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Gender Selection : Choosing the Sex of Your Child

First of all baby girl isnt a curse . there is a balance of genders made by nature no need to disturb it .
Who said baby girl is curse? You guys don't even read before jumping toward reply. You are suggesting that having desire for son after having many daughters is some sort of curse. The family whom i know personally love their daughters but want next child as boy. How this is equal to cursing girls when they already have three daughters and love them?

If the only argument you have is that it is against nature then so is birth control ,IVF, blood transfusions chemotherapy etc . If couples don't adopt birth control then nature would give them dozen kids if not more lol You are talking about overall ratio of males and females on this planet while I am talking about ratio of male and females within one family not entire planet. Nature may make this overall balancing by giving one couple three girls and another couple three son so there is overall balance but its imbalance for individuals family

Third point which is very important. There are couples with two or three sons and they also desire girl as next child to get this feeling of having daughter so would this be a curse for boys? I don't think so

Same way the husband will do WHILE he is living with his wife at a different place?



Again, children aren't caretaker of their parents, thats a toxic way of life which people think they can give birth to a bunch of kids just so they can take care of them in the old age. I don't know where this idea comes from. but it needs to end. Preferring a son over a daughter because daughters might not be able to handle the dad when he becomes sick? Have we fallen that low?

We can no longer use the excuse that both genders are required as kids because of the roles genders play. There are single moms and single dads. There are working moms and working dads. There are stay-at-home moms and stay-at-home dads. So that argument doesn't really work in current times.

There are 100+ countries on this planet. If they can move on from this primitive thinking, I'm sure we can as well
If I talk about my personal opinion then its not practically possible to look after your old parent if you don't live with them when they need you the most. If I am living in UK and they are living n Pakistan then all I could do is call/text/video chat which is not same as giving them helping hand and provide them all emotional and physical support which they need over there.

Dude you are very judgemental . I was also harsh on them initially but then I realized that its easy to bash others while its hard to give them suggestions to remove their fears of future. Its natural for parent to develop certain expectations from children and even if parent don't expect anything from children but still society and religion hold us accountable for not caring and looking after our old parent as they did look after us when we were helpless.

I am living in western society and I have seen that old parent waiting for death in old homes or in their flats and most of them feel so lonely because their children are busy in their own lives and give them visit just monthly or just on special occasion like xmas/easter/bank holiday so its not something ideal to copy from west. You also need to look at those families in Pakistan where father/Husband died at early stage and left many daughters and wife behind him who then depend on others . If such family has son then he take responsibility for mother and sisters once father is gone

I have come across families with 4++ girls and then finally a boy and vice versa. And those families too where the only boy (amongst girls) left the parents after he got married and the daughters are taking turns in looking after the parents. And even those who never had a boy but a really loving son-in-law (s).

Point I'm making is that we do not know what the future will be like. So I'm inclined to say 'go with what Allah has chosen for you'. Bring up the daughters as best as you can and marry them in good families with strong values and principles. Leave the 'who will look after us in old age' part to Allah, He provides for all. But do save for old age to avoid financial dependency on children.
You have some valid points over there as we all should have faith in Allah and should have minimum expectation from creation of Allah even if they are our own children because you never know what future hold for us . You could be as lonely in old age as parent with no kids even if you have 5 kids but they all turn out to be selfish individuals who abandon their parents at the time of need

reminds me of the movie 'Bol'.
I have watched BOL so there is no comparison
Mullah in movie bol was against birth control so he kept producing girls even when he had no resources to support them while in here they love daughters and have all resources to give them better life but they also wish to have son as next children
 
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If I talk about my personal opinion then its not practically possible to look after your old parent if you don't live with them when they need you the most. If I am living in UK and they are living n Pakistan then all I could do is call/text/video chat which is not same as giving them helping hand and provide them all emotional and physical support which they need over there.

Dude you are very judgemental . I was also harsh on them initially but then I realized that its easy to bash others while its hard to give them suggestions to remove their fears of future. Its natural for parent to develop certain expectations from children and even if parent don't expect anything from children but still society and religion hold us accountable for not caring and looking after our old parent as they did look after us when we were helpless.

I am living in western society and I have seen that old parent waiting for death in old homes or in their flats and most of them feel so lonely because their children are busy in their own lives and give them visit just monthly or just on special occasion like xmas/easter/bank holiday so its not something ideal to copy from west. You also need to look at those families in Pakistan where father/Husband died at early stage and left many daughters and wife behind him who then depend on others . If such family has son then he take responsibility for mother and sisters once father is gone

Again you can always hire a caretaker and be there for them like a friend. The world does that, these people tend to be generally happier.
First of all, if someone develops a certain fear that he might be old and has no one to take care of, he should try to control that fear and that doesn't mean giving birth to kids and emotionally blackmailing them since childhood and make their life miserable. Someone who has a kid for the sole purpose that the kid will take care of them in old age, shouldn't be allowed to breed in the first place. Also society holds us accountable but we are the society and we need to change like the rest of the world. Also religion doesn't say that. In religion the limitations etc are pretty clear, people are making religion a tool for blackmailing. Religion also says not to interfere in your son or daughter's private lives and not to use them as tools, and separate their homes when they grow older. Yet i see society badmouthing when a son separates to a new home with his wife. Religion says "be good to your parents" not "be slaves to your parents".

I think people misjudge the western society alot. I love the concept of west or in KSA that whenever a child turns 18 they separate them to live their own lives. In this way the child has his own life, the parents have their own. "I gave birth to you and raised you now you live your life". i believe this is how it should be, once adults, they should live and support themselves, not stick to their parents like most Pakistanis do to the point even after marriage they are still hanging to their parents. Those parents aren't miserable. They are happy that they gave birth to someone and raised him or her and gave him his own life and now they can be happy together.

Again the husband dying thing is also a problem in Pakistan but how they cope with it is also a problem that needs to be resolved. Your son isn't your breadwinner, your daughter isn't your nurse. This problem wouldnt be huge if people didn't have bunch of kids straight after wedding without having a proper plan for them, or having saved money for their adulthood or education. This is a topic very close to me and since someone i know is going through this. But at the end of the day its their fault. Why have kids when you dont have the money or resources to leave for them? Women and children wouldn't have to depend on others if society gave them the rights, religion have them. Whenever someone divorces or dies, the significant other or kids are supposed to get the property or left over money but oh no not in Pakistan where if you are in joint family, you basically own nothing and can get kicked out, or if you have your own house, you can expect some far away relative to put a gun to your head and get your stuff. Oh and lets not forget that Government is supposed to pay kids and widows if the father dies and if woman remarries, kids are still supposed to get the money until 18 but God Forbid if our corrupt Govn did anything.

My mother taught me everything from basic house chores to actually going out and doing stuff for myself, including paying bills etc or go to another country alone which is quite rare for someone my age to know here in Pakistan. But she didn't do it just so i can make some old hag happy as her daughter in law. She did it because she doesn't know when she will die. She prepared me for the day she will die since i was 6, so i wouldn't have to suffer, or live a pathetic life like my dad. This only happens when you have a planned pregnancy. Not popping out 6-7 kids in hope for a different gender.


If you want a different gender kid, there is something called adoption. I can't fathom someone sitting down and saying "lets have a boy next" or "ima change his gender to female", thats disgusting. The issue of "ratio" wouldn't arise if people stick to having one or two kids instead of making an entire cricket team, and putting the state in crises, we have enough overpopulation crises.
The solution is in reforming the society, getting their rights and electing a better government, not changing the gender of your kid to make him or her miserable.
 
Who said baby girl is curse? You guys don't even read before jumping toward reply. You are suggesting that having desire for son after having many daughters is some sort of curse. The family whom i know personally love their daughters but want next child as boy. How this is equal to cursing girls when they already have three daughters and love them?
i mean to say that this thing will have negative impact on our society as we prefers baby boy over girls .i am not talking about ur relative specifically. let the nature do its work .
 
Again you can always hire a caretaker and be there for them like a friend. The world does that, these people tend to be generally happier.
First of all, if someone develops a certain fear that he might be old and has no one to take care of, he should try to control that fear and that doesn't mean giving birth to kids and emotionally blackmailing them since childhood and make their life miserable. Someone who has a kid for the sole purpose that the kid will take care of them in old age, shouldn't be allowed to breed in the first place. Also society holds us accountable but we are the society and we need to change like the rest of the world. Also religion doesn't say that. In religion the limitations etc are pretty clear, people are making religion a tool for blackmailing. Religion also says not to interfere in your son or daughter's private lives and not to use them as tools, and separate their homes when they grow older. Yet i see society badmouthing when a son separates to a new home with his wife. Religion says "be good to your parents" not "be slaves to your parents".

I think people misjudge the western society alot. I love the concept of west or in KSA that whenever a child turns 18 they separate them to live their own lives. In this way the child has his own life, the parents have their own. "I gave birth to you and raised you now you live your life". i believe this is how it should be, once adults, they should live and support themselves, not stick to their parents like most Pakistanis do to the point even after marriage they are still hanging to their parents. Those parents aren't miserable. They are happy that they gave birth to someone and raised him or her and gave him his own life and now they can be happy together.

Again the husband dying thing is also a problem in Pakistan but how they cope with it is also a problem that needs to be resolved. Your son isn't your breadwinner, your daughter isn't your nurse. This problem wouldnt be huge if people didn't have bunch of kids straight after wedding without having a proper plan for them, or having saved money for their adulthood or education. This is a topic very close to me and since someone i know is going through this. But at the end of the day its their fault. Why have kids when you dont have the money or resources to leave for them? Women and children wouldn't have to depend on others if society gave them the rights, religion have them. Whenever someone divorces or dies, the significant other or kids are supposed to get the property or left over money but oh no not in Pakistan where if you are in joint family, you basically own nothing and can get kicked out, or if you have your own house, you can expect some far away relative to put a gun to your head and get your stuff. Oh and lets not forget that Government is supposed to pay kids and widows if the father dies and if woman remarries, kids are still supposed to get the money until 18 but God Forbid if our corrupt Govn did anything.

My mother taught me everything from basic house chores to actually going out and doing stuff for myself, including paying bills etc or go to another country alone which is quite rare for someone my age to know here in Pakistan. But she didn't do it just so i can make some old hag happy as her daughter in law. She did it because she doesn't know when she will die. She prepared me for the day she will die since i was 6, so i wouldn't have to suffer, or live a pathetic life like my dad. This only happens when you have a planned pregnancy. Not popping out 6-7 kids in hope for a different gender.


If you want a different gender kid, there is something called adoption. I can't fathom someone sitting down and saying "lets have a boy next" or "ima change his gender to female", thats disgusting. The issue of "ratio" wouldn't arise if people stick to having one or two kids instead of making an entire cricket team, and putting the state in crises, we have enough overpopulation crises.
The solution is in reforming the society, getting their rights and electing a better government, not changing the gender of your kid to make him or her miserable.
How many girls in Pakistani society are economically or socially independents just like males ? Most girls cannot even go to school/college or for shopping without any male relative with them. We are talking about male dominated society of Pakistan. You are speaking about tiny minority while I am talking about vast majority .

We cannot force people to have just one or two kids of either gender and be content with it if they want more as its their personal choice. Similarly if some parent desire for son after having daughters or have desire for daughter after having sons then what is better option for them...going after this procedure to fulfil this desire or just keep bringing unwanted child of specific gender in hope of achieving their goal of family balancing ?

Let assume people have this desire of son or daughter without any expectation from them just for getting this feeling of being parent of boht daughters and sons then what will be your objection in this case?

i mean to say that this thing will have negative impact on our society as we prefers baby boy over girls .i am not talking about ur relative specifically. let the nature do its work .
Its not preference when you want children from boht gender. Preference is only if you want either girls or boys but if you want to have boht then it should not be labelled as curse or discrimination for any gender
 
How many girls in Pakistani society are economically or socially independents just like males ? Most girls cannot even go to school/college or for shopping without any male relative with them. We are talking about male dominated society of Pakistan. You are speaking about tiny minority while I am talking about vast majority .

We cannot force people to have just one or two kids of either gender and be content with it if they want more as its their personal choice. Similarly if some parent desire for son after having daughters or have desire for daughter after having sons then what is better option for them...going after this procedure to fulfil this desire or just keep bringing unwanted child of specific gender in hope of achieving their goal of family balancing ?

Let assume people have this desire of son or daughter without any expectation from them just for getting this feeling of being parent of boht daughters and sons then what will be your objection in this case?

Thats a social problem, people should raise girls to be strong and independent not cowards with daddy issues.

there is no such thing as "gender balance" when it comes to kids. You either have the amount of kids you can afford to raise or you don't have kids at all. End of the story. We all know how toxic Pakistan is, when it comes to gender roles. Again, you stick with what kids you have, who even cares about gender of the kid, this is why intersex people are treated like trash in Pakistan by their own parents as well. I'm against having so many kids in hope of having a different gender, but i'm also against "Choosing gender". You have a kid and you stick with it and raise it. Choosing gender is morally and ethically wrong. This should be limited to those areas who are suffering from population decrease due to wars or work etc.
I don't think Pakistan has any sort of Population extinction problem when majority has 3+ kids even when poor, heck poor people have generally more kids in hope of making them do child labour.

"Let assume people have this desire of son or daughter without any expectation from them just for getting this feeling of being parent of boht daughters and sons then what will be your objection in this case?"

Adoption.
 
Thats a social problem, people should raise girls to be strong and independent not cowards with daddy issues.

there is no such thing as "gender balance" when it comes to kids. You either have the amount of kids you can afford to raise or you don't have kids at all. End of the story. We all know how toxic Pakistan is, when it comes to gender roles. Again, you stick with what kids you have, who even cares about gender of the kid, this is why intersex people are treated like trash in Pakistan by their own parents as well. I'm against having so many kids in hope of having a different gender, but i'm also against "Choosing gender". You have a kid and you stick with it and raise it. Choosing gender is morally and ethically wrong. This should be limited to those areas who are suffering from population decrease due to wars or work etc.
I don't think Pakistan has any sort of Population extinction problem when majority has 3+ kids even when poor, heck poor people have generally more kids in hope of making them do child labour.

"Let assume people have this desire of son or daughter without any expectation from them just for getting this feeling of being parent of boht daughters and sons then what will be your objection in this case?"

Adoption.
Adoption has religious complication . If someone adopt girl in Pakistan then she will be na-mahram for adopted father. If someone adopt boy in Pakistan then he will be na-mahram for adopted mother and then issue of heritance etc
I personally think that selection of an embryo is better choice than having unwanted boy or girl who will not get this proper attention, care and love they deserve . Those who have this desire don't care about how others feel about it and this thinking or cultural preference will not change over night

[video]

[video]
 
Quite a disgusting debate really how about folks use a wrapper till they can afford a child

Child bearing and marrige is only for those who can afford it , in first place

Its not about making a Football Team
 
Adoption has religious complication . If someone adopt girl in Pakistan then she will be na-mahram for adopted father. If someone adopt boy in Pakistan then he will be na-mahram for adopted mother and then issue of heritance etc
I personally think that selection of an embryo is better choice than having unwanted boy or girl who will not get this proper attention, care and love they deserve . Those who have this desire don't care about how others feel about it and this thinking or cultural preference will not change over night

[video]

[video]
Not really, you are allowed to give your inheritance to your adopted child as long as you don't take away or interfere with the rights of your biological child.

"Non-mehram" isn't really an issue in our society when it comes to adoption, you are already supposed to separate kid's crib/bed at the age of few months, room when he/she is a toddler and house when they are adult.
As far as the issue goes, all they have to do is cover or dress modestly infront of the parents and most do that so yea not really a problem. Plenty of people adopt.


"having unwanted boy or girl who will not get this proper attention, care and love they deserve"

Not giving your child the proper attention, care and love they deserve because they are not the preferred gender? What makes you think these people are worthy of being parents in the first place?

"Those who have this desire don't care about how others feel about it and this thinking or cultural preference will not change over night"

Thats why I said the solution isn't changing the gender of your child, the culture and mindset needs to change. It will not change overnight but i have yet to see someone actually doing something or standing up to change it.
"choosing gender" is just a cowardly and pathetic easy way to opt out which is not acceptable.
 
@Manama did you watched the video and complex social issue relating to this topic in Pakistani society ?

I had heated debate over this issue. I was just putting the opinions of other side in here to carry the debate forward. I have seen that this family especially father love their daughters so much but still has desire for at least one son . My personal point of views is not any different than you or others except that I will prefer this in cases where some couple are desperate to have a kid of specific gender and it stop entry of many unwanted girls or boys because i have witnessed the births of 7/8 girls in many families in attempt of getting boy. If they had options to get two girls and one boy or two girls two boys then their family would be limited .
 
@Manama did you watched the video and complex social issue relating to this topic in Pakistani society ?

I had heated debate over this issue. I was just putting the opinions of other side in here to carry the debate forward. I have seen that this family especially father love their daughters so much but still has desire for at least one son . My personal point of views is not any different than you or others except that I will prefer this in cases where some couple are desperate to have a kid of specific gender and it stop entry of many unwanted girls or boys because i have witnessed the births of 7/8 girls in many families in attempt of getting boy. If they had options to get two girls and one boy or two girls two boys then their family would be limited .
Desire for a certain gender is normal, but you pray for that and if you don't get that, you be happy with what you have. Similarly how the woman in the video quoted about Prophet Zachriah a.s, YET there is the incident of the birth of Mary a.s along with that (as they were relatives), who was born a woman even though her mother wanted a boy, but she didn't treat her badly, she didn;t have 10 more kids in hope of a boy, she had a daughter and she was happy with her and she was rewarded with this daughter being the best woman on the planet, at a position higher than the wives of the Prophet s.a.w or his daughters.
Science exploration is a bad excuse, cloning is also a thing now but its forbidden.

"i have witnessed the births of 7/8 girls in many families in attempt of getting boy."

I have as well, doesn't change the fact that these people are pathetic, should look into the mirror and be ashamed of themselves.
Again, gender selection is a bad excuse for some people to be primitively dumb.

There are people with 1 daughter, 2 daughters. 1 son or two sons. If they didn't go full on stupid, the rest can too. Children aren't caretakers or retirement plan. Having a certain gender wish is also normal. But to the point that they might change the gender in womb or to the point that they rather have 10+ babies to treat as trash to get one diamond? These people don't need gender selection opportunity, or more kids. They need a psychologist appointment.

 
Desire for a certain gender is normal, but you pray for that and if you don't get that, you be happy with what you have. Similarly how the woman in the video quoted about Prophet Zachriah a.s, YET there is the incident of the birth of Mary a.s along with that (as they were relatives), who was born a woman even though her mother wanted a boy, but she didn't treat her badly, she didn;t have 10 more kids in hope of a boy, she had a daughter and she was happy with her and she was rewarded with this daughter being the best woman on the planet, at a position higher than the wives of the Prophet s.a.w or his daughters.
Science exploration is a bad excuse, cloning is also a thing now but its forbidden.

"i have witnessed the births of 7/8 girls in many families in attempt of getting boy."

I have as well, doesn't change the fact that these people are pathetic, should look into the mirror and be ashamed of themselves.
Again, gender selection is a bad excuse for some people to be primitively dumb.

There are people with 1 daughter, 2 daughters. 1 son or two sons. If they didn't go full on stupid, the rest can too. Children aren't caretakers or retirement plan. Having a certain gender wish is also normal. But to the point that they might change the gender in womb or to the point that they rather have 10+ babies to treat as trash to get one diamond? These people don't need gender selection opportunity, or more kids. They need a psychologist appointment.
Good luck for arranging psychologist for half of the population with same mindset :D We can only argue with such couples and cannot impose our views on them. I know that this family will be going to do what make them happy or content . I was trying to find Islamic perspective

http://en.islamtoday.net/artshow-416-2988.htm

A boy or a girl…

This is the question that has occupied the minds of expectant parents throughout the ages. Thanks to advances in technology, it has become possible with the simplest of medical examinations to know the gender of the child only a few months after conception. Now, after decades or research, science has brought a contentious matter before us – the real possibility of being able to choose the gender of your child before conception.

This is achieved by way of a surgically placed implant which is now widely available in the United States, Great Britain, and a number of other countries. No legislation has been enacted to restrict or regulate this procedure. Nevertheless, it has a heated debate world-wide.

Those who oppose this medical procedure argue that being able to choose the gender of one’s child has dangerous consequences for society as well as for families. It also creates a form of sexual discrimination. Some see it as a violation of Divine Law. Others see it as a way of custom ordering children, making the children some sort of salable commodity. Another danger is that the gender of the child might become a decisive factor for parents as to whether a child already conceived will be allowed to come to term.

Some authorities in the field of Biological Ethics say that couples who are overcome by a strong desire for a child of a particular gender can become quite rigid in their outlook when the possibility of determining the gender of the child is available to them. This makes matters all the worse when the operation fails and a child of the unwanted gender is conceived. This can affect how the parents treat that child. The operation itself is expensive and does not guarantee success. One in ten attempts to conceive a female child result in a male child being conceived while one in four attempts to conceive a male child result in a female child being conceived. The child, throughout its life, will have to live with the knowledge that it was unwanted.

Some experts believe that determining the gender of a child will create an imbalance in human populations and within the family unit itself.

On the other hand, those who advocate this procedure argue that if certain regulations are put in place, an imbalance of gender in the human population can easy be avoided. It would be as simple as requiring the registration of couples desiring children so that an equal number of operations will be authorized for couples desiring a girl child and couples desiring a boy child.

Some fertility experts argue that ethically, it is the right of an individual to exercise the freedom of choice in matters that have a major impact on his life as long as it does not cause any harm to the child.

Some go so far to argue that an operation to determine the gender of the child can even become obligatory in some cases to combat heritable diseases where gender plays a crucial role, like hemophilia and muscular dystrophy.

With respect to the position of Islamic Law on choosing the gender of one’s child, Sheikh Yûsuf al-Qaradâwî says the following in his official ruling on the matter: Initially, it would seem that the idea of choosing the gender of the fetus – whether it should be male or female – runs up against religious sensibilities. This is for two reasons:

First, knowledge of what is in the wombs is the domain of the creator, not that of created beings. Allah says: “Allah knows what each female bears, by how much the wombs fall short or extend beyond (their appointed time or number)…” [Sûrah al-Ra`d: 8]

Knowledge of what is in the wombs is one of the five keys of the unseen mentioned in the Qur’ân: “Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah. It is He who sends down the rain, and He who knows what is in the wombs…” [Sûrah Luqmân: 34]

So how can a human being know the gender of the fetus and make decisions about it?

Secondly, claiming to be able to make determinations about the gender of the fetus can seem like an attempt to presume against Allah’s will, for it is by Allah’s will that the two genders are distributed with wisdom and precision, with the balance being maintained for countless ages. This is even considered to be one of the evidences for Allah’s existence, His concern for his creatures, and His governance of His dominion.

Allah says: “To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the Earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows male or female (children) according to His will.Or He bestows both males and females, nd leaves barren whom he will. For He is full of knowledge and power.” [Sûrah al-Shûrâ: 49-50]

Al-Qaradâwî then goes on to say: Why, however, do they not explain “knowledge of what is in the wombs” with particular knowledge of all that relates to the fetus. Allah knows, for instance, whether it will live or die. If it is delivered alive, will it be intelligent or feebleminded? Weak or strong? Prosperous or wretched? As for us humans, the most we can determine is whether it is going to be a boy or a girl.

In the same way we can describe the activities of the human being with respect to choosing the gender of the child. Those human activities do not fall outside the domain of Allah’s wills. Quite the contrary, they are an example of His will being carried out. Everything that a human being does takes place by Allah’s power and determination. Whatever a human being wills, he does so by Allah’s will. Allah says: “And they do not will except that He wills.”Al-Qaradâwî then makes it clear that Islamic Law could permit a medical procedure for the determining the gender of the child. However, it must only be a concession to be resorted to in cases of necessity or need. What is safer and better is to leave the matter to Allah’s discretion and wisdom. “And your Lord creates what He wills and chooses. They have no option.” And Allah knows best.

The Islamic Law Council of the Muslim World League arrived at the following ruling: If the intended purpose is to acquire a male child out of dislike for a female child or if the intent is to know the gender of the embryo in order to abort it, then this is impermissible. If, on the other hand, if the intent is to predetermine the gender of the embryo from the start in a situation where there is a history of heritable illness in the family, especially those illnesses that are passes along with the sex chromosomes, then this is possible. It is best to avoid resorting to this method except in the most extenuating of circumstances.

Dr. Muhammad Ra’fat `Uthman, speaking on behalf of the Islamic Legal Research Committee of the Islamic Research Council of Azhar University, pronounced the ruling that it is permissible to utilize genetic engineering technologies in order to choose the gender of the fetus. He emphasized that choosing the gender of the fetus is permissible in Islamic Law because it is an activity that falls within the domain of what is permissible, since there is no evidence from the Qur’ân or Sunnah to prohibit it. The legal axiom governing the matter is that the default ruling assumed for something is that it is permissible except where prohibition is stated by Islamic Law.

He said: “It is by unanimous agreement (ijmâ`) that it is permissible to supplicate to Allah asking Him to bless one with a male or female child. Everything that it is permitted to ask Allah for, it is permitted for a person to do. Whatever it is prohibited for a person to do, it is prohibited likewise for him to supplicate for.”
 
Good luck for arranging psychologist for half of the population with same mindset :D We can only argue with such couples and cannot impose our views on them. I know that this family will be going to do what make them happy or content . I was trying to find Islamic perspective

http://en.islamtoday.net/artshow-416-2988.htm

A boy or a girl…

This is the question that has occupied the minds of expectant parents throughout the ages. Thanks to advances in technology, it has become possible with the simplest of medical examinations to know the gender of the child only a few months after conception. Now, after decades or research, science has brought a contentious matter before us – the real possibility of being able to choose the gender of your child before conception.

This is achieved by way of a surgically placed implant which is now widely available in the United States, Great Britain, and a number of other countries. No legislation has been enacted to restrict or regulate this procedure. Nevertheless, it has a heated debate world-wide.

Those who oppose this medical procedure argue that being able to choose the gender of one’s child has dangerous consequences for society as well as for families. It also creates a form of sexual discrimination. Some see it as a violation of Divine Law. Others see it as a way of custom ordering children, making the children some sort of salable commodity. Another danger is that the gender of the child might become a decisive factor for parents as to whether a child already conceived will be allowed to come to term.

Some authorities in the field of Biological Ethics say that couples who are overcome by a strong desire for a child of a particular gender can become quite rigid in their outlook when the possibility of determining the gender of the child is available to them. This makes matters all the worse when the operation fails and a child of the unwanted gender is conceived. This can affect how the parents treat that child. The operation itself is expensive and does not guarantee success. One in ten attempts to conceive a female child result in a male child being conceived while one in four attempts to conceive a male child result in a female child being conceived. The child, throughout its life, will have to live with the knowledge that it was unwanted.

Some experts believe that determining the gender of a child will create an imbalance in human populations and within the family unit itself.

On the other hand, those who advocate this procedure argue that if certain regulations are put in place, an imbalance of gender in the human population can easy be avoided. It would be as simple as requiring the registration of couples desiring children so that an equal number of operations will be authorized for couples desiring a girl child and couples desiring a boy child.

Some fertility experts argue that ethically, it is the right of an individual to exercise the freedom of choice in matters that have a major impact on his life as long as it does not cause any harm to the child.

Some go so far to argue that an operation to determine the gender of the child can even become obligatory in some cases to combat heritable diseases where gender plays a crucial role, like hemophilia and muscular dystrophy.

With respect to the position of Islamic Law on choosing the gender of one’s child, Sheikh Yûsuf al-Qaradâwî says the following in his official ruling on the matter: Initially, it would seem that the idea of choosing the gender of the fetus – whether it should be male or female – runs up against religious sensibilities. This is for two reasons:

First, knowledge of what is in the wombs is the domain of the creator, not that of created beings. Allah says: “Allah knows what each female bears, by how much the wombs fall short or extend beyond (their appointed time or number)…” [Sûrah al-Ra`d: 8]

Knowledge of what is in the wombs is one of the five keys of the unseen mentioned in the Qur’ân: “Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah. It is He who sends down the rain, and He who knows what is in the wombs…” [Sûrah Luqmân: 34]

So how can a human being know the gender of the fetus and make decisions about it?

Secondly, claiming to be able to make determinations about the gender of the fetus can seem like an attempt to presume against Allah’s will, for it is by Allah’s will that the two genders are distributed with wisdom and precision, with the balance being maintained for countless ages. This is even considered to be one of the evidences for Allah’s existence, His concern for his creatures, and His governance of His dominion.

Allah says: “To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the Earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows male or female (children) according to His will.Or He bestows both males and females, nd leaves barren whom he will. For He is full of knowledge and power.” [Sûrah al-Shûrâ: 49-50]

Al-Qaradâwî then goes on to say: Why, however, do they not explain “knowledge of what is in the wombs” with particular knowledge of all that relates to the fetus. Allah knows, for instance, whether it will live or die. If it is delivered alive, will it be intelligent or feebleminded? Weak or strong? Prosperous or wretched? As for us humans, the most we can determine is whether it is going to be a boy or a girl.

In the same way we can describe the activities of the human being with respect to choosing the gender of the child. Those human activities do not fall outside the domain of Allah’s wills. Quite the contrary, they are an example of His will being carried out. Everything that a human being does takes place by Allah’s power and determination. Whatever a human being wills, he does so by Allah’s will. Allah says: “And they do not will except that He wills.”Al-Qaradâwî then makes it clear that Islamic Law could permit a medical procedure for the determining the gender of the child. However, it must only be a concession to be resorted to in cases of necessity or need. What is safer and better is to leave the matter to Allah’s discretion and wisdom. “And your Lord creates what He wills and chooses. They have no option.” And Allah knows best.

The Islamic Law Council of the Muslim World League arrived at the following ruling: If the intended purpose is to acquire a male child out of dislike for a female child or if the intent is to know the gender of the embryo in order to abort it, then this is impermissible. If, on the other hand, if the intent is to predetermine the gender of the embryo from the start in a situation where there is a history of heritable illness in the family, especially those illnesses that are passes along with the sex chromosomes, then this is possible. It is best to avoid resorting to this method except in the most extenuating of circumstances.

Dr. Muhammad Ra’fat `Uthman, speaking on behalf of the Islamic Legal Research Committee of the Islamic Research Council of Azhar University, pronounced the ruling that it is permissible to utilize genetic engineering technologies in order to choose the gender of the fetus. He emphasized that choosing the gender of the fetus is permissible in Islamic Law because it is an activity that falls within the domain of what is permissible, since there is no evidence from the Qur’ân or Sunnah to prohibit it. The legal axiom governing the matter is that the default ruling assumed for something is that it is permissible except where prohibition is stated by Islamic Law.

He said: “It is by unanimous agreement (ijmâ`) that it is permissible to supplicate to Allah asking Him to bless one with a male or female child. Everything that it is permitted to ask Allah for, it is permitted for a person to do. Whatever it is prohibited for a person to do, it is prohibited likewise for him to supplicate for.”

First, knowledge of what is in the wombs is the domain of the creator, not that of created beings. Allah says: “Allah knows what each female bears, by how much the wombs fall short or extend beyond (their appointed time or number)…” [Sûrah al-Ra`d: 8]

Knowledge of what is in the wombs is one of the five keys of the unseen mentioned in the Qur’ân: “Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah. It is He who sends down the rain, and He who knows what is in the wombs…” [Sûrah Luqmân: 34]


The above verses do not mean gender of the kid, its easy to tell the gender of the baby in the womb, its talking about whether the child will be good or bad or who will be as a person. From his name to his life to whether he'll be in paradise or hell. It has nothing to do with gender. People need to stop misinterpreting the verses.

Note that even though i'm against "Gender choosing", i don't mind if some dying race does it. But when a toxic mentality people, with a discriminatory culture does it, there is a huge issue.
Gender selection is an excuse used by bunch of people here so they can have a retirement plan (son), or shove their misogyny down kid's throat. Or use an excuse to be shtty parents. These people shouldn't be parents in the first place.
 
Women are the backbone of mankind. Without women, there is no civilization to begin with.

Besides, parents who raise daughters will be blessed in Jannah. Raising sons? That is meant for earthly world [insurance for parents' old age].
 
here is some help from Indian textbook :P

Ayurveda textbook shocker: How to conceive a boy

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HIGHLIGHTS

  1. Maharashtra University's Bachelor of Ayurveda, Medicine, and Surgery textbooks are teaching techniques to conceive a male child.
  2. The current BAMS syllabus textbook has been copied from Charaka Samhita which shares recipes to create a male foetus

Want a baby boy? Collect two north facing branches of a Banyan tree (east facing will also suffice) that has grown in a stable, take precisely two grains of urad dal mustard seeds, grind all the ingredients with curd, and consume the mixture.This recipe is not some self-styled godman's prescription to fool gullible couples. It's part of the third-year Bachelor of Ayurveda, Medicine, and Surgery (BAMS) textbook that informs students on techniques to conceive a boy.

The text has been copied from Charaka Samhita, the pre-2nd Century CE compilation on Ayurveda, which is included in the current BAMS syllabus. According to the textbook, the process of creating a male foetus is called `pusanvan', and any woman who desires a boy should be "blessed with the pusanvan ritual" as soon as she gets pregnant.

The textbook lists various techniques to ensure the birth of a boy. One such technique is rather expensive. It says: "Create two miniature statues of a man out of gold, silver, or iron after throwing the statues in a furnace. Pour that molten element in milk, curd or water, and on an auspicious hour of Pushp Nakshatra, consume it."

The BAMS syllabus in the state is supervised by the Maharashtra University of Health Sciences (MUHS) in Nashik, and Dr Dilip Mhaisekar, former dean of the Dr Shankarrao Chavan Government Medical College in Nanded, is the vice-chancellor.

Objection to the textbook's contents were recently raised by Ganesh Borhade, a member of the district supervisory board of the PreConception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques (PCPNDT) Act, who is also associated with the Lek Ladki Abhiyan supervised by advocate Varsha Deshpande.

"Doctors with BAMS degrees have a thriving practice not just in rural areas, but also in cities such as Mumbai, Pune, and Nashik. Many people shun allopathy in favour of Ayurveda, and if this is what medical students are being taught, God help this society," Borhade said.

He brought the textbook content to the notice of the PCPNDT Act authorities in the state, but it is unlikely that such content will be removed from the textbooks in the coming academic year.

Dr Asaram Khade, the Maharashtra PCPNDT Act consultant, told Mumbai Mirror that a letter has already been issued to the joint secretary, public health, Government of India regarding the syllabus in violation of the PCPNDT Act, even as Borhade warned that the Centre had less than a month to act. "The academic year starts in July, and such content supports female foeticide+ ," he said.

Borhade pointed out a part of the content in the textbook, which he said had no scientific backing whatsoever. The portion of the content said, "Cook rice flour with water, and while cooking, the woman should inhale the steam. Then add water to the cooked flour, and soak a ball of cotton in it. The woman should lie on the threshold so that her head touches the ground. Then, with that cotton ball, the liquid should be poured in her nostrils. It should not be spit out, instead it should be swallowed."
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Read this story in Kannada




MUHS Vice-Chancellor Dr Mhaisekar said the BAMS curriculum was decided by the Ministry of Ayurveda, Yoga and Naturopathy, Unani, Siddha, and Homoeopathy (AYUSH), and that he had written to the ministry regarding the objectionable content.




"We are awaiting a reply from the ministry," Mhaisekar told Mumbai Mirror yesterday. "The MUHS doesn't have the right to add or delete from the syllabus. There are seven members from Maharashtra in the Central Council of Ayurveda and all of them are aware of this content," he said.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/...other-gender-lessons/articleshow/58571447.cms




 
here is some help from Indian textbook
lol yea Kamasutra matlab kum saaf sutra aur desi toutkey which are nothing but just superstitions try karne k baad he couple medical doctor ki trafa bhgatey hain as last resort

Women are the backbone of mankind. Without women, there is no civilization to begin with.

Besides, parents who raise daughters will be blessed in Jannah. Raising sons? That is meant for earthly world [insurance for parents' old age].
Civilization began with Baba adam
many desi parent assume that raising sons is much easier and so is finding suitable rishta for them
 

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