications for the practice are given in the Vishnu Smriti.
Now the duties of a woman (are) ... After the death of her husband, to preserve her chastity, or to ascend the pile after him.

The Puranas have examples of women who commit sati and there are suggestions in them that this was considered desirable or praiseworthy: A wife who dies in the company of her husband shall remain in heaven as many years as there are hairs on his person. (Garuda Purana 1.107.29) According to 2.4.93 she stays with her husband in heaven during the rule of 14 Indras, i.e. a kalpa.

 

[jeypore]

Thanks for sharing it. it is indeed quite disturbing also as far as my knowledge goes Hinduism they also believe in (Sati) Right burn widowed women alive on their Husbands cremation fire

And your knowledge spans in what century? After all we are in 21 century!!!

 

[A.Rahman]

And your knowledge spans in what century? After all we are in 21 century!!!

So hindusim should not exist, since it wasn't formed in 21 century.

If you don't acknowledge it doesn't means that its not in your scriptures.

On October 11, 2008, an elderly woman committed 'sati' by jumping into her 80-year-old husband's funeral pyre at Checher in Kasdol block of Chhattisgarh's Raipur district

 

[anand]

So hindusim should not exist, since it wasn't formed in 21 century.

If you don't acknowledge it doesn't means that its not in your scriptures.

On October 11, 2008, an elderly woman committed 'sati' by jumping into her 80-year-old husband's funeral pyre at Checher in Kasdol block of Chhattisgarh's Raipur district

No sir, evil practices in the name of hinduism was banned in 21st century.
Many still believe in sati practice (interestingly only praising, but not committing sati), does not mean Hinduism support sati.
infact, In the Ramayana, Tara, in her grief at the death of husband Vali, wished to commit sati. Hanuman, Rama, and the dying Vali dissuade her and she finally does not immolate herself.

 

[Captain03]

very sad news
its sad to such that such a tradition exists

 

[Al-zakir]

India is a wired country with wired believes. As far as I know Hinduism isn't religion like Islam, Christan or Judaism. It's a way of life. It doesn't believe in hell or heaven. We Muslims have to understand and make a assessment that it's part of Hinduism is to worship Cows, monkey, snake, trees and god knows what else. So this kind of inhumane practice only logical to some extend. Some Indian members might find my statement offensive but it's truth.

 

[Neo]

Many faces of widows on Indian celluloid​

March 11th, 2007

From the pathos of widows of the 1930’s India in “Water” to the mystic of Aishwarya Rai as a young widow in “Chokher Bali” (’Sand in the Eye’), fables of ill-fated women have often graced Indian celluloid.

Whether it is the resolute Nargis in “Mother India”, the stoically resigned Jaya Bachchan in “Sholay”, the forgiving Ayesha Takia in “Dor”, the star-crossed Dimple Kapadia in “Rudaali, the rebel Padmini Kolhapure in “Prem Rog”, the revenge-seeking Rakhee in “Karan Arjun” (and many others) or the widow-of-today Rani Mukerji in “Hum Tum” and “Baabul”, filmmakers have for long played up the inherent tragedy of the character to fill many canvases.

Oscar-nominated “Water” by Toronto-based Indian filmmaker Deepa Mehta that finally released in India this week, is perhaps the most daring depiction of the plight of widows in the country.

“Water” faced opposition from Hindu fundamentalists because they felt that it is anti-Hindu and destroyed the sets of the film in 2000 and also burnt Mehta’s effigy. But Mehta was determined to complete the film and finally shot it in Sri Lanka with the cast that included Seema Biswas, Lisa Ray, John Abraham and Waheeda Rehman.

“Water” was sent to the Oscars by Canada as its official entry for the best foreign language film category and secured a nomination. Though it lost the Oscar to a German film “The Lives of Others”, it is most relevant to today’s India.

The film introducing child actor Sarala as a seven-year-old abandoned widow has garnered rich accolades in India as well.

Though most refuse to accept, but for abandoned widows in Brindavan, known as the “City of Widows”, “Water” is a story about their lives even today. Widows seek salvation there either in Varanasi or Brindaban, which is about 120 km away from Delhi.

According to a survey by a social worker, there are more than 9,000 widows in Brindaban and most of them either survive on charity or pension from the government.

Dharan Mandrayar, a California-based Indian director, made a movie “White Rainbow” on the different kind of widow abuse - social ostracism, abandonment by children, rape by in-laws, and financial and sexual exploitation by priests - that is still experienced.

“Many Indians shrug off widow abuse. It’s been like this for centuries as the accepted way of life. The husband is called a god and the minute a woman loses her god, she becomes a zero,” Mohini Giri, a leading Indian activist for widows’ rights, was quoted as saying.

In India, widow-remarriage is still a far cry as depicted in recently released “Baabul” starring Rani, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Hema Malini and John Abraham.

Films advocating widow remarriage are not new. BR Films, one of the prestigious banners in Bollywood, had tried it in “Ek Hi Raasta” some five decades ago. Similarly, Dharmendra and Meena Kumari starrer “Phool Aur Patthar” and “Subah Ka Tara” by V. Shantaram stressed on the same issue.

Such films have been trying to raise the collective conscience of the society but it is an uphill task. Old customs and belief are still deeply rooted. Another survey conducted by India’s national census in 2001 reported that there were more than 34 million widows in the country.

However, many Bollywood filmmakers have refrained themselves from portraying widows reality because Hindi cinema’s delineation of the woman had always fitted in with the middle-class mindset and morality. It was the centuries-old concept of woman as goddess, which was reflected with all its glorious obfuscations in most Bollywood films.

A more realistic depiction of the suffering of widows in India may have a lasting impact. Like a study shows how working widows feel the need to continue wearing symbols of matrimony so that they are not harassed by male colleagues and that a majority of the employed widows did not want to remarry for fear of society or losing their economic independence.

 

[jeypore]

So hindusim should not exist, since it wasn't formed in 21 century.

If you don't acknowledge it doesn't means that its not in your scriptures.

On October 11, 2008, an elderly woman committed 'sati' by jumping into her 80-year-old husband's funeral pyre at Checher in Kasdol block of Chhattisgarh's Raipur district

No one is dening that sati did not exist in hinduism. Swami narayan became a sect of Hindu religion because it start to prevent Sati. That was back in 1800's, alas my question again is what century you believe Hinduism thrives in?

And the example you gave, the elderly women made her own decision to jump in, nobody forced her to do so.

And also Sati is a perfect example of how Hinduism is, it conforms to modern ways and it has the ability to change as people perception changes of how a religion should be. It is not at all static, as perceived on this board were idelogy of superiority comes into play.

 

[Bull]

The Puranas have examples of women who commit sati and there are suggestions in them that this was considered desirable or praiseworthy: A wife who dies in the company of her husband shall remain in heaven as many years as there are hairs on his person. (Garuda Purana 1.107.29) According to 2.4.93 she stays with her husband in heaven during the rule of 14 Indras, i.e. a kalpa.

That doesnt mean kill her along with a husband along with the husband.

 

[Zob]

where are fateh,toxic-puss and all those boys arguing for hours endlessly about BURQAA!!