What do you think about this picture

[VCheng]

In some cases, yes.

Not in mine or any of my family.

We've matchmade our girls. Gotten them married off. Employed and trained in other alternate skills (typing, beauty). Given them old scooters for mobility. Got their kids into decent schools. Counseled and sometimes even hammered their drunk useless philandering menfolk. Got them treated properly in decent hospitals, even operated upon, when needed. Gotten their last rites done well when the old ones pass away.

Bro, some of the old maids who took care of my kids also took care of my wife when she was a kid. The ones who did maalish of my kids became long term maids. And were as fiercely protective of my kids as us. Would come running concerned, or simply hover around worried, if one of us was going ballistic on them ....

Tell me you seriously do not know this is how its done here?

Cheers, Doc

I do know how it is done there. My comment sadly remains the rule rather than the few exceptions (such as what you describe).

Tellingly, when visiting Pakistan, most people will ask not to treat their servants any better or differently than they themselves do, lest they get ideas (as described above: "Our politeness, and our treating them with respect totally lead to blackmail, disrespect, kam chori and exploitation of our situation.").

ex·ploi·ta·tion
ˌekˌsploiˈtāSH(ə)n/
noun

1. 1.
   the action or fact of treating someone unfairly in order to benefit from their work.
   "the exploitation of migrant workers"
   synonyms: taking advantage, abuse, misuse, ill-treatment, unfair treatment, oppression
   "the exploitation of the poor"

Most house help is in that situation due to lack of viable better alternatives, pure and simple.

 

[padamchen]

I do know how it is done there. My comment sadly remains the rule rather than the few exceptions (such as what you describe).

Tellingly, when visiting Pakistan, most people will ask not to treat their servants any better or differently than they themselves do, lest they get ideas (as described above: "Our politeness, and our treating them with respect totally lead to blackmail, disrespect, kam chori and exploitation of our situation.").

ex·ploi·ta·tion
ˌekˌsploiˈtāSH(ə)n/
noun

1. 1.
   the action or fact of treating someone unfairly in order to benefit from their work.
   "the exploitation of migrant workers"
   synonyms: taking advantage, abuse, misuse, ill-treatment, unfair treatment, oppression
   "the exploitation of the poor"

Most house help is in that situation due to lack of viable better alternatives, pure and simple.

I doubt this happens in big cities though.

Education and awareness has caught up big time in the younger generations of the help.

Its only in smaller towns you would find village migrants.

The help in cities like Mumbai and Pune are simply put city women. They will kick your arse if you do anything nasty ....

Cheers, Doc

 

[VCheng]

I doubt this happens in big cities though.

Education and awareness has caught up big time in the younger generations of the help.

Its only in smaller towns you would find village migrants.

The help in cities like Mumbai and Pune are simply put city women. They will kick your arse if you do anything nasty ....

Cheers, Doc

I agree with you that the situation in the larger cities is not as bad as in smaller towns and villages, but nonetheless it is bad overall.

 

[Divergent]

Treat humans as humans

 

[El Sidd]

Then Shadi Hall Mafia Had Him Assassinated

Shhh sabko Pata chal jaega

 

[Awan68]

This happens mostly in Punjab and sindh. Pashtuns don't really have classism and will typically eat with their servants on the ground or charpai.

Pashtuns in tribal areas also keep little boys as sex toys, enough of ur hatred for punjab, huh, if ur intentions is to divide Pakistani's on the basis of ethinicity then u can wrap up those sentiments and shove them where the sun doesnt shine, thankyou.

 

[Kabira]

This happens mostly in Punjab and sindh. Pashtuns don't really have classism and will typically eat with their servants on the ground or charpai.

Wrong, only in punjab. Don't confuse Sindhi culture with that of punjab. Sindhi wadera and menial will be of same tribe/blood lineage living in same village. Its only in punjab where people who work in homes tend to belong to dalit /mussalis race etc Old migrants from interior India.

But not eating with servants? never seen that but could be the case in some families.

 

[lastofthepatriots]

Pashtuns in tribal areas also keep little boys as sex toys, enough of ur hatred for punjab, huh, if ur intentions is to divide Pakistani's on the basis of ethinicity then u can wrap up those sentiments and shove them where the sun doesnt shine, thankyou.

I am Punjabi, but why let the truth hurt your feelings?

 

[I.R.A]

It's sad to see ppl take advantage of someone's niceness and walk all over them...but that's their loss really. They will realize their mistake when they go to work for some heartless rich person. In any case continue on ur path and don't ever change...humility and kindness towards others are great qualities to have

Rich people are not necessarily heartless, I have learnt decoding these images the hard way. The reason for such photos is one, trying to generate false sympathy for something that may not be happening, two such domestic help that you find standing carrying a child or looking miskeen and following the lady like a robot ...... gets paid pretty high ... basically whatever they demand they get, as high as upto PKR 30,000 a month, and all they have to do is look after the child when the lady is busy. Third, I had a domestic aid who had previously worked for a lady who would visit shopping centers, food courts almost every evening ........... and the she quite often complained that "You people are too boring, you don't go to any places in evening"......... bai Zakat dainay nikal jao to zakat kum par jy gi ........ kissi ko nokri dainay niklo to diyanatdari say kam karnay waly nai milay gay.

 

[padamchen]

Rich people are not necessarily heartless, I have learnt decoding these images the hard way. The reason for such photos is one, trying to generate false sympathy for something that may not be happening, two such domestic help that you find standing carrying a child or looking miskeen and following the lady like a robot ...... gets paid pretty high ... basically whatever they demand they get, as high as upto PKR 30,000 a month, and all they have to do is look after the child when the lady is busy. Third, I had a domestic aid who had previously worked for a lady who would visit shopping centers, food courts almost every evening ........... and the she quite often complained that "You people are too boring, you don't go to any places in evening"......... bai Zakat dainay nikal jao to zakat kum par jy gi ........ kissi ko nokri dainay niklo to diyanatdari say kam karnay waly nai milay gay.

This is common in the case of working couples in nuclear families.

I think you guys are not "old family" Islamabad right?

Old family types (settled in the same place for generations) typically have maids that come through multiple connections, usually stay long, and the job is cross generational.

As in, we had an old lady (who has now passed away), her two daughters also work for us, and the daughter of one of them used to work for us and help get the kids ready for school, till she got a good much higher paying full time job in a call center. She spoke fluent English.

Another young girl who works for us was a complete dork when she started. Then she was put into a Manipuri lady run beauty saloon by my sister in law. She works there full time now. But stillshelps out around the house in the morning rush, though her full-time job pays reallyrwell. The kids have taught her English (lots of laughing when she tries it on me) and she wears clothes like any young city girl her age. With similar boyfriend issues as well.

Cheers, Doc

 

[Lucky Breeze]

Alhamdulillah, When ever I am alone I always eat with my driver and other helpers in restaurants. My driver is a big mouth and full of stories. Always enjoy his company. Don't treat them as langotia as it will cause some issues but treat them with respect.

But with family they are on the other table with a menu of their own wish.

 

[I.R.A]

This is common in the case of working couples in nuclear families.

I think you guys are not "old family" Islamabad right?

Old family types (settled in the same place for generations) typically have maids that come through multiple connections, usually stay long, and the job is cross generational.

As in, we had an old lady (who has now passed away), her two daughters also work for us, and the daughter of one of them used to work for us and help get the kids ready for school, till she got a good much higher paying full time job in a call center. She spoke fluent English.

Another young girl who works for us was a complete dork when she started. Then she was put into a Manipuri lady run beauty saloon by my sister in law. She works there full time now. But stillshelps out around the house in the morning rush, though her full-time job pays reallyrwell. The kids have taught her English (lots of laughing when she tries it on me) and she wears clothes like any young city girl her age. With similar boyfriend issues as well.

Cheers, Doc

You are lucky I am not, we live separately and are not a joint family setup. Kept offering each one of them and their parents, that they can study further, I can get them private admission buy them books, help them with studies, there is lot of spare time at your disposal, put it to some use, if you don't wish to study tell us we can arrange something else that is useful ..... but futile. The older generation used to be more imandar, understanding, cooperative, and would value your nice intentions ... but this new generation across the board somewhat lacks common sense you know. My family when we were kids never needed a domestic aid, even today when I tell my mother that you need to rest now, we can arrange someone and you can get her do the housekeeping, but the answer always remains the same, no. We did arrange once and it turned out that aid would sit idle doing nothing and my mother would be following her routine. So stopped insisting, at least that keeps her active and busy.