The Killswitch Conspiracy
The epic, blown out of proportions, completely unrelated believable tale of Pakistan’s F-16s and their Killswitch or How the Fascist confederate states of America planned to make Pakistan’s eF-solahs fall out of the sky.
Disclaimer: Any coincidences with the dead or living or any actual historical event is impossible, as the author was under the influence of Bromazepam writing this.
It was the 80s and Pakistan was at war with the Indians (1) who had invaded the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan under the guise of making a big budget bollywood film. Hundreds of young clean shaved Pakistani’s of the rebel Alliance were out fighting this war, backed up by the Free Police of Kabul. With the help of the United states conglomerate (2) were winning victory after victory against a million Indian troops.
India however was a galactic power with regional ambitions possessing weapons of mass production and had developed a BigB item-bomb in 1974 which it had tested somewhere near the lush green valleys of Andhra Tibet. This had caused the Khalifah of the Democratic Dictatorship of Pakistan at the time to proclaim that the nation will match India weapon for weapon even if it has to feast on siri-payas to do so. And it was because of this that Pakistan’s item-bomb ambitions were well underway thanks to the assistance of a defecting nuclear technician (3). The primary facilities for creating this bomb was BRL(Bugti research Labara-tories) which were located near the caves of Kohlu, very close to the capital of the country.
India with its hegemonies designs against Pakistan was aghast at the progress in conceiving the item-bomb in the BRL and it was rumored that they had made plans to attack the facility before significant seduction of the technology required to make the item-bomb could be accomplished.
When the Ameer-ul-Khalifah-tul-HinduMuslim Mushir(11)of the Secular Democratic states of Pakistan asked the Fariq-ul-Awal(12) of his Fizaya as to how good be the defense of Kohlu he was told:
“Sir, An attack on the facilities will get through our defenses in three days.”
“THREE days!” said the Mushir clutching his prayer beads.
“Yes sir” replied the Fariq, “it would take the Indians two days to decide whether to use rockets or bombs and whether they should use their best aircraft which are by the way still better than ours or spend billions of Yuan buying even more expensive ones for the job”
“But what of the third day?” asked the Mushir.
“Sir, Our embassy in India will need a day to process their request for maps of Balochistan” replied the Fariq.
“But three days is too quick, what must be bought to give our fizaya the ability to defend the conception of the item-bomb?” asked a worried Mushir and wrote a note for the carrier pigeon.
“I have written to the sales representative of the USC, and they are willing to offer us the latest version of the F-.5.. the F-U for 11/10th’s of its showroom price” Beamed the Mushir as he thought he had made the deal of the century.
“That will not be enough sir, I need better” stared the Fariq into the darkness...
“I NEED effing Solahs!”
The leadership of the USC then which was led by George Clooney approved the sale of the fighter at three times the factory price which convinced the darbar of Pakistan that it was a steal.
After deciding on the paint job and rims the eF-16’s were delivered in 1983 after which the Mushir of Pakistan told the Premier of the Indian union during a wrestling match(4) that any attack on Kohlu would be retailed with an attack on Taj Mahal.
Since then many fizaya pilots have performed miraculous feats of derring-do on these holy steeds and have became ace of aces. Many a Hammer and Sickel flag carrying Saffron bandit fell to its deadly missiles during the early days of the never ending Afghan war.
The Ef-16s though came with a catch. To start them you needed a special key that the ef-16 would need to give you the weather updates of the day. This Key was made daily by “The Keymaker”(5) sitting in the USC Embassy and since this process compromised national repute the fizaya gathered its top engineers and by the end of the 80’s had figured out how short the wires in the hood to make the Ef-16 work anyway. This was a good omen as the very idea of Veena malik(10) being born resulted in Pakistan being sanctioned, blockaded and thrown rotten vegetables at for some ten years. The eF-16’s that were ordered sat in the factory parking lot while sales and support for the existing fleet were withdrawn.
Other vendors too were encouraged to hang up the phone when somebody from the fizaya called..
it was bad...really bad.
After a period of ten years in which the Afghan war had slowed down (slightly) (and had seen a period of vibrant secular democracy)the terrifying lawsuits against the people of Big Apple by “OzzY” laden (6) resulted in the USC entering the Afghan War.
Then Leader and “Wiz-Khalifa” of Pakistan General Commando pointed at his country and told the Americans “It’s all yours for a price”. The resulting boost to the economy of Pakistan saw prosperity reach the masses in such a way that people would have money to give for Zakat but no one could be found.
With so much money in their pockets the Fariq’s of the Official Pakistani Armed forces were also told to buy’n’large for which the Fariq-ul-Awal of the Fizaya then decided on the newest model of the Ef-16 with the Aluminium Block-52 valve model and ipod compatible entertainment system.
When the United States conglomerate got the request for the Ef-16 their leadership which comprised of Zionist Cashews(7) were worried that the new Ef-16’s may be used against their new BFF the Gandhi Empire. There was also a major concern that the Pakistani’s may allow their BFF’s the Dragon Kingdom to come and read the brochures for the Ef-16. Therefore it was decided to include gazillion levels of encryption into the smart card (8) for the new models. This isometric-superfluous-fuzzy-neuron-cryptic encrypted algorithm now resides in every new Pakistani F-16 and is a threat to national ego.
Every time the new Ef-16’s have to be started and all beeps and boops to be heard requires some poor bloke chosen at random to run to the USC embassy and get a new scratch card to load onto the Ef-16’s electronic systems. Moreover, due to the advanced nature of the key in this Ef-16 it is virtually impossible for fizaya mechanics to bypass resulting in a slavery of the fizaya to the USC.
It is also rumored that the USC can use internet radio to cause a total systems failure in the new eF-16s causing them to come crashing to the ground.
The Ef-solah’s of the Pakistan Fizaya may be the pride of the nation but they are totally useless except for joyrides due to the conspiracy of the Zionist United States corporation..The border of this nation is now “thin-air” due to the negligence of the Leadership of the Pakistani “leadership”
1. Or was it the Soviets?? Let’s assume it was India anyway
2. Soviet India had supported Basmati Vietnam in its bid for a hostile takeover of the remaining rice paddies in the country.
3. Previously served in the radiology department of a public hospital in Dutchistan.
4. Supposedly Mansoor “Manly” Ijaz known then as Munna started his career in wrestling commentary from here.
5. Rumored to have been killed during the events of Matrix Reloaded.
6. ******-Rich Playboy Saudi Businessman.
7. Christian-Jews. Known locally as Cashews.
8. The new Ef-16’s come equipped with stocks,twitter,reminders ,angrybirds,Microsoft flight simulator,word,excel,Quicktime and a 8 mega pixel camera in addition to the standard weather mode found on the existing Ef-16’s.
9.Eaten , because 7 ate 9.
10. Veena malik was reportedly conceived sometime in the 90’s as her current age of 18 suggests so, currently serving as ambassador of Pakistan to India.
11. Field Khalifa of all Hindu-Muslims
12.Chief of Staff.. me thinks.
The epic, blown out of proportions, completely unrelated believable tale of Pakistan’s F-16s and their Killswitch or How the Fascist confederate states of America planned to make Pakistan’s eF-solahs fall out of the sky.
Disclaimer: Any coincidences with the dead or living or any actual historical event is impossible, as the author was under the influence of Bromazepam writing this.
It was the 80s and Pakistan was at war with the Indians (1) who had invaded the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan under the guise of making a big budget bollywood film. Hundreds of young clean shaved Pakistani’s of the rebel Alliance were out fighting this war, backed up by the Free Police of Kabul. With the help of the United states conglomerate (2) were winning victory after victory against a million Indian troops.
India however was a galactic power with regional ambitions possessing weapons of mass production and had developed a BigB item-bomb in 1974 which it had tested somewhere near the lush green valleys of Andhra Tibet. This had caused the Khalifah of the Democratic Dictatorship of Pakistan at the time to proclaim that the nation will match India weapon for weapon even if it has to feast on siri-payas to do so. And it was because of this that Pakistan’s item-bomb ambitions were well underway thanks to the assistance of a defecting nuclear technician (3). The primary facilities for creating this bomb was BRL(Bugti research Labara-tories) which were located near the caves of Kohlu, very close to the capital of the country.
India with its hegemonies designs against Pakistan was aghast at the progress in conceiving the item-bomb in the BRL and it was rumored that they had made plans to attack the facility before significant seduction of the technology required to make the item-bomb could be accomplished.
When the Ameer-ul-Khalifah-tul-HinduMuslim Mushir(11)of the Secular Democratic states of Pakistan asked the Fariq-ul-Awal(12) of his Fizaya as to how good be the defense of Kohlu he was told:
“Sir, An attack on the facilities will get through our defenses in three days.”
“THREE days!” said the Mushir clutching his prayer beads.
“Yes sir” replied the Fariq, “it would take the Indians two days to decide whether to use rockets or bombs and whether they should use their best aircraft which are by the way still better than ours or spend billions of Yuan buying even more expensive ones for the job”
“But what of the third day?” asked the Mushir.
“Sir, Our embassy in India will need a day to process their request for maps of Balochistan” replied the Fariq.
“But three days is too quick, what must be bought to give our fizaya the ability to defend the conception of the item-bomb?” asked a worried Mushir and wrote a note for the carrier pigeon.
“I have written to the sales representative of the USC, and they are willing to offer us the latest version of the F-.5.. the F-U for 11/10th’s of its showroom price” Beamed the Mushir as he thought he had made the deal of the century.
“That will not be enough sir, I need better” stared the Fariq into the darkness...
“I NEED effing Solahs!”
The leadership of the USC then which was led by George Clooney approved the sale of the fighter at three times the factory price which convinced the darbar of Pakistan that it was a steal.
After deciding on the paint job and rims the eF-16’s were delivered in 1983 after which the Mushir of Pakistan told the Premier of the Indian union during a wrestling match(4) that any attack on Kohlu would be retailed with an attack on Taj Mahal.
Since then many fizaya pilots have performed miraculous feats of derring-do on these holy steeds and have became ace of aces. Many a Hammer and Sickel flag carrying Saffron bandit fell to its deadly missiles during the early days of the never ending Afghan war.
The Ef-16s though came with a catch. To start them you needed a special key that the ef-16 would need to give you the weather updates of the day. This Key was made daily by “The Keymaker”(5) sitting in the USC Embassy and since this process compromised national repute the fizaya gathered its top engineers and by the end of the 80’s had figured out how short the wires in the hood to make the Ef-16 work anyway. This was a good omen as the very idea of Veena malik(10) being born resulted in Pakistan being sanctioned, blockaded and thrown rotten vegetables at for some ten years. The eF-16’s that were ordered sat in the factory parking lot while sales and support for the existing fleet were withdrawn.
Other vendors too were encouraged to hang up the phone when somebody from the fizaya called..
it was bad...really bad.
After a period of ten years in which the Afghan war had slowed down (slightly) (and had seen a period of vibrant secular democracy)the terrifying lawsuits against the people of Big Apple by “OzzY” laden (6) resulted in the USC entering the Afghan War.
Then Leader and “Wiz-Khalifa” of Pakistan General Commando pointed at his country and told the Americans “It’s all yours for a price”. The resulting boost to the economy of Pakistan saw prosperity reach the masses in such a way that people would have money to give for Zakat but no one could be found.
With so much money in their pockets the Fariq’s of the Official Pakistani Armed forces were also told to buy’n’large for which the Fariq-ul-Awal of the Fizaya then decided on the newest model of the Ef-16 with the Aluminium Block-52 valve model and ipod compatible entertainment system.
When the United States conglomerate got the request for the Ef-16 their leadership which comprised of Zionist Cashews(7) were worried that the new Ef-16’s may be used against their new BFF the Gandhi Empire. There was also a major concern that the Pakistani’s may allow their BFF’s the Dragon Kingdom to come and read the brochures for the Ef-16. Therefore it was decided to include gazillion levels of encryption into the smart card (8) for the new models. This isometric-superfluous-fuzzy-neuron-cryptic encrypted algorithm now resides in every new Pakistani F-16 and is a threat to national ego.
Every time the new Ef-16’s have to be started and all beeps and boops to be heard requires some poor bloke chosen at random to run to the USC embassy and get a new scratch card to load onto the Ef-16’s electronic systems. Moreover, due to the advanced nature of the key in this Ef-16 it is virtually impossible for fizaya mechanics to bypass resulting in a slavery of the fizaya to the USC.
It is also rumored that the USC can use internet radio to cause a total systems failure in the new eF-16s causing them to come crashing to the ground.
The Ef-solah’s of the Pakistan Fizaya may be the pride of the nation but they are totally useless except for joyrides due to the conspiracy of the Zionist United States corporation..The border of this nation is now “thin-air” due to the negligence of the Leadership of the Pakistani “leadership”
1. Or was it the Soviets?? Let’s assume it was India anyway
2. Soviet India had supported Basmati Vietnam in its bid for a hostile takeover of the remaining rice paddies in the country.
3. Previously served in the radiology department of a public hospital in Dutchistan.
4. Supposedly Mansoor “Manly” Ijaz known then as Munna started his career in wrestling commentary from here.
5. Rumored to have been killed during the events of Matrix Reloaded.
6. ******-Rich Playboy Saudi Businessman.
7. Christian-Jews. Known locally as Cashews.
8. The new Ef-16’s come equipped with stocks,twitter,reminders ,angrybirds,Microsoft flight simulator,word,excel,Quicktime and a 8 mega pixel camera in addition to the standard weather mode found on the existing Ef-16’s.
9.Eaten , because 7 ate 9.
10. Veena malik was reportedly conceived sometime in the 90’s as her current age of 18 suggests so, currently serving as ambassador of Pakistan to India.
11. Field Khalifa of all Hindu-Muslims
12.Chief of Staff.. me thinks.
You moved your post to a new thread, Han ! Clever working mate 
