Kinda a little off topic, this sh*t been eating me for a long time

[Solidify]

Oh I am forgetting you are NOT in a western country where these services are available, I take it

 

[newb3e]

since this is a defence forum larka apna hatyaar seedha kar aur confidence keh sath guss jaa!

 

[Catalystic]

OP needs to go seel medical help asap……I’d advise to not get into any relationships until you sort yourself out
Don’t destroy someone else’s life(girl) due to your own issues. Please ask your family to take you to psychologist/psychiatrist etc wherever you all live. ASAP

 

[313ghazi]

It's whan

Love story gone wrong: Missing MP woman arrested trying to cross border to marry Pakistani man

The MP woman claimed to be in love with Pakistani man and wanted to marry him; she was arrested at the Attari-Wagah border

www.google.com

Now why is it that we are never able to connect with our pakistani gals while call it a luck or god's gift, as soon as u meet a girl other than pakistani don juan or casanova awakens in us above is a one example, I know myself still afraid of talking to pakistani girls but put some other girl hardly a game of 30 mints, and its not just me its the story of almost every friend of mine, WHY IS THAT. ANY PSYCHOLOGIST HERE

You're scared of what happens when her brothers catch you.

Lol

 

[-blitzkrieg-]

Go for nude bars or lap dance joints, that will calm your stuff where it matters.

However online dating is 0 almost a battle ground in reality in connecting opposite genders.

 

[Olympus81]

Most of the connection a Pakistani boy does is with his own cousin sister and he ends up marrying her.

 

[YaqoobAlam]

Girls back home still have the conservative cloak and hence it will affect how they speak to the opposite sex. Here it is different and our women do get chatty but there is still that shyness, as they know it can lead to more i.e. marriage match etc. I guess when there is more to play for the more nervous they get. If you note their interactions with others both female and male they are normal.

Sir that is so true! In fact, this lady appears to be very confident. She is like the leader of her group. But somehow that day things went south for her. Few days later, while it was off-time, very crowded and I was waiting for my bus, her friend brought herself in my line of sight. I was like "I have seen this girl somewhere." She smiled and went aside. Then her friend, my very junior, appeared and they both started a staring competition with me while I covered my face with my arm and was trying to look at them. I was pretty nervous and shy myself then.

 

[Falcon34]

I’ve never had a problem talking to girls because i’m naturally funny.

Also there’s a lot scarier things out there in the world. So if your scared of talking to a girl then good luck with the rest of your life.

The problem lies with pakistani girls, i've had quite a lot of success with western woman, with them process is smooth but pakistani lord's knows whats wrong with.

Go for nude bars or lap dance joints, that will calm your stuff where it matters.

However online dating is 0 almost a battle ground in reality in connecting opposite genders.

dude come on seriously, my problem are not girls, i just had a query that why the **** i roll well with western girls and shit my pants when it comes pakistani one's, woman are not a problem for me, never have been.

 

[jamesisi]

Pakistani women’s are the most weirdest when come to choosing , loving ,romance, personality and behaviour wise..
Somethings are really strange about them from the start they will ask you for gifts expensive possibly eg gold jewellery /Most expensive mobile phone or clothes , A western women will never ask you for them.
They are suspicious of the relationship so they depend on their mother for guidance.
Their aim is to have a easy life where they have full freedom no one bother them have money in their account a big house and a car and they don’t work at all.
Love comes least of priority as they love to flirt with others and it’s done in the most creepy ways like cousins who pretends as a brother and yet something else is going on.
They will use their brain than their hearts to love someone that depends on cast,faith,colour of skin and wealth..just few examples..
You’ll never get honesty out of them and it will be like she’s the victim all the time.
Good luck bro in tempting one.

 

[villageidiot]

I agree with you lol, there's a different feeling with Pakistani women than with other women
at least in the US, I become automatically more "reserved" I guess when I am meeting or talking to em, it's not the same with other women from any other country

I don't know why

i have a theory. it may be due to the language. idk why I feel more comfortable talking about stuff in English than in Urdu, such as when chatting. even when the other person is perfectly capable of understanding urdu.

 

[jaibi]

I thought i read somewhere that @jaibi sb. is a psychologist?

Guilty as charged, sir

 

[jaibi]

What can i do man, its quite hard not to when other party's literally inviting u in 'em, though u can be a sigma to pakistani gals they are a differnt lot, They scare the shit out of me man and its not me only who feels this way almost every british or irish pakistani i know feels the same way and i am trying to find the reason for it @jaibi, u a psychologist, if u are can u shed some light on this matter.

Well, this is something that's been egging on the most recent generation to grow up. The reasons are as many as one wants to make them! In my experience, if you look at the PEW research data all over the world then the millennials (1984-95) and gen-z (95-2010) and the upcoming ones have been exposed to more information via technology than ever possible in history and that does things to you. Is there something specifically wrong with Pakistani girls? They seem to say the same about their Pakistani counterparts. So what is wrong?
Firstly, the removal of cross gender schooling (not going into the ideology of it but pointing out the research) is a factor, most Pakistanis cannot see another person beyond their gender. This makes it difficult for them to appreciate the much more common human experiences that connect us rather than make us different. This is especially true as most Pakistani students are segregated young then forced to study together after puberty taking away the time where they can normalise the other gender beyond family.

Secondly, there should be no doubt that we live in a repressed society. Normalcy of maturity is to recognise empathy (feelings) beyond ones blood relatives. At the same time we also are surrounded by a romance obsessed culture, think of what 99% of entertainment is based on and this isn't by some nefarious design but simple demand. Every little girl is looking for her dashing knight and every little boy for his princess to rescue. But the real world is messy, far from these ideals. So what's the result? A very unhealthy dynamic of gender relation.
Thirdly, the problem you'll see will come in responses to my post. Instead of letting wisdom of research or insight guide us, our people feel are more prone to look for sentimental answers. Such as, getting heart broken over rejection and wasting ones life in melodramatic music, think of the devdas archetype, they still exist. Or worst yet, reacting with violence.
Fourthly, and this is personally addressed to you, I'd like to quote two things to you:

Seneca: 'we suffer more in our imagination than in reality'

Nietzsche: 'it is the lack of friendship and not love that makes most marriages fail'

Why do you and your friends want to talk to Pakistani girls? What is at the base of your desires? That's not an attack but often our minds deceive us. Is it that we cannot think of them as anything but potential mates? Doesn't that limit us? Is it that this motivation behind it is scaring you and your friends? Or do you fear rejection? If someone honestly isn't interested then why is it bad? In my therapeutic practice, people with fulfilling and happy marriages and relationships found it when they weren't looking. In fact the same is true for a lot of the world. Happiness seems to be a by product. For instance, if you fear being friendzoned as a lot of people are then why not be honest when you feel it? If rejection comes then let it, for it is, at least honest too, is it not? We often do things only if we've a guarantee of success but that defeats the purpose of initiative. I'd once a client who had been in a friendzone for a decade and couldn't walk away even after being told that the other side wasn't interested. Is the woman truly to blame here? Why could he not walk away? Well because he feared being unloved, the mind plays these tricks in face of true fear that it buries. He got out only by confronting this fear and how it is done is a topic for another day.

Lastly, relationships of all kinds are messy. People are messy. I think it's the insecurities we grow up with that limits us. The young men and women of Pakistan are too preoccupied with security but security comes in comfort only. It is not the realm of passion. Pain will come one way or another, even if it is in the mundaneness of being secure. A psychiatrist once wrote, 'the price of freedom is the same as that of true love. It is not that love or freedom is beyond our grasp but we do not wish to pay the price. And what is that price? Everything.' Casanovas and Jon Duans are superficial, they do not stay for long. If that is what you want then one can certainly walk down that path but it leads to a lack of fulfillment and the worst killer of the human spirit: regret. So what you're looking for will as for a price that does it justice, otherwise, you can always fall back on the safety of a path that is well traveled.

A complex and perhaps confusing answer, I must admit, brother but the question itself is quite a complex one too. I'd be of more help if I know your situation. This is by no means definitie but just my experience of helping people for over a decade. I sincerely hope that it helps.

 

[Menace2Society]

Pakistani women’s are the most weirdest when come to choosing , loving ,romance, personality and behaviour wise..
Somethings are really strange about them from the start they will ask you for gifts expensive possibly eg gold jewellery /Most expensive mobile phone or clothes , A western women will never ask you for them.
They are suspicious of the relationship so they depend on their mother for guidance.
Their aim is to have a easy life where they have full freedom no one bother them have money in their account a big house and a car and they don’t work at all.
Love comes least of priority as they love to flirt with others and it’s done in the most creepy ways like cousins who pretends as a brother and yet something else is going on.
They will use their brain than their hearts to love someone that depends on cast,faith,colour of skin and wealth..just few examples..
You’ll never get honesty out of them and it will be like she’s the victim all the time.
Good luck bro in tempting one.

Sounds psychopathic. I have spoken to a few, I find them obnoxious. I blame the men simping for them after listening to bollywood garbage.

 

[Falcon34]

Well, this is something that's been egging on the most recent generation to grow up. The reasons are as many as one wants to make them! In my experience, if you look at the PEW research data all over the world then the millennials (1984-95) and gen-z (95-2010) and the upcoming ones have been exposed to more information via technology than ever possible in history and that does things to you. Is there something specifically wrong with Pakistani girls? They seem to say the same about their Pakistani counterparts. So what is wrong?
Firstly, the removal of cross gender schooling (not going into the ideology of it but pointing out the research) is a factor, most Pakistanis cannot see another person beyond their gender. This makes it difficult for them to appreciate the much more common human experiences that connect us rather than make us different. This is especially true as most Pakistani students are segregated young then forced to study together after puberty taking away the time where they can normalise the other gender beyond family.

Secondly, there should be no doubt that we live in a repressed society. Normalcy of maturity is to recognise empathy (feelings) beyond ones blood relatives. At the same time we also are surrounded by a romance obsessed culture, think of what 99% of entertainment is based on and this isn't by some nefarious design but simple demand. Every little girl is looking for her dashing knight and every little boy for his princess to rescue. But the real world is messy, far from these ideals. So what's the result? A very unhealthy dynamic of gender relation.
Thirdly, the problem you'll see will come in responses to my post. Instead of letting wisdom of research or insight guide us, our people feel are more prone to look for sentimental answers. Such as, getting heart broken over rejection and wasting ones life in melodramatic music, think of the devdas archetype, they still exist. Or worst yet, reacting with violence.
Fourthly, and this is personally addressed to you, I'd like to quote two things to you:

Seneca: 'we suffer more in our imagination than in reality'

Nietzsche: 'it is the lack of friendship and not love that makes most marriages fail'

Why do you and your friends want to talk to Pakistani girls? What is at the base of your desires? That's not an attack but often our minds deceive us. Is it that we cannot think of them as anything but potential mates? Doesn't that limit us? Is it that this motivation behind it is scaring you and your friends? Or do you fear rejection? If someone honestly isn't interested then why is it bad? In my therapeutic practice, people with fulfilling and happy marriages and relationships found it when they weren't looking. In fact the same is true for a lot of the world. Happiness seems to be a by product. For instance, if you fear being friendzoned as a lot of people are then why not be honest when you feel it? If rejection comes then let it, for it is, at least honest too, is it not? We often do things only if we've a guarantee of success but that defeats the purpose of initiative. I'd once a client who had been in a friendzone for a decade and couldn't walk away even after being told that the other side wasn't interested. Is the woman truly to blame here? Why could he not walk away? Well because he feared being unloved, the mind plays these tricks in face of true fear that it buries. He got out only by confronting this fear and how it is done is a topic for another day.

Lastly, relationships of all kinds are messy. People are messy. I think it's the insecurities we grow up with that limits us. The young men and women of Pakistan are too preoccupied with security but security comes in comfort only. It is not the realm of passion. Pain will come one way or another, even if it is in the mundaneness of being secure. A psychiatrist once wrote, 'the price of freedom is the same as that of true love. It is not that love or freedom is beyond our grasp but we do not wish to pay the price. And what is that price? Everything.' Casanovas and Jon Duans are superficial, they do not stay for long. If that is what you want then one can certainly walk down that path but it leads to a lack of fulfillment and the worst killer of the human spirit: regret. So what you're looking for will as for a price that does it justice, otherwise, you can always fall back on the safety of a path that is well traveled.

A complex and perhaps confusing answer, I must admit, brother but the question itself is quite a complex one too. I'd be of more help if I know your situation. This is by no means definitie but just my experience of helping people for over a decade. I sincerely hope that it helps.

To be honest my problem with pakistani girls are not rejection or anything related to the realm of romance. its just there. I just connect with non pakistani's better, it has been like that from the days of uni, i just lose my confidence when it comes to them, its like all of a sudden i become an introvert person, which i am not, i am very social person, i party, have dated some irish ladies, i talk to clients but when it comes to them its just idk. about a month ago my mum told me to talk to my cousin and i blanked out, i could not utter a word. The point is i don't have these problems with non pakistani's but why with them.

 

[AlKardai]

buddy, it just looks like you have a serious simp moment whenever you see one.

To be honest my problem with pakistani girls are not rejection or anything related to the realm of romance. its just there. I just connect with non pakistani's better, it has been like that from the days of uni, i just lose my confidence when it comes to them, its like all of a sudden i become an introvert person, which i am not, i am very social person, i party, have dated some irish ladies, i talk to clients but when it comes to them its just idk. about a month ago my mum told me to talk to my cousin and i blanked out, i could not utter a word. The point is i don't have these problems with non pakistani's but why with them.

It's because Pakistani people, and women too, are still knee deep in religious tradition.
They know that a simple conversation with the opposite sex can eventually lead to marriage, so they are more likely to retain their shyness and reluctance to open up.
In the UK, things are a bit different, because a lot of the teenage girls my age tend to look for short term relationships due to the input of the west, etc etc.

So I personally have not experienced what you have, to the same degree