My first experience on a Matrimonial Website and What i have learnt, experienced so far

[Yaseen1]

these websites are waste of time and mostly fake you should contact rishta aunty if serious to find good spouse

 

[halupridol]

This is something i never ever thought i would do in a million years. The whole idea and concept terrified me and for me i thought it was the platform of the last resort and a place where people lie and where mostly the most unattractive options gather.

My therapist strongly suggested i do something to move on from my crush not being reciprocated and suggested that perhaps registering for a Matrimonial website could be a good step. She was like whats the harm in it, you have nothing to lose and you don't have to commit to anyone at gunpoint.

So i decided to give it a try and i went behind my parents back and fully uploaded my bio data, my pictures, my hobbies, height, weight, education, field e.t.c and went in with the attitude to see lets see what the response, feedback is. I did not lie about my age and i told the truth that i will be 34 years old this year.

For partner preferences i chose the age range from 18 to 26, for the list of countries interested i mentioned Canada, USA, UK, UAE and Pakistan. For desired language i included English, Urdu, Hindi, Punjabi, Pashto, Balochi, Sindhi. Education, Cast, Sect i left doesn't matter. For marital status i chose never married.

The results have been interesting, i have received decent responses from girls and parents/siblings of girls between 20-25, but the bulk of the responses i have received from girls in their late 20's, early 30's from Canada, USA, UK.

To my surprise there are actually some pretty cute looking girls online, atleast way more than i expected initially and even better there are a lot of girls who may not necessarily have fashion model looks but are very easy going and nice to converse with.

One of the challenges has been is that some of the girls operating their own accounts demand instant commitment i.e. we are only going to talk in detail if you are actually serious and committed towards marrying me, get your parents involved immediately and i try to reason with them that i cannot do that until i spend some time getting to know you, understand what you look like, what your personality is like, how do you speak and carry yourself.

I have made a few really good female friends from UAE, Pakistan and India where we talk freely about our lives, experiences, daily routine, worries e.t.c. and where there is no expectation from either side and both of us are fine with just being friends. Initially i used to have a very negative opinion of girls in their late 20's and early 30's being single and unmarried because my elders mostly influenced my thought process i.e. these girls are too modern, these girls are hardcore feminists man haters, these girls will keep you on a leash and are going to be completely set in their ways. But nope, after speaking to some of these women, i have actually come to respect and admire them even more, a lot of girls have had to shoulder immense responsibilities that i could only dream off and have had to face unfortunate circumstances for e.g. dad passed away due to a stroke when she was young, the family went through financial hardship and she had to compromise on her dream of pursuing medicine and had to put food on the table, earn enough to get the rest of her siblings settled. Fingers crossed whether the stories are true or not.

But the app has also exposed me to certain questions and dilemmas i never thought i would need to deal with. For e.g. there were 1-2 really cute attractive girls around 22-23 years old i was speaking with and they were demanding an instant commitment from me, but their education shockingly upon learning was b.com at best and i could tell from their pics that they came from extremely poor families. I come from a highly educated family where both my folks are doctors and all my aunts, uncles, no one is less than a PHD, Doctor, Engineer, Architect, MBA or runs their own business and i know it will just not fly with my family. So after interacting with a couple of those people, i updated my profile and insisted that a potential partner needs to have a decent level of education or needs to be looking to pursue an education.

Naturally the profiles being operated by parents and siblings, it is natural to expect them to demand commitment up front and demanding to speak to parents, but what ticks me off is that they dont even have the courage to upload 1-2 pictures of their daughters online and i tell these parents very honestly look i need to see a pic or two otherwise this conversation is over.

But yes, the app also reinforced some of my fears as well. It indeed by and large is a platform for people who don't have a lot of options. In the West it is understandable why Pak and Indian families use it because of such a limited community. As i feared a lot of girls list their age as 23-24, list extremely old pics and upon looking at their actual pic you easily get the impression that they are lieing about their age and are actually in their 30's. Some women listing their age as 29-30, when you look at their pics you can tell they are approaching 40. One very attractive girl from Peshawar i was speaking to had listed her age as 25-26 and after speaking to her for a bit, she had a guilty attack and was like listen i dont want to waste your time anymore, i have lied about my age, i am actually 33 years old. I didn't admonish her or anything, just politely in a joking manner queried why would she do that, why not tell the truth and she was like you don't understand how hard it is for women and if they list their age as 32-33, they are going to get hit on by 45-50 years old individuals and she wants someone in their 20's to early 30's and guys like me demand girls around 23-26 which creates problems for her.

Some girls and parents criticized me for why am i using this App if i wasn't interested in marrying asap. I explained to them it is not that i don't want to marry, i do but i need to be sure and it is not like i am desperate or anything. They then criticized me for using the App and platform unethically and that my approach of going through profiles and girls one by one was sexually predatorial. Its funny no one criticizes a really attractive girl with plenty of options for having the right to decide when to speak to a guy, when to start ignoring him.

Anyways by and large i am still circumspect. I insist on a phonecall conversation with the girl as well because i have done that to a few girls and to my shock, their voices clearly indicated they belonged to extremely uneducated, impoverished backgrounds and that they were not who they appeared to be when being chatted with.

For me this is just a platform to see what else is out there and to help me move on from my unrequited crush. But i have to admit there has been a huge improvement in my self esteem and ego, i haven't lied about my age of 34 but the vast majority of girls, parents commented in disbelief that you don't look 34 at all and that we felt you were 25-26 at least which is inline with what the ***** and gori's feel about me here in Canada.

Looking forward to being mocked, criticized, riddiculed and being made fun off now lol

Been there,,done that

 

[Type59]

Thanks for posting this thread. The people that are mocking you are idiots. Feel sorry for their spouses.

 

[Zibago]

Most profiles have sanjeeda log rabta karein on their wall
@RealNapster @Tps43 @Moonlight
On women lying about their age well
God bless NADRA

Apni phuppo ko bolein beti dedeingi.

Jis ney do mahiney pehly tumhein bhai bola?

 

[Ahmet Pasha]

I have taken a vow of chastity
Qissa khatam

 

[RealNapster]

Most profiles have sanjeeda log rabta karein on their wall

Or inhi ki profile akheer qism ki ghair sanjeeda hoti...

 

[I S I]

Jis ney do mahiney pehly tumhein bhai bola?

Pehle bhai ab Bae

 

[Tps43]

Most profiles have sanjeeda log rabta karein on their wall
@RealNapster @Tps43 @Moonlight
On women lying about their age well
God bless NADRA


Jis ney do mahiney pehly tumhein bhai bola?

I don’t get it why women are sensitive about there age
Mahnoor baloch her dekhlo itni piyari lakin age nhi chupai

 

[Zibago]

Or inhi ki profile akheer qism ki ghair sanjeeda hoti...

6foot fair skinned Sunni Rajput with phoron job and house

Pehle bhai ab Bae

Bay ye bay chay ye chay

 

[I S I]

Bay ye bay chay ye chay

Make me a sandwich baji baby

 

[Trango Towers]

these websites are waste of time and mostly fake you should contact rishta aunty if serious to find good spouse

I hope you are not rista uncle looooool

 

[313ghazi]

We need proper verification on these sites to keep the tarki types off.

 

[Nilgiri]

@Savak, tell the girl beside you that you love her. Don't just say you love her. Take her into your arms, hold her tight, kiss her and then say you love her.

Gotta be careful about that kinda stuff in this age of meetoo (form our end), unless you have good grasp of the body language.

From other direction its ok tho, this was song that inspired my better half to get bolder with me (glad she did!), lest I slip away...:

Ur comment reminded me of it hah.

 

[Bouncer]

This is something i never ever thought i would do in a million years. The whole idea and concept terrified me and for me i thought it was the platform of the last resort and a place where people lie and where mostly the most unattractive options gather.

My therapist strongly suggested i do something to move on from my crush not being reciprocated and suggested that perhaps registering for a Matrimonial website could be a good step. She was like whats the harm in it, you have nothing to lose and you don't have to commit to anyone at gunpoint.

So i decided to give it a try and i went behind my parents back and fully uploaded my bio data, my pictures, my hobbies, height, weight, education, field e.t.c and went in with the attitude to see lets see what the response, feedback is. I did not lie about my age and i told the truth that i will be 34 years old this year.

For partner preferences i chose the age range from 18 to 26, for the list of countries interested i mentioned Canada, USA, UK, UAE and Pakistan. For desired language i included English, Urdu, Hindi, Punjabi, Pashto, Balochi, Sindhi. Education, Cast, Sect i left doesn't matter. For marital status i chose never married.

The results have been interesting, i have received decent responses from girls and parents/siblings of girls between 20-25, but the bulk of the responses i have received from girls in their late 20's, early 30's from Canada, USA, UK.

To my surprise there are actually some pretty cute looking girls online, atleast way more than i expected initially and even better there are a lot of girls who may not necessarily have fashion model looks but are very easy going and nice to converse with.

One of the challenges has been is that some of the girls operating their own accounts demand instant commitment i.e. we are only going to talk in detail if you are actually serious and committed towards marrying me, get your parents involved immediately and i try to reason with them that i cannot do that until i spend some time getting to know you, understand what you look like, what your personality is like, how do you speak and carry yourself.

I have made a few really good female friends from UAE, Pakistan and India where we talk freely about our lives, experiences, daily routine, worries e.t.c. and where there is no expectation from either side and both of us are fine with just being friends. Initially i used to have a very negative opinion of girls in their late 20's and early 30's being single and unmarried because my elders mostly influenced my thought process i.e. these girls are too modern, these girls are hardcore feminists man haters, these girls will keep you on a leash and are going to be completely set in their ways. But nope, after speaking to some of these women, i have actually come to respect and admire them even more, a lot of girls have had to shoulder immense responsibilities that i could only dream off and have had to face unfortunate circumstances for e.g. dad passed away due to a stroke when she was young, the family went through financial hardship and she had to compromise on her dream of pursuing medicine and had to put food on the table, earn enough to get the rest of her siblings settled. Fingers crossed whether the stories are true or not.

But the app has also exposed me to certain questions and dilemmas i never thought i would need to deal with. For e.g. there were 1-2 really cute attractive girls around 22-23 years old i was speaking with and they were demanding an instant commitment from me, but their education shockingly upon learning was b.com at best and i could tell from their pics that they came from extremely poor families. I come from a highly educated family where both my folks are doctors and all my aunts, uncles, no one is less than a PHD, Doctor, Engineer, Architect, MBA or runs their own business and i know it will just not fly with my family. So after interacting with a couple of those people, i updated my profile and insisted that a potential partner needs to have a decent level of education or needs to be looking to pursue an education.

Naturally the profiles being operated by parents and siblings, it is natural to expect them to demand commitment up front and demanding to speak to parents, but what ticks me off is that they dont even have the courage to upload 1-2 pictures of their daughters online and i tell these parents very honestly look i need to see a pic or two otherwise this conversation is over.

But yes, the app also reinforced some of my fears as well. It indeed by and large is a platform for people who don't have a lot of options. In the West it is understandable why Pak and Indian families use it because of such a limited community. As i feared a lot of girls list their age as 23-24, list extremely old pics and upon looking at their actual pic you easily get the impression that they are lieing about their age and are actually in their 30's. Some women listing their age as 29-30, when you look at their pics you can tell they are approaching 40. One very attractive girl from Peshawar i was speaking to had listed her age as 25-26 and after speaking to her for a bit, she had a guilty attack and was like listen i dont want to waste your time anymore, i have lied about my age, i am actually 33 years old. I didn't admonish her or anything, just politely in a joking manner queried why would she do that, why not tell the truth and she was like you don't understand how hard it is for women and if they list their age as 32-33, they are going to get hit on by 45-50 years old individuals and she wants someone in their 20's to early 30's and guys like me demand girls around 23-26 which creates problems for her.

Some girls and parents criticized me for why am i using this App if i wasn't interested in marrying asap. I explained to them it is not that i don't want to marry, i do but i need to be sure and it is not like i am desperate or anything. They then criticized me for using the App and platform unethically and that my approach of going through profiles and girls one by one was sexually predatorial. Its funny no one criticizes a really attractive girl with plenty of options for having the right to decide when to speak to a guy, when to start ignoring him.

Anyways by and large i am still circumspect. I insist on a phonecall conversation with the girl as well because i have done that to a few girls and to my shock, their voices clearly indicated they belonged to extremely uneducated, impoverished backgrounds and that they were not who they appeared to be when being chatted with.

For me this is just a platform to see what else is out there and to help me move on from my unrequited crush. But i have to admit there has been a huge improvement in my self esteem and ego, i haven't lied about my age of 34 but the vast majority of girls, parents commented in disbelief that you don't look 34 at all and that we felt you were 25-26 at least which is inline with what the ***** and gori's feel about me here in Canada.

Looking forward to being mocked, criticized, riddiculed and being made fun off now lol

Good for you man if it helped you with your self esteem and ego.

That being said, there's a lot of fraudiye out there. Your approach is a 100% on spot. Do not commit to anyone. That's a problem in our culture unfortunately that women expect you to commit for life after talking to you for like 5 minutes. There is no concept of getting to know each other. Our arranged marriage / rishta wali aunty process perpetuates it. I'd suggest you stick to your guns. Talk, explore and take your time before you settle on someone FOR LIFE.

Now before anyone starts hating on me for this rishta aunty or arranged marriage comment, every system has its own problems and good things. Not here to debate that.

 

[War Thunder]

Interesting.
My perception of the said apps and sites.
They are designed around the basic flaw in our society and the world at large.
It's all about looks, you pick who you want to talk to or even consider based on their picture which hardly tells anything about their character and soul.

I wish there were apps or cameras that could measure ones link to their creator but there really aren't and I would personally stay clear of anything that is based around shallow folk highlighting themselves based on their outer selves and other shallow folk picking the ones to their liking, and obsessing over them.


I'm still amazed though that you are 34 and want to marry some one who is in early 20's. You mean you want to marry a kid and a whole decade younger than your own generation. Not that anything is wrong with the intention, but keeping that as a preference and being ignorant to the idea of how a mature woman can be a better partner to any "man" who is a real man and how she can help him develop, is kinda sad but unfortunately what persists in the shallow society and people we live amongst.


Just my take on things, not trying to make you feel bad or anything.
And in the end, you will be with the one who your lord has sent down to be with you. And she will be a reflection of who you are down under. So keep your focus on being better to attract better.


Embedding this video once again for anyone who might want to learn