men generally fear to approach ladies in
public-yet-not-crowded settings ( job interviews, offices, bookshops, etc ) because... (1). they think that the lady ( esp. in south asia ) will be outraged at their approach and will gather others and get them ( our man ) beaten black and blue, (2). they don't know what to say.
#1 generally doesn't happen, and won't happen if you negate #2... some of the below tactics is from personal experience... use
for job interviews... you are new to this setting and so is the lady... if you were waiting before the lady entered, you should have been holding a quiet but confident face and posture... look into her eyes, and keeping doing that occasionally ( not too much ) after she has sat... if you entered and she had been waiting, you can find ways to begin a conversation with her... like, with a shy smile, ask how long the interview had been going on... if both of you had been waiting for some time, she would be bored too... that gives you good chance to smile at her and shyly complain about the time... you can also talk about the topics she knows and those you know...
in case she looks arrogant, and doesn't say a word to you or anyone, don't worry... either you will humanly lose interest in her, or if you are still interested, say something... if she responds rudely or doesn't respond... say another thing but with a sad smile... that puts the guilt on her... there will be hope yet... employ the first paragraph.
if there's more than one lady candidates there, shyly look into eyes of all of them, once or twice, but do the previous two paragraphs with one... if you are able to begin talking to one of them, the other ladies will want to talk to you as well...
if there are male candidates, be confident in talking to them... and then invite the ladies to join the conversation... do so with a shy smile... and use the previous three paragraphs.
remember, this is a job interview and you may not see her again, so you must gently but confidently become more known to her... at the end, hopefully, you will get a promise of her meeting you again... or even better, invite her for a cup of tea at a nearby tea-house or tea-stall... and cofidently but gently, carry on the conversation.
for offices... it is a familiar setting, so you may know the lady, however remotely... if you have never spoken to her, at least keep looking at her and make sure she sees you doing that... hold her gaze for as long as possible... and if possible, smile gently and bow... most times, the bowing will make her smile [ this can be employed in many other settings ]... since you are in a office and she is too, she will stay at least for the day ( technically ), but if she is a visitor you must move fast... find things to say to her... like, if she is your height or taller, pass by her once or twice using some excuse, and then say that you thought she was taller than you... say this in a gently-surprised tone... if you are in the lunch room, and she comes in with her female friend, listen to their conversation carefully... and then confidently use their conversation to begin your conversation with
them... that will allow you to later talk personally with her... you can also say, in surprised tone, that she looks thinner and
has she been unwell... it should be this... thin females are unwell... but she may become happy that you told her she looks thin, or she may retort "nothing like that"... that may begin a conversation right then, or it will set up chance to later talk to her... you can of course get yourself introduced to her through a common aquaintance... another is that you become the leader in the office... a real political leader... talk of starting an employees union... become a socialist, talk of justice... this should be sincere... you should be really talking of justice... don't worry about you being junior in age or number of years there ( tenure )... you have the right to question and suggest... talk with confidence yet listen to others, their worries, their cases... don't be afraid of asking them about their worries... don't be afraid of pointing out solutions... these solutions should be of common sense... no one can legally prevent you from forming a employees union... it is international law... use it... use it for sincere justice... use it to build yourself admiration among the ladies.
for bookshops... you may be new there or a regular... she may be too... spend some time searching the book-racks near her... and use the best thing available there... books... ask her about some book section you are interested in, or ask about specific books... she may point out the computer-based catalog ( database ) available there... such a computer is there in many bookshops... express thanks expressly but gently and with a smile... that is the start to your conversation, which you will use later... there indeed may be unformed employees of the bookshop... adjust your question to her according to the employees' presence... adjust your question to her also according to the space between the book-racks... once you begin the second conversation, continue it confidently but shyly for as long as possible... and then invite her to read your favorite topic of books... please no strange topic like "transcendental meditation" or no silly line of books like "star wars"... she will become scared and use some excuse to escape... one good topic is "politics"... again, "socialism" is a good topic because it shows real passion in you... talk of socialism in practical and scientific and rational manner... listen to her questions and doubts carefully... respect her questions by answering them scientifically... use historical examples or current events... get her involved in your talkings... remember, this is a bookshop and you may not see her again, so you must gently but confidently become more known to her... at the end, hopefully, you will get a promise of her meeting you again... or even better, invite her for a cup of tea at a nearby tea-house or tea-stall... and cofidently but gently, carry on the conversation.
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in all three situations, never talk arrogantly or behave arrogantly... be confident, have pride in yourself, be gentle, be really respectful of everyone there.
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KingMamba @
Dem!god your opinion on this...
in fact, i didn't know this, in the western world, there has been a recent revival of the cravat... though the man should carry the cravat, else will be a disaster...
but one should be confident in carrying the cravat... one's life and manner should the cravat... if you decide to go for it, never use the silly velcro-strap "pre-tied" type... always use a scarf, either silk with cotton backing ( to make it heavy ) or silk/wool mix... i wear cravat on the open shirt ( without a suit ), looks much better that way.
with tea...
