Being Born a Pakistani is Very Hard for Pakistanis living in USA! :(

[Ghareeb_Da_Baal]

I don't think that species exists

Keep reading your news outlets..............

 

[President Camacho]

My parents are really conservative Pakistani parents, but I love them and they are really nice hardworking people. They will want me to have an arranged marriage with someone from Pakistan. I was raised in USA and I don't think I will want to marry anyone from Pakistan since I'm a really open minded person and would consider anyone from any country and also because I'm not Muslim and don't follow Islam.

I will probably end up marrying someone of a different country other than Pakistan. I can't even date because my parents are so conservative.

I know if my parents ever find out I want to marry someone outside of Pakistan, it will be hard for them to accept. Not to mention if they find out I don't believe in Islam that would cause a lot of emotional pain to them. I really feel sad.

Maybe not marrying at all is the best choice for me if I don't want to hurt my parents.

Before you read this, please do keep in mind that I am just a guy online that you can not count on.

When you say your parents are conservative 'but' you love them, you make it sound as if conservative people are not to be loved. It is neither a wrong, nor a sin to be conservative. Love them for the love they hold for you.

I know quite a few people (number goes 20+) that have shared a position similar to yours. And my observation says, chances are strong it will turn into a disaster if you marry a person born and brought up in Pakistan (will be a nightmare if you are a girl). After all, your not being a Muslim will be exposed to your spouse, and then to your parents.

But times change. Only you can help your parents understand that your happiness does not depend on a spouse from a specific country or religion. You can use this topic as subject of talks with your parents and assess their seriousness on the issue. I am sure you will not have a problem in finding examples to prove your point that such marriages between people with different backgrounds have made their lives miserable.

It does not look so easy, but I have seen many people do that for their own good.

As a starter, tell them its better to delay the marriage plans for this/that reason ('career' works best).

 

[Kyusuibu Honbu]

I don't think that species exists

They do , you ask Tariq Ali about it (He is married to one such)

 

[Chinese-Dragon]

Iota, how about this. What would be your ideal marriage partner?

You don't want to marry a girl from Pakistan... is that for religious reasons, cultural reasons, language reasons, social reasons, etc?

 

[President Camacho]

Lota, how about this. What would be your ideal marriage partner?

You don't want to marry a girl from Pakistan, is that for religious reasons, cultural reasons, language reasons, social reasons, etc?

lmfao

hahahaha He is I O T A = iota, not Lota

 

[Chinese-Dragon]

lmfao

hahahaha He is I O T A = iota, not Lota

Yeah, I thought that sounded weird.

 

[Iota]

Not marrying at all is an option provided you really do not want to marry. However if you chose not to marry simply because you do not want to hurt your parents than you are wrong. Like all parents they would like & look forward to their child getting married - you'll hurt them even more.

Why are you scared to speak with them ? .. and how long a can you avoid it ?

Nothing wrong with arranged marriages ( even though I did not have one ) after all your parents had one .

Still, should you feel strongly about what you have written above the answer is to bite the bullet - speak up. Parents are not enemies.

Half our lives are spent in wondering if we should or should not do something , the other half is spent is why we didn't.

I understand what you are saying, and you made some good points but it's just hard to tell my parents. I will have to tell them, but I guess it will happen when I'm ready for marriage which I'm not right now. My parents weren't really happy when I told them I don't want to marry my first cousin and they told me they regretted raising me and my siblings in USA but now they've moved past that and told me they would let me marry anyone from Pakistan.

 

[Juice]

Well if it's an arranged marriage then the girl will be a Muslim and I'm not a Muslim so we wouldn't be allowed to marry anyway since Islam doesn't allow it.

How are your parents allowing you to even date at all? Are they Muslim? Just wondering how one could possibly justify it Islamically. You're lucky that your parents are really liberal.

No, not Muslim. Remember, I said westerner (By wich I meant "white"). Sorry, probably shouldn't have posted as I probably don't understand the full situation. Just trying to help.

(Ps...not a question of my parents allowing it these days, I'm older, and am a secular humanist or agnostic also, as are my parents.)

 

[TOPGUN]

Beta ji.he is not a muslim. re-read his post.
He is just super confused & probably also still exploring his sexual leanings..............just sayin.

Jee lala jee i just noticed late night here boss lolz.. sorry my mistake then i take my words back just read and saw he is not muslim let him explore lolz.

 

[Ghareeb_Da_Baal]

lmfao

hahahaha He is I O T A = iota, not Lota

He actually made a typo. It is Lota ........

 

[President Camacho]

Yeah, I thought that sounded weird.

lol Normally I don't bother pointing it out, but it sounded so funny because it means a vessel, and often used as part of jokes in India.


Lota -

He actually made a typo. It is Lota ........

Not really, I checked his ID the moment I saw his post the first time. And it is iota. Copy his ID, type "define:" in google, paste his ID there and press Enter. You will know. Or better, paste his ID in Times New Roman fonts, again you will know.

 

[Chinese-Dragon]

lol Normally I don't bother pointing it out, but it sounded so funny because it means a vessel, and often used as part of jokes in India.


Lota -

LOL, I had no idea. I guess I was confused because of this:

Dear Lota (Funny name!)

I'm sure the OP can clarify it though. "Iota" makes more sense.

 

[Ghareeb_Da_Baal]

lol Normally I don't bother pointing it out, but it sounded so funny because it means a vessel, and often used as part of jokes in India.
Lota -

Can you post a picture of a pakistani Lota?

 

[Chinese-Dragon]

What is a Lota anyway?

 

[Awesome]

Which part of Pakistan do you come from?

If its just the backwardness of a Pakistani girl and you're open to arranged marriage, then dude, Pakistan has all sorts of people. You can also hook up with a Pakistani girl of your own choice and it should be cool with your folks. Might require some internet prowling

... You're a dude right?

Just saying that we've all managed to find someone from Pakistan who was cool to hang out with, beautiful, smart and educated, not lame, not backward, not a challenge to the 'open' lifestyle (what does it mean anyway, if its open marriage you'd find 90% of the women anywhere unwilling to go along with that). So deep deep down your problems are something else or you're just ignorant about Pakistani girls.

Usually (like almost a rule) parents want the best for their children and will accommodate your own personal requirements granted you put them forth in a rational way and not go on a rebel binge.