10 ways to become a true Karachi hipster

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10 ways to become a true Karachi hipster

Hate 'em or love 'em, but you simply cannot ignore them.

KARACHI: Being a Karachiite just doesn’t cut it anymore. Merely living in the ‘posh’ areas of Karachi isn’t enough either. You need to know howto fit into Karachi’s crème de la crème.

Things have changed. Yesterday’s ‘burgers’ are today’s ‘hipsters’. You may either hate them, or love them, but you simply cannot ignore them.

Here are 10 ways you can become an eligible Karachi hipster if you’re interested in that kind of thing (you know who you are):

PHOTO: TUMBLR

1. Dhabba only Chai walla

Dhabbas are the newest craze to have taken over Defence. Almost every street on every khayaban has a chai dhabba and yet, you still struggle to find a place to sit.

PHOTO: SUNDAYTIMES

You need to be well prepared to sit at these dhabas for as long as your behind can survive and also keep in mind that the dhaba needs to be the best one out there. Play trump, ludo or order food and chai, but you’ve got to keep sitting in the name of burgerism.

2. Beach, please!

Beach every Sunday is a must (sorry Lahoris). And not our public Sea View if you all are wondering; the beach has to be French.

You need to be ready to make these regular trips to the beach with the same level of excitement you had the first time you stepped onto the sandy shores.

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3. We don’t hang out, we ‘GT’

These are literally just ‘get togethers’, but calling them ‘GTs’ adds a cool ring to it. Don’t mistake them for parties; parties are a separate entity in Karachi. GTs are just chilled out nights with a few fellow hipsters.

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Maybe not that chilled out..

Being at this event is a social obligation that every defence wala must keep up with. But being invited to a couple of them a week, now that’s a defence wala signature move.

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Some attend these to have a good time, others just like bragging about how many ‘Gts’ they went to in one night.

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4. Lang is too slang

Yo, what scene? Dtc?

Nah fam, scene is off. Have to go to the other side of the bridge with the ‘rents. FML. Let’s chill later?

Down.

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They are always short on time when it comes to messaging; they make sure the conversation is short and to the point. It’s likely their parents won’t understand a word if they go through it because let’s face it — they aren’t cool enough.

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5. Formality ke dinners

If you are a typical Karachi ‘cool’ kid, you will know that to maintain the social circle you have: you need to have zero appetite but a lot of cash flow in your wallet.

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These people like going to posh restaurants and spending thousands of rupees on food which doesn’t even fill them up. And let’s not lie, after these very expensive dinners, when reality really hits them, they all go home and order kebab rolls .

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6. 100% branded

The cap, shirt, jeans, jacket, watch, socks, shoes and whatever there is that a human wears, has to be branded. Not quite sure if they are even fashion fiends or they just like the brand’s name.

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And when you ask them how much a pair of jeans is for in Karachi’s very own Zainab Market, this is how they reply:

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For the smokers, cigarettes need to be as imported as they can be as well as the lighter. It’s all about clippers and zippos.

PHOTO: TUMBLR

7. Gym Seflie .............Boot camp ......42 Day Challenge

Going to the gym may not always mean that these individuals want to stay fit and healthy. Some like paying a huge sum for a 42 day boot camp, and usually end up going just four days.

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Now, there are many dedicated health freaks out there but it just comes down to who takes the best selfie at the gym.

So, let the selfie games begin..

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Some think they’re the next JB.

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Too bad their gym instructors don’t give extra lessons on how to take a selfie.

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Well there’s no need for so many selfies, just work out.

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8. Shendi ..Marti ..Shalima

They haven’t left traditional events such as mehdis and shaadis either.They have to have that cool factor touch it seems. We don’t know if its an effort to be different from the rest or simply to look ‘cool’, but it’s definitely working.

Nowadays, a mehdi needs to be a party. Events like shaadi and valimaneed to happen on the same day, get done with the boring stuff at once.

Let’s just hope there are no more alterations…

PHOTO: GIFFSEC

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9. Public transport is a straight no

They will miss important events if they don’t have a ride but it will be against their being if they use our beloved public transport. Rickshaws and buses are only used for entertainment purposes, like at mehndis for the groom’s entrance or when you need to make a grand entry on the last day of school.

Whatever the reason may be, using rickshaws and buses is a cultural experience everyone should have. You see life from a completely different perspective and it’s always cool to know what routes Z-2 and X-10 take.

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Just don’t dress up the way you usually do, you will creep everyone out. Or maybe the other way around.

Pakistan’s top six damsels always in distress

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10. Bun kebabs? They’re called burgers.

They don’t go out to bun kebab joints when they feel hungry; they prefer ordering in from famous fast food hubs. What’s a bun kebab?

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But the trick is simple. Change the name from anday wala burger to egg and cheese burger or omwich, and the burgers of khi will forget about their fast food joints.

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Till then, they prefer what they are known as:

“Burgers” — be it, live it, eat it, love it.

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Being a burger is not so bad, it’s just the way people react when you admit you’re a burger.

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Well, their habits and interests may be a little different but the distinction needs to stop. We all are Karachiites and Pakistanis at the end of the day, one nation, one country, one family. I mean, fam.