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Throughout our 26-years marriage, I knew that he would be a shaheed, I expected it every day when he left home. He always led from the front, willing to lay his life for the country, if that’s what was needed. I understood and mirrored his sentiments. Without the support of his wife an officer cannot serve his country to the fullest and so I did my duty to my country and husband by making sure that Sarfraz knew he always had my support.”
– Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed
August 1, 2022 dawned on Orchard House just like any other day. The lady of the house, Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali, prepared breakfast herself so that her husband could go about his immensely important day on a full, satisfied stomach. When he was ready to leave, she saw him out and then went on about her morning. The day dragged on as she did her usual chores and fulfilled commitments. As the afternoon drew in, she started feeling a bit pulled down; she didn’t mull attributing it to the post-wedding weariness, after all it had merely been a week since their beloved daughter Zainab’s wedding to Capt Shehryar Umar. It was just as she was idling with these thoughts that the phone rang.
It was her brother. After the usual pleasantries and quickly asking after her, he asked about her son Capt Ahmad Sarfraz and her husband, Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali. There was a sort of probing inquisitiveness in the way he asked about them. She replied to his inquiries and after a short conversation hung up the phone. But it was then that the oddity of the call hit her. Her brother was always quite busy with his professional commitments and wouldn’t call her for long periods on end, certainly not so soon after he had just seen her at the wedding, so for him to call her in the middle of the day was certainly unexpected. And why was he asking repeatedly about her son and husband? She decided to call him back. The second call that may as well have lasted an eternity gave her the news that was disquieting, to say the least, given who was receiving it. He told her that the Cessna that was flying her husband and their son (also his Staff Officer), to the flood-ravaged areas of Balochistan had gone missing.
This is not news that a devoted wife and doting mother would absorb with any measure of calm, but then Arifa Sarfraz is no ordinary woman. This is a woman who was born to a warrior, was married to one, had raised one, and helping prepare her younger son to become one. Valor, fortitude and a strong sense of duty to the country runs through her veins. So, on receiving such perturbing news, her optimism and strong faith in the will of Allah coalesced and gave her unyielding courage. As a military wife, more specifically as Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali’s wife, this was not her first brush off with such news. Her husband had served in hard areas many times throughout his career that had spanned a good 33 years or so, 26 of which he had spent with her. He was a decorated officer having earned Tamgha-e-Basalat (Tbt) twice for his bravery (he had said that one of his TBts belonged to his dear Arifa because she was so brave and encouraging); needless to say, he had had his run in with death before, and so a missing plane was not as dire a news for her as it potentially is. Maybe, it went off radar because of some technical reason. So she hoped. And she prayed.
By evening, things began looking bleaker. By now it was confirmed that it was not the plane but the helicopter that was carrying Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali along with senior officers and the flight staff had gone missing near Lasbela (thankfully, Capt Ahmad was not on board). The weather, however, was making the search and rescue difficult. Meanwhile, Mrs Arifa kept hope alive: “There was hope in my heart. I was visualizing how it have been, the malfunctioning heli landing because of the bad weather and Sarfraz sitting there cross-legged on a big rock, nonchalant, waiting to be rescued. I was continuously praying; my heart was anxious but there was hope that it cannot be (worse than that).
“I had a feeling about his shahadat. I was prepared for it because of the life that we had lived and I had the realization that when it’s time for you to go then it is time for you to go. And he also believed the same. But as long as there was no confirmation, there was hope.“
I had told the guard at the gate not to let any car through without my authorization because I dreaded the moment some officer would come in and confirm what my heart already knew but was not willing to hear coming from anyone’s lips giving it finality. I just thought that if I won’t let anyone come and give the news, it would somehow not come to be. I sometimes still can’t believe it and imagine what it would be like if he just walked in through the door.”
Evening turned into night, night into morning, and morning into midday before the news of the fatal crash was confirmed a little after 1 o’clock. But through those unending anxious hours, Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali kept herself together, for herself, her children, and her husband. She knew that what was imminent at that point would need her to be strong; she had known her whole life that no officer can do his job the way it is meant to be done unless he has the full support of his wife. And, that meant that in times like these she had to be able to take charge. Her husband, Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali, had always believed that his wife could do anything, so how could she let him down in that hardest of situations.
Where had this courage come from? Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed attributes this strength to various factors. First and foremost, she believes that just as Allah had chosen her husband for the great honor of shahadat, He must’ve seen something in her as well to honor her this way. She believes strongly that this strength flows through her because of the immense aid that Allah provides to a shaheed’s wife: “Allah gives courage. When someone says to me, ‘Ap mein bohat hosla hai’ I tell them that it is Allah; I can’t even breathe on my own accord, how can I endure without His aid. Allah must’ve known that if He put me in this situation, I would be able to bear it.”
In addition to this, she believes that her parents brought her up in a way that gave her the confidence that she could brave through anything. She also thinks that she inherited her steely attitude from her father, Maj Gen (Retd) Muhammad Arshad Chaudhary. “My father was famous for being an ironman. And I have his genes. He was a very gentle father but very encouraging and gave me a lot of confidence in myself.
“Sarfraz was a ghazi and life with him had toughened me up. I feel that shuhada are special people and they prepare their wives whether they have lived together for months or years. The young wife of one of the soldiers who embraced shahadat with Sarfraz said to me, ‘Mudaasar kehtay hain mein, mera heli, aur mera Pakistan. Mein issi heli pe shaheed honga’, and that resonates with me. Those were the exact same sentiments Sarfraz had.
“This understanding and the quiet strength I have inherited from my father helped me to never worry. I think after Sarfraz’s shahadat all that strength and energy just filled me up, and what I had learnt when I was with Sarfraz made it that much easier for me to deal with things.”
She goes on to say that one of the biggest things that gives her peace is the fact that Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed wanted to go from this world a shaheed when his time came, and Allah gave him his greatest wish; how could she not be satisfied with that: “Everyone has to go, but to leave this world a Shaheed is incomparable. He didn’t want to die behind a desk or in a hospital bed. He wanted to die in the field serving his country. It was his heart’s desire and Allah gave it to him. How can I mourn over that? I’m grateful that he got what he wanted. It did not suit an officer who had earned not one but two Tbts for his bravery to go any way other than as a shaheed; less than that was certainly not desirable. He went at his high point with the greatest of honors. That brings me peace.”
She says that for as long as they had been married, he had wanted shahadat if that was what the motherland needed. She recalls: “His desire was so intense that just last year, on the 21st of Ramadan, he said to me that he wondered what Allah didn’t like in him that he was not being granted his wish. With that he asked me to pray that he would embrace shahadat.”
Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed has been a very hands-on mother to her three children, especially because she is an Army officer’s wife and more importantly because her husband believed in giving his all to the motherland, and so he needed his wife to hold the home front. And since Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed had seen what was required of an officer’s wife in her parent’s household and then in her own as well, she stepped into the role with a deep sense of duty to her husband, her children and to her country: “I always tried my best that he should not feel any stress ever because of me or the children so that he could give his hundred percent at his job. This is also the reason I never took up any career, because I took on all the responsibility of the house and kids.” And thus it happened that when her husband embraced shahadat, one of the reasons she knew she could not break down was so she could shield her children as much as possible from the trauma of the earthshattering event that had taken place in their lives.
Life with him was like living in Paradise for Mrs Arifa Sarfraz. Her whole world was her husband and children. She feels that she has lived a full life and has a trove of memories to cherish: “There are so many memories, everything around me brings back memories. I have been a very lucky woman. He was always so committed that even when sitting with family he was working, but I understood that and so the little time that we had to ourselves felt heavenly. Being with him at the end of the day, enjoying our cup of tea or a meal that I cooked for him was all that mattered: the little things. I used to thank Allah every day that at least he returned home to us every night. He felt the same way. He used to say that I must be bothered that we didn’t vacation but for me wherever I was with him felt like a vacation, so I never complained.
“I am just so grateful to Allah that we got to spend 26 beautiful years together, full of love and laughter. It doesn’t matter that we didn’t spend more time than we did because what we had together was something most people would envy.”
Despite the ordinary ups and downs that are there in any marriage, there was immense understanding, love and support. She affirms this, saying, “I’ve seen extreme love, the kind that’s very rare. And now that he has become immortal, the bond has become stronger if anything.”
Life since August 1, 2022, has been ‘different’ for Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed; it is the same and yet elementally different. She feels that people think she is alone not realizing that she is neither alone nor lonely. For one she has Allah and her family, and for another she feels the presence of her husband around her: “He’s a Shaheed and Allah has declared a shaheed alive, only people don’t have the consciousness. But I do, he’s around all the time.”
She goes on to say, “People expect you to behave and even show your emotions in a certain way, like a damsel in distress. In a male dominant society, they consider you to be alone after your husband, and they have to be told that I’m not alone. I feel his presence all the time, even when I lose myself in something, Allah reminds me he’s with me. For the world he’s left us but I have him with me even now, more so than before.”
“I feel that if Allah was with us before at a certain level, His aid is there infinitely more now. There are times every day when I’m down in the dumps but then Allah reminds me that He is with me. Allah gave him shahadat and He reminds me that I am a shaheed’s wife. Allah is the one, the only one. I strongly believe that Allah knows best and he must’ve seen something in me to decide that this was the life for me but ultimately, Allah is the wali and sustainer of a widow and orphans; I’m the widow of a shaheed and these are kids of a shaheed. I’m just very grateful to Allah. All I want is that my children and I lead our lives in a manner that is an homage to the legacy of my shaheed husband.”
Where before, she was ever so busy with the house and the children alongside a host of responsibilities and commitments as Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali, now as the wife of Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed, her life has taken on a more nuanced meaning. All the things she did before, she still does but now she has to steer it all herself, all the time making sure that this is what her husband would have wanted. She says: “People think I don’t have anything left to do in my life now, whereas, the truth is that I’m still as busy as ever because I held the fort at home when he was walking among us and now that he’s in the other world looking over us, I still do all that, and more, because now I have additional responsibilities.”
She believes that now the responsibility of being a parent is squarely on her shoulders, she strives to protect her children from the problems she faces because she feels that their father’s shahadat is enough for them to deal with. She wants them to excel in life and not be concerned with burdens that she could carry for them. However, she feels it is important that she shares with them how she manages it all so they can learn from her experience about how the world works. She now also has to take on the role of steering her children through life in ways that usually a father does. She says: “I need to stand in for their father. On the 15th or 20th day after Sarfraz’s shahadat, I told my kids that I was now their Papa as well, just without a mustache. I tell my children that they are not ordinary, they’re the offspring of a shaheed – they are chosen ones – so they cannot behave like ordinary people.
“I make sure that they know I’m always there if they need guidance. Sometimes, when my son Ahmad muses what his father would say or do in a particular situation, I tell him that he can come to me for guidance, after all I have experience of Army life because of his Nana Abba in addition to the time spent with his father.”
“I share my experiences with my daughter and tell her that she can learn a lot from my experiences rather than experiencing herself. I also make sure that she doesn’t feel the absence of her father, so I do things for her the way her father would want telling her that Papa and I have decided to do this or that. Because by the will of Allah he’s a shaheed and is always with me. Bus bachchay papa saab ko daikh nahi saktay, but I can.” The way this lady of steel smiles that incredible wide, full of life smile and makes light of it as she talks about all of this in the face of perhaps the greatest upheaval in her life, leaves one in awe of her inspiring courage and fortitude.
Moreover, just as she did when her husband was serving, she performs her duty towards other military families: “There were six people in that heli and I feel it my duty to help them (the families) in any way they need me to. We all stay in touch and talk to each other; I want to be able to help them. I feel like they’re all special and strong.”
One feels that there is something uniquely special about the family of a shaheed. Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed’s is no exception to this; it certainly feels like this family was destined for this distinction. The moment you turn into the driveway of their residence you see a huge Pakistani flag on the house that demonstrates the deep-rooted patriotism. The family is no stranger to sacrifices for Pakistan; both, the Shaheed and his wife, belong to military families.
Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed’s father was a war veteran who fought in both the 1965 and 1971 wars. His family had to endure the pains and pangs of Partition as they migrated to Pakistan. It, therefore, comes as no surprise that not only the men but women of this family would be willing to do go above and beyond for the country in times of need. Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed says that she never worried when her husband was sent to hard areas and neither is she afraid now for her son. In fact, she is even supportive of her younger son Muhammad’s wish to join Pakistan Army.
If duty runs in your veins, there is also concern for the country. Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed’s heart aches for Pakistan: “We should not take our country for granted. People lost their lives and families during partition, and since then. We must all understand and fulfill our responsibilities to make sure that all the sacrifices that people made for this country and the blood of shuhada should not go in vain, and we can take our country out of these tough times. As for myself, Allah has somehow chosen me to be a part of this family that continues to put their sweat and blood in service of the country, so as the wife of a shaheed, I think that I need to pray for the country and I do with all my heart because I believe that Allah can do anything.”
Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed could have delayed his visit because of the bad weather but chose not to because he felt for the desperate people of Balochistan who were sleeping without shelter, awaiting relief. On the day before his shahadat, July 31, 2022, he came back at 5 in the evening from a mission for flood affectees because they couldn’t land at their destination due to bad weather. He came home dejected and told his wife that they couldn’t land and he was back without doing what he set out to do. She soothed him and told him that he could do all that he wanted on the day that Allah willed.
Fate must have been smiling down upon them at that moment because it had great honor in store for them, the very next day. Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed will forever be remembered by the people of Balcohistan for his service in their hour of need. He spent his life serving the country and left this world doing that. Our shuhada and their families have done their part. However, the mission continues and is incomplete until we, as a nation, soldiers, or as civilians, also do our duty
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– Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed
August 1, 2022 dawned on Orchard House just like any other day. The lady of the house, Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali, prepared breakfast herself so that her husband could go about his immensely important day on a full, satisfied stomach. When he was ready to leave, she saw him out and then went on about her morning. The day dragged on as she did her usual chores and fulfilled commitments. As the afternoon drew in, she started feeling a bit pulled down; she didn’t mull attributing it to the post-wedding weariness, after all it had merely been a week since their beloved daughter Zainab’s wedding to Capt Shehryar Umar. It was just as she was idling with these thoughts that the phone rang.
It was her brother. After the usual pleasantries and quickly asking after her, he asked about her son Capt Ahmad Sarfraz and her husband, Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali. There was a sort of probing inquisitiveness in the way he asked about them. She replied to his inquiries and after a short conversation hung up the phone. But it was then that the oddity of the call hit her. Her brother was always quite busy with his professional commitments and wouldn’t call her for long periods on end, certainly not so soon after he had just seen her at the wedding, so for him to call her in the middle of the day was certainly unexpected. And why was he asking repeatedly about her son and husband? She decided to call him back. The second call that may as well have lasted an eternity gave her the news that was disquieting, to say the least, given who was receiving it. He told her that the Cessna that was flying her husband and their son (also his Staff Officer), to the flood-ravaged areas of Balochistan had gone missing.
This is not news that a devoted wife and doting mother would absorb with any measure of calm, but then Arifa Sarfraz is no ordinary woman. This is a woman who was born to a warrior, was married to one, had raised one, and helping prepare her younger son to become one. Valor, fortitude and a strong sense of duty to the country runs through her veins. So, on receiving such perturbing news, her optimism and strong faith in the will of Allah coalesced and gave her unyielding courage. As a military wife, more specifically as Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali’s wife, this was not her first brush off with such news. Her husband had served in hard areas many times throughout his career that had spanned a good 33 years or so, 26 of which he had spent with her. He was a decorated officer having earned Tamgha-e-Basalat (Tbt) twice for his bravery (he had said that one of his TBts belonged to his dear Arifa because she was so brave and encouraging); needless to say, he had had his run in with death before, and so a missing plane was not as dire a news for her as it potentially is. Maybe, it went off radar because of some technical reason. So she hoped. And she prayed.
By evening, things began looking bleaker. By now it was confirmed that it was not the plane but the helicopter that was carrying Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali along with senior officers and the flight staff had gone missing near Lasbela (thankfully, Capt Ahmad was not on board). The weather, however, was making the search and rescue difficult. Meanwhile, Mrs Arifa kept hope alive: “There was hope in my heart. I was visualizing how it have been, the malfunctioning heli landing because of the bad weather and Sarfraz sitting there cross-legged on a big rock, nonchalant, waiting to be rescued. I was continuously praying; my heart was anxious but there was hope that it cannot be (worse than that).
“I had a feeling about his shahadat. I was prepared for it because of the life that we had lived and I had the realization that when it’s time for you to go then it is time for you to go. And he also believed the same. But as long as there was no confirmation, there was hope.“
I had told the guard at the gate not to let any car through without my authorization because I dreaded the moment some officer would come in and confirm what my heart already knew but was not willing to hear coming from anyone’s lips giving it finality. I just thought that if I won’t let anyone come and give the news, it would somehow not come to be. I sometimes still can’t believe it and imagine what it would be like if he just walked in through the door.”
Evening turned into night, night into morning, and morning into midday before the news of the fatal crash was confirmed a little after 1 o’clock. But through those unending anxious hours, Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali kept herself together, for herself, her children, and her husband. She knew that what was imminent at that point would need her to be strong; she had known her whole life that no officer can do his job the way it is meant to be done unless he has the full support of his wife. And, that meant that in times like these she had to be able to take charge. Her husband, Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali, had always believed that his wife could do anything, so how could she let him down in that hardest of situations.
Where had this courage come from? Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed attributes this strength to various factors. First and foremost, she believes that just as Allah had chosen her husband for the great honor of shahadat, He must’ve seen something in her as well to honor her this way. She believes strongly that this strength flows through her because of the immense aid that Allah provides to a shaheed’s wife: “Allah gives courage. When someone says to me, ‘Ap mein bohat hosla hai’ I tell them that it is Allah; I can’t even breathe on my own accord, how can I endure without His aid. Allah must’ve known that if He put me in this situation, I would be able to bear it.”
In addition to this, she believes that her parents brought her up in a way that gave her the confidence that she could brave through anything. She also thinks that she inherited her steely attitude from her father, Maj Gen (Retd) Muhammad Arshad Chaudhary. “My father was famous for being an ironman. And I have his genes. He was a very gentle father but very encouraging and gave me a lot of confidence in myself.
“Sarfraz was a ghazi and life with him had toughened me up. I feel that shuhada are special people and they prepare their wives whether they have lived together for months or years. The young wife of one of the soldiers who embraced shahadat with Sarfraz said to me, ‘Mudaasar kehtay hain mein, mera heli, aur mera Pakistan. Mein issi heli pe shaheed honga’, and that resonates with me. Those were the exact same sentiments Sarfraz had.
“This understanding and the quiet strength I have inherited from my father helped me to never worry. I think after Sarfraz’s shahadat all that strength and energy just filled me up, and what I had learnt when I was with Sarfraz made it that much easier for me to deal with things.”
She goes on to say that one of the biggest things that gives her peace is the fact that Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed wanted to go from this world a shaheed when his time came, and Allah gave him his greatest wish; how could she not be satisfied with that: “Everyone has to go, but to leave this world a Shaheed is incomparable. He didn’t want to die behind a desk or in a hospital bed. He wanted to die in the field serving his country. It was his heart’s desire and Allah gave it to him. How can I mourn over that? I’m grateful that he got what he wanted. It did not suit an officer who had earned not one but two Tbts for his bravery to go any way other than as a shaheed; less than that was certainly not desirable. He went at his high point with the greatest of honors. That brings me peace.”
She says that for as long as they had been married, he had wanted shahadat if that was what the motherland needed. She recalls: “His desire was so intense that just last year, on the 21st of Ramadan, he said to me that he wondered what Allah didn’t like in him that he was not being granted his wish. With that he asked me to pray that he would embrace shahadat.”
Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed has been a very hands-on mother to her three children, especially because she is an Army officer’s wife and more importantly because her husband believed in giving his all to the motherland, and so he needed his wife to hold the home front. And since Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed had seen what was required of an officer’s wife in her parent’s household and then in her own as well, she stepped into the role with a deep sense of duty to her husband, her children and to her country: “I always tried my best that he should not feel any stress ever because of me or the children so that he could give his hundred percent at his job. This is also the reason I never took up any career, because I took on all the responsibility of the house and kids.” And thus it happened that when her husband embraced shahadat, one of the reasons she knew she could not break down was so she could shield her children as much as possible from the trauma of the earthshattering event that had taken place in their lives.
“I am just so grateful to Allah that we got to spend 26 beautiful years together, full of love and laughter. It doesn’t matter that we didn’t spend more time than we did because what we had together was something most people would envy.”
Despite the ordinary ups and downs that are there in any marriage, there was immense understanding, love and support. She affirms this, saying, “I’ve seen extreme love, the kind that’s very rare. And now that he has become immortal, the bond has become stronger if anything.”
Life since August 1, 2022, has been ‘different’ for Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed; it is the same and yet elementally different. She feels that people think she is alone not realizing that she is neither alone nor lonely. For one she has Allah and her family, and for another she feels the presence of her husband around her: “He’s a Shaheed and Allah has declared a shaheed alive, only people don’t have the consciousness. But I do, he’s around all the time.”
She goes on to say, “People expect you to behave and even show your emotions in a certain way, like a damsel in distress. In a male dominant society, they consider you to be alone after your husband, and they have to be told that I’m not alone. I feel his presence all the time, even when I lose myself in something, Allah reminds me he’s with me. For the world he’s left us but I have him with me even now, more so than before.”
“I feel that if Allah was with us before at a certain level, His aid is there infinitely more now. There are times every day when I’m down in the dumps but then Allah reminds me that He is with me. Allah gave him shahadat and He reminds me that I am a shaheed’s wife. Allah is the one, the only one. I strongly believe that Allah knows best and he must’ve seen something in me to decide that this was the life for me but ultimately, Allah is the wali and sustainer of a widow and orphans; I’m the widow of a shaheed and these are kids of a shaheed. I’m just very grateful to Allah. All I want is that my children and I lead our lives in a manner that is an homage to the legacy of my shaheed husband.”
Where before, she was ever so busy with the house and the children alongside a host of responsibilities and commitments as Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali, now as the wife of Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed, her life has taken on a more nuanced meaning. All the things she did before, she still does but now she has to steer it all herself, all the time making sure that this is what her husband would have wanted. She says: “People think I don’t have anything left to do in my life now, whereas, the truth is that I’m still as busy as ever because I held the fort at home when he was walking among us and now that he’s in the other world looking over us, I still do all that, and more, because now I have additional responsibilities.”
She believes that now the responsibility of being a parent is squarely on her shoulders, she strives to protect her children from the problems she faces because she feels that their father’s shahadat is enough for them to deal with. She wants them to excel in life and not be concerned with burdens that she could carry for them. However, she feels it is important that she shares with them how she manages it all so they can learn from her experience about how the world works. She now also has to take on the role of steering her children through life in ways that usually a father does. She says: “I need to stand in for their father. On the 15th or 20th day after Sarfraz’s shahadat, I told my kids that I was now their Papa as well, just without a mustache. I tell my children that they are not ordinary, they’re the offspring of a shaheed – they are chosen ones – so they cannot behave like ordinary people.
“I make sure that they know I’m always there if they need guidance. Sometimes, when my son Ahmad muses what his father would say or do in a particular situation, I tell him that he can come to me for guidance, after all I have experience of Army life because of his Nana Abba in addition to the time spent with his father.”
“I share my experiences with my daughter and tell her that she can learn a lot from my experiences rather than experiencing herself. I also make sure that she doesn’t feel the absence of her father, so I do things for her the way her father would want telling her that Papa and I have decided to do this or that. Because by the will of Allah he’s a shaheed and is always with me. Bus bachchay papa saab ko daikh nahi saktay, but I can.” The way this lady of steel smiles that incredible wide, full of life smile and makes light of it as she talks about all of this in the face of perhaps the greatest upheaval in her life, leaves one in awe of her inspiring courage and fortitude.
Moreover, just as she did when her husband was serving, she performs her duty towards other military families: “There were six people in that heli and I feel it my duty to help them (the families) in any way they need me to. We all stay in touch and talk to each other; I want to be able to help them. I feel like they’re all special and strong.”
One feels that there is something uniquely special about the family of a shaheed. Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed’s is no exception to this; it certainly feels like this family was destined for this distinction. The moment you turn into the driveway of their residence you see a huge Pakistani flag on the house that demonstrates the deep-rooted patriotism. The family is no stranger to sacrifices for Pakistan; both, the Shaheed and his wife, belong to military families.
Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed’s father was a war veteran who fought in both the 1965 and 1971 wars. His family had to endure the pains and pangs of Partition as they migrated to Pakistan. It, therefore, comes as no surprise that not only the men but women of this family would be willing to do go above and beyond for the country in times of need. Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed says that she never worried when her husband was sent to hard areas and neither is she afraid now for her son. In fact, she is even supportive of her younger son Muhammad’s wish to join Pakistan Army.
If duty runs in your veins, there is also concern for the country. Mrs Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed’s heart aches for Pakistan: “We should not take our country for granted. People lost their lives and families during partition, and since then. We must all understand and fulfill our responsibilities to make sure that all the sacrifices that people made for this country and the blood of shuhada should not go in vain, and we can take our country out of these tough times. As for myself, Allah has somehow chosen me to be a part of this family that continues to put their sweat and blood in service of the country, so as the wife of a shaheed, I think that I need to pray for the country and I do with all my heart because I believe that Allah can do anything.”
Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed could have delayed his visit because of the bad weather but chose not to because he felt for the desperate people of Balochistan who were sleeping without shelter, awaiting relief. On the day before his shahadat, July 31, 2022, he came back at 5 in the evening from a mission for flood affectees because they couldn’t land at their destination due to bad weather. He came home dejected and told his wife that they couldn’t land and he was back without doing what he set out to do. She soothed him and told him that he could do all that he wanted on the day that Allah willed.
Fate must have been smiling down upon them at that moment because it had great honor in store for them, the very next day. Lt Gen Sarfraz Ali Shaheed will forever be remembered by the people of Balcohistan for his service in their hour of need. He spent his life serving the country and left this world doing that. Our shuhada and their families have done their part. However, the mission continues and is incomplete until we, as a nation, soldiers, or as civilians, also do our duty
Arifa Sarfraz: Ode to Duty
“Throughout our 26-years marriage, I knew that he would be a shaheed, I expected it every day when he left home. He always led from the front, willing to lay his life for the country, if that’s what was needed. I understood and mirrored his sentiments. Without the support of his wife an officer...
