Sharing husband could boost family health and wealth!

[Zibago]

This is not considered a healthy situation - going groveling to the missus asking for permission for insignificant things.

I'd change my situation.

But I realize some people can be stuck in that situation for one reason or another.

Its easier said than done just ask any married person

 

[Bilal9]

The image used is from the Lollywood comedy number 'Jawani Phir Nahi Aani', here's the trailer.

 

[Levina]

To my knowledge, almost every successful businessman in the city of Dhaka has an exclusive mistress he keeps. It is almost a prestige issue among men. The mistress can be utilized for fun vacations and overseas trips.

This is disastrous!

In most larger South Asian cities - the story is the same.

To my knowledge the percentage of men who cheat might come close to 35-40% in India, and it is not exclusive to any income group.

So you have to ask - why are the men cheating?

I know the answer already.
Most of them do it for thrill, but there are rare few who are tied down by a rock in an unsatisfying marriage- the reasons can be many.
But I believe where there's a will there's a way- every relationship has to be nourished and looked after. Investing your time in your marriage is a fruitful investment but its definitely not a one time investment.

 

[Sky lord]

@fakhre mirpur Bhaijaan - on a serious note, the commitment of marriage must be based on mutual respect.

Although I know you are joking about your present situation, marriage cannot turn into a master-slave arrangement.

If I as a man submit into this slavery unconditionally (can't talk to another woman at a party/gathering or look at soft-p*rn like mens' magazines without mem-sahiba flying into a rage) then this cannot be a healthy situation for either partner.

To most of those around me - the rule among married couples is that 'look all you want - but no touching'.

Trust must be a pre-requisite in a marriage, until and unless it is broken. Rules should always be set by cool, reasonable exchanges of thought.

'Dar' or 'societal shaming' alone cannot be a reasoning to keep a marriage going. if it is, then it is too late to save that marriage.

There is a reason why we have 'Teen Talaq' as a rule in Islamic marital law.



I know you're stating this as the ideal situation.

But reality is different. To my knowledge, almost every successful businessman in the city of Dhaka has an exclusive mistress he keeps. It is almost a prestige issue among men. The mistress can be utilized for fun vacations and overseas trips.

This is a covert secret lifestyle under wraps under the overt public life with wife/kids etc. feigning a respectable 'outer shell'.

In most larger South Asian cities - the story is the same.for

So you have to ask - why are the men cheating?

I may be wrong, but something tells me you are not married or else you move in such advanced stratospheric circles that people behave like what you say.

For the remaining 99.9% of us there is no option to casually look through soft p0rn magazines or even to accidentally on purpose look at a girls well rounded back as she walks away when you are with a wife or serious girlfriend. It is I am reliably informed "lacks respect for me and for our relationship"

You simply cannot run a real marriage on these theories because the gals will have none of it. And yes, if you are planning on having children, it is very selfish to cheat on their mother. It is not only about you, it is also about what is best for the child.

What is best for the child is always a happy, loving home with two committed slightly pushy parents. It is not a home where the father is king of all he surveys and keeps a mistress which mom does not talk about but makes her very anxious and sad.

I don't want to sound harsh or blunt but The only girls you will find with this kind of behavior are dingbat gold diggers and if that is what you are looking for more power to you sir.

 

[utraash]

!


To my knowledge the percentage of men who cheat might come close to 35-40% in India, and it is not exclusive to any income group.
be.

Actual number is higher especially in metros......

 

[Zibago]

For the remaining 99.9% of us there is no option to casually look through soft p0rn magazines or even to accidentally on purpose look at a girls well rounded back as she walks away when you are with a wife or serious girlfriend. It is I am reliably informed "lacks respect for me and for our relationship"


.

I dont know but most married men i know do hide their tharki side from their wives to avoid an un needed quarrel

The image used is from the Lollywood comedy number 'Jawani Phir Nahi Aani', here's the trailer.

Super awesome movie i couldnt stop laughing in the cinema

 

[Bilal9]

I may be wrong, but something tells me you are not married or else you move in such advanced stratospheric circles that people behave like what you say.

I live in the West Coast of the United States where Desis typically follow California culture and values in their daily lives. Most of us are upper middle class with both partners often highly educated and living together, while marriage is optional. Marriage is performed often for tax purposes only. Children can be born out-of-wedlock and no one bats an eyelash. Its your commitment to children that matters, not your marital status. A piece of paper for a contract is neither a covenant nor the indicator of love between two people. This is what the future is...

For the remaining 99.9% of us there is no option to casually look through soft p0rn magazines or even to accidentally on purpose look at a girls well rounded back as she walks away when you are with a wife or serious girlfriend. It is I am reliably informed "lacks respect for me and for our relationship"

This is convenient for your wife but is it for you? Why will you limit yourself? I'm sure she is looking at boys' pectoral muscles too which is (snicker) cute. What is the problem if you observed someone's 'well rounded back'? As long as you're not cheating or straying - why the guilty feeling?

You simply cannot run a real marriage on these theories because the gals will have none of it. And yes, if you are planning on having children, it is very selfish to cheat on their mother. It is not only about you, it is also about what is best for the child.

The gals will have 'none of it' because a wife,

a) Probably earns less than you and is insecure about losing you as a bread-winner.
b) Jealous because she 'thinks' she doesn't look as good as the 'hot number' she saw you looking at.

These reasons above are because of laziness on the part of the woman (not trying to educate herself or not going to the gym, as it maybe). Both cases are irrelevant if women have parity in earnings with men and 'maintain' their figure and attractiveness into their 40's and 50's.

It is a given that men will stray (or at least will try). They are designed by the almighty to 'propagate the species'. It's biology plain and simple.

What keeps men from cheating is pure love, adoration and consideration for one woman, which is what it should be, not considerations about children or feelings of guilt. Kids are now happy in non-traditional split families as well, as is the norm all around me nowadays.

What is best for the child is always a happy, loving home with two committed slightly pushy parents. It is not a home where the father is king of all he surveys and keeps a mistress which mom does not talk about but makes her very anxious and sad.

Mistresses - as I mentioned, are the norm for the Uber-wealthy all across Asia. It is reality. What you describe with a happy loving home is a norm mostly in middle class homes.

I don't want to sound harsh or blunt but The only girls you will find with this kind of behavior are dingbat gold diggers and if that is what you are looking for more power to you sir.

If you call attractive women with PhD's at Director slots in major firms, dingbat gold-diggers than I have nothing to say. Your concept of family died in the US in the late 80's....

Ultimately - marital piety benefits the women only (often lazy, non-competitive ones) and there is something seriously wrong with that one-sided equation. Women in the new age have become independent and have gotten far beyond that.

 

[Audio]

I live in the West Coast of the United States where Desis typically follow California culture and values in their daily lives. Most of us are upper middle class with both partners often highly educated and living together, while marriage is optional. Marriage is performed often for tax purposes only. Children can be born out-of-wedlock and no one bats an eyelash. Its your commitment to children that matters, not your marital status. A piece of paper for a contract is neither a covenant nor the indicator of love between two people. This is what the future is...



This is convenient for your wife but is it for you? Why will you limit yourself? I'm sure she is looking at boys' pectoral muscles too which is (snicker) cute. What is the problem if you observed someone's 'well rounded back'? As long as you're not cheating or straying - why the guilty feeling?



The gals will have 'none of it' because a wife,

a) Probably earns less than you and is insecure about losing you as a bread-winner.
b) Jealous because she 'thinks' she doesn't look as good as the 'hot number' she saw you looking at.

These reasons above are because of laziness on the part of the woman (not trying to educate herself or not going to the gym, as it maybe). Both cases are irrelevant if women have parity in earnings with men and 'maintain' their figure and attractiveness into their 40's and 50's.

It is a given that men will stray (or at least will try). They are designed by the almighty to 'propagate the species'. It's biology plain and simple.

What keeps men from cheating is pure love, adoration and consideration for one woman, which is what it should be, not considerations about children or feelings of guilt. Kids are now happy in non-traditional split families as well, as is the norm all around me nowadays.



Mistresses - as I mentioned, are the norm for the Uber-wealthy all across Asia. It is reality. What you describe with a happy loving home is a norm mostly in middle class homes.



If you call attractive women with PhD's at Director slots in major firms, dingbat gold-diggers than I have nothing to say. Your concept of family died in the US in the late 80's....

Ultimately - marital piety benefits the women only (often lazy, non-competitive ones) and there is something seriously wrong with that one-sided equation. Women in the new age have become independent and have gotten far beyond that.

You are objectifying so casually you don't even know it. Like here:

The gals will have 'none of it' because a wife,

a) Probably earns less than you and is insecure about losing you as a bread-winner.
b) Jealous because she 'thinks' she doesn't look as good as the 'hot number' she saw you looking at.

This says translated : yo, woman, imma go watch some *** and titties, if you got any objections, there's the door, manage on your own".

Where is

pure love, adoration and consideration

you are harping about a few lines further down?

Also this:

and 'maintain' their figure and attractiveness into their 40's and 50's.

This says "bijatch, if you ain't hot when you getting old, imma replace you for a newer model". This is also assuming everyone is after the "trophy wife" like dare i say you are and everyone throws compatibility which gets more and more important with old age out the window.

In my humble opinion you should refrain from giving advices, you're like bad in the brain, very shallow. Just LOL.

 

[Bilal9]

You are objectifying so casually you don't even know it. Like here:



This says translated : yo, woman, imma go watch some *** and titties, if you got any objections, there's the door, manage on your own".

Where is you are harping about a few lines further down?

Also this:



This says "bijatch, if you ain't hot when you getting old, imma replace you for a newer model".

In my humble opinion you should refrain from giving advices, you're like bad in the brain. Just LOL.

Your retort would be interesting only if you reversed the order and saw that men are held to these standards as well.

These feministic retorts and guilt trips (objectification etc.) are no longer valid in 2015 because I (as a male) am just as 'objectified', by successful females around me. I can't be overweight and have to be competitive as far as money and careers on an ongoing basis to be a suitable choice.

I can be replaced too. Success does not belong to lazy, unkempt people.

And what's good for the goose, is for the gander. Equal opportunity 'objectification' in your words.

 

[Audio]

Your retort would be interesting only if you reversed the order and saw that men are held to these standards as well.

These feministic retorts and guilt trips (objectification etc.) are no longer valid in 2015 because I (as a male) am just as 'objectified', by successful females around me. I can't be overweight and have to be competitive as far as money and careers on an ongoing basis to be a suitable choice.

I can be replaced too. Success does not belong to lazy, unkempt people.

And what's good for the goose, is for the gander. Equal opportunity 'objectification' in your words.

Dude, use common sense. You walk with your girl, you like her (not even love), would you not feel a little bit embarrased if she kept staring at all the passing guys? Inadequate perhaps? Disrespected?

The guy that told you about women trash in a post above mine is correct. You will score only trash and trash that has been hurt almost beyond repair, which is worse than just trash.

The level of your delusion is adorable though, you're so green you don't even know but you think you're so smart....it's LOL....i mean just this:

I can't be overweight and have to be competitive as far as money and careers on an ongoing basis to be a suitable choice.

Perhaps if you'd dare to find someone that loves you for who you are? But that requires effort, some soul searching and possibly a broken heart or two along the way. Much easier to pump some abs, put some powders in your body, buy a BMW and try your best at the local trash parlors.

 

[thesolar65]

I thing "Caring" should replace "Sharing"!! But the researcher's thought areee.....What can be done? Then came AIDS/VD!!

 

[livingdead]

Govt should not dictate how many wives or husbands you have. Let people decide for themselves.

 

[Bilal9]

Dude, use common sense. You walk with your girl, you like her (not even love), would you not feel a little bit embarrased if she kept staring at all the passing guys? Inadequate perhaps? Disrespected?

If I was insecure - I would be. but I'm not. If she finds someone better she can leave....

The guy that told you about women trash in a post above mine is correct. You will score only trash and trash that has been hurt almost beyond repair, which is worse than just trash.

No I haven't met any 'trashy' women yet, just highly educated and independent ones. Maybe I'm lucky - who knows?

Perhaps if you'd dare to find someone that loves you for who you are? But that requires effort, some soul searching and possibly a broken heart or two along the way. Much easier to pump some abs, put some powders in your body, buy a BMW and try your best at the local trash parlors.

Love as a 'trap' is way over-rated. It is less used by women to trap men nowadays.

BMW's (to get chicks), Gold Chains, Chest hair, Silk shirts, Trash Parlors - these are all 80's era concepts. I don't know how those apply in today's world where women earn the same (or more) as men, are just as qualified (or more) and choose men based on attractiveness, earning capacity (to maintain lifestyles) and not simply love.

You're missing the fundamental point - women are not dependent on men anymore for their 'maintenance'. They can make it on their own. There is no need to 'trap' men.

I don't want to get into a verbal pissing contest with you. Let's just agree to disagree, shall we?

 

[VCheng]

Sir,why one woman deserves to be called ones wife with whom he shares everything,where as other as mistress?
Either one should stick to have one spouse only,and if not,than that person must give that other woman a status of respect as well.Laws must be equal for everyone.

regards

My response to this post of yours was deleted without any explanation. The question was valid, but apparently too uncomfortable to contemplate.

 

[Slav Defence]

My response to this post of yours was deleted without any explanation. The question was valid, but apparently too uncomfortable to contemplate.

What about londis and "those which your right hand possesses"?

That was a general talk,be it slave or anyone else.She should be given equal rights,but you as usual didn't miss a single chance to relate it unnecessarily with religion.
Your post was deleted b/c you were concluding from my post as if it was result of some reading from maulana brigade.
Can't I speak what is right as general context?Is this necessary that I am talking about equality of rights b/c it has to do something with religion. Tomorrow if I will say that female trafficking is illegal then again you will drag it with religion?Now you will play smart and speak as if where have you mentioned it?then I will respond back with hints you gave,then you will deny as a consequence of which real topic will be derailed and every tom,dick and harry will jump in hence abusing stuff ,thus leading to this thread as closed.
P.S spare this thread atleast.

regards