• Tuesday, August 4, 2020

The first wife syndrome!

Discussion in 'Strategic & Foreign Affairs' started by Norwegian, Feb 8, 2015.

  1. Norwegian

    Norwegian ELITE MEMBER

    Messages:
    11,742
    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Ratings:
    +20 / 17,797 / -11
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Norway
    [​IMG]
    The writer teaches History at Forman Christian College Lahore and tweets at @BangashYK.

    When I was a kid and the invasion of satellite and cable television had yet to happen, the only sources of television entertainment were either the state-run Pakistan Television(PTV) or beginning in the early 1990s, a private channel called NTM. Being near the border, our antenna could also catch the Indian state-run channel Doordarshan (DD). Therefore, every weekend our mainstay entertainment was watching films on either PTV orDD. A number of these films were based on social issues and I grew up acutely aware of the adverse effects of societal problems. One oft-repeated social issue was the question of a man marrying more than one wife. While in Islam, a man can marry up to four wives at any one time, in Pakistan this practice was, and is, considered culturally taboo. The public scandal caused by former prime minister Bogra’s second marriage obliquely led to the stipulation that the husband must get the written consent of the first wife before contracting a second marriage, yet the complications of the ‘second wife’— ‘doosri biwi’ — continued. Film after film showcased how the first wife felt neglected, dejected, and even abused after the coming in of the second. Usually, the first wife was shown to be older, old-fashioned and not as good looking as the second one to present an even starker difference. The point was, of course, that the husband was, in fact, a cruel man because he had left the faithful first wife forlorn and gone after the charms of the second one, which were at best fleeting.

    The best simple explanation of the relationship between Pakistan and the US is the analogy of the first wife and the husband. Pakistan is the faithful first wife, who is always ready to do her master’s bidding, but now the evil husband — the US — has been charmed by the shining India of Modi, the wicked second wife, and does not care about the first one. Anyone watching Pakistani news channels — and they are numerous — during the visit of the US president to India would be convinced of this reality. Programme after programme discussed how shameful it was for Pakistan that the American president was visiting India, but not Pakistan. Several pundits, including the ex-governor of Punjab Chaudhry Mohammad Sarwar, opined that the fact that Obama did not visit Pakistan was a foreign policy “failure”. Many TV shows trashed the Nawaz Sharif government for this debacle and demanded its resignation. Even the terminology we use to explain our relationship with the US gives a dejected first wife feeling. We feel ‘betrayed’ by America time and again despite having done its bidding, but it has not been ‘faithful’ to us. Quite simply, it just sounds like a bad marriage.

    Now imagine another scenario: that of President Obama visiting France but not Germany. Imagine German Chancellor Angela Merkel being blasted on all TV channels for not making a US president’s visit possible. Sounds ridiculous? It does indeed to me.

    Simply put: Pakistan will not develop as a country and become a stable member of the world comity unless it sheds its India-centric foreign (and even domestic) policy. None of India’s neighbours do it to the extent we do it, and unless we stop obsessing about India all the time, we will never move on. Obsession with India over everything has less to do with our real and imagined threat from India, and more to do with the fact that we have yet to move on from the ‘Partition moment’ and develop an independent identity, which is not tied to India behaving in a particular manner. If a lot of our actions are just reactions to India, and not our independent decisions, we will always be beholden to India and its behaviour. For a country so concerned about its ‘sovereignty’ and ‘integrity’, I am surprised that we are not ashamed of this attitude of ours. The news from India is also not encouraging from our perspective on this count. Since the coming in of the Modi Sarkar, the government has practically decided to ignore Pakistan, and wants little to do with us. Secondly, as evident during Obama’s visit, India is no longer ‘trying’ to become a regional power. Modi’s mannerism and approach to the visit clearly showed that India now assumes that it is a regional power, and that it is now vying for world power and influence. This ‘ignore Pakistan’ policy and ‘moving on’ from regional power games will also have implications for Pakistan and in fact make Pakistan’s stance even more sad and, dare I say, pathetic.

    So shall we stop being the miserable first wife of the US and a country obsessed with India, and grow up and develop our country on a sounder, more pragmatic basis?

    Published in The Express Tribune, February 7th, 2015.

    Like Opinion & Editorial on Facebook, follow @ETOpEd on Twitter to receive all updates on all our daily pieces.
    The first wife syndrome – The Express Tribune

    An excellent masterpiece on why Pakistan's foreign policy has been such a disaster all along!

    @Etilla @SpArK @Srinivas @desert warrior @DRAY @pumkinduke @wolfpack @pursuit of happiness @danish_vij @rubyjackass @Star Wars @Ammyy @bloo @Marxist @karan.1970 @Not Sure @Arav_Rana @Avik274 @SamantK @Major Shaitan Singh @Omega007 @farhan_9909 @haviZsultan @Sidak @ranjeet @Yogijaat @ravi Nair @WAR-rior @halupridol @he-man @Indrani @Mike_Brando @SarthakGanguly @sreekumar @OrionHunter @lightoftruth @Water Car Engineer @indiatester @Ind4Ever @13 komaun @anant_s @itachiii @SwAggeR @Brahmos_2 @jaiind @Blue_Eyes @bhangi bava @SAMEET @naveen mishra @Bagha @utraash @Chanakya's_Chant @Krate M @gslv mk3 @r1_vns @blood @noksss @kurup @PARIKRAMA @thesolar65 @Rohit Patel @wolfschanzze @levina @vostok @rahi2357
     
  2. Ind4Ever

    Ind4Ever BANNED

    Messages:
    3,580
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2015
    Ratings:
    +5 / 3,855 / -8
    Country:
    India
    Location:
    India
    He looks like RAW agent :P
     
  3. halupridol

    halupridol SENIOR MEMBER

    Messages:
    6,044
    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2013
    Ratings:
    +2 / 7,112 / -36
    Country:
    India
    Location:
    India
    Kya yaar,,,,yeh tv waley toh kuch bhi dikhate hae,,trp.chobis ghante kya news dikhaenge,,,,isiliye yeh sara masala
     
  4. SQ8

    SQ8 ADVISORS

    Messages:
    33,127
    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2009
    Ratings:
    +333 / 65,569 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Pakistan
    He is not wrong, but sense takes a lot of time to prevail.
     
  5. Norwegian

    Norwegian ELITE MEMBER

    Messages:
    11,742
    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Ratings:
    +20 / 17,797 / -11
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Norway
    Can you explain why Pakistan since 1947 has had India-centric foreign policy continuosly?
     
  6. naveen mishra

    naveen mishra FULL MEMBER

    Messages:
    1,474
    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2013
    Ratings:
    +3 / 1,530 / -10
    Country:
    India
    Location:
    Indonesia
    actually TRP ka drama hai........much hyped than reality
     
  7. Ind4Ever

    Ind4Ever BANNED

    Messages:
    3,580
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2015
    Ratings:
    +5 / 3,855 / -8
    Country:
    India
    Location:
    India
    That's lots of Bollywood Movie :lol:

    Usually, the first wife was shown to be older, old-fashioned and not as good looking as the second one to present an even starker difference. The point was, ofcourse, that the husband was, in fact, a cruel man because he had left the faithful first wife forlorn and gone after the charms of the second one, which were at bestfleeting.

    The best simple explanation of therelationship between Pakistan and the USis the analogy of the first wife and the husband. Pakistan is the faithful first wife, who is always ready to do her master’s bidding, but now the evil husband — the US — has been charmed by the shining India of Modi, the wicked second wife, and does not care about the first one. Anyone watching Pakistani news channels — and they are numerous — during the visit of the US president to India would be convinced of this reality. Programme after programme discussed how shameful it was for Pakistan that the American president was visiting India, but not Pakistan. Several pundits, including the ex-governor of Punjab Chaudhry Mohammad Sarwar, opined that the fact that Obama did not visit Pakistan was a foreign policy “failure”. Many TV shows trashed the Nawaz Sharif government for this debacle and demanded its resignation. Even the terminology we use to explain our relationship with the US gives a dejected first wife feeling. We feel ‘betrayed’ by America time and again despite having done its bidding, but it has not been ‘faithful’ to us. Quite simply, it just sounds like a bad marriage.
     
  8. SQ8

    SQ8 ADVISORS

    Messages:
    33,127
    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2009
    Ratings:
    +333 / 65,569 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Pakistan
    Blame Mountbatten and Nehru for ensuring an unfair partition to both sides even if they were acting out of their own perceived interests. A properly done partition without leaving the issues of water, Kashmir and other areas would have painted a very different future for the two countries. Pakistan's insecurity is directly due to it being made an amputee at partition.. something that ended up giving India a paranoid and hostile neighbour from day 1.
     
  9. Norwegian

    Norwegian ELITE MEMBER

    Messages:
    11,742
    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Ratings:
    +20 / 17,797 / -11
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Norway
    Sounds like Palestine-Israel conflict. Palestinians too blame UN's 1947 partition plan as "unfair" and the main reason for their ills to this day :(
     
  10. manojb

    manojb FULL MEMBER

    Messages:
    1,943
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2009
    Ratings:
    +6 / 1,459 / -0
    Country:
    India
    Location:
    United States
    @RiazHaq can you please refute this also please
     
  11. third eye

    third eye ELITE MEMBER

    Messages:
    18,372
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2008
    Ratings:
    +25 / 24,555 / -11
    Country:
    India
    Location:
    India
    While I concede that the problems we face today are a result of poorly executed partition.

    On the part in bold above - why did Jinnah accept the partition if it was so one sided as suggested ?

    The First wife Syndrome
     
  12. RiazHaq

    RiazHaq SENIOR MEMBER

    Messages:
    5,437
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Ratings:
    +61 / 6,157 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    United States
    This man Bangash doesn't seem to understand post Cold War post-911 changing geopolitics, nor does he understand regional realignment in South Asia region that will likely intensify, not lessen, India-Pakistan rivalry.

    All the signs indicate that the US will continue to be engaged militarily, economically and diplomatically in the region. Part of the motivation will be to try and deal with potential threats to the American homeland from possible resurgence of Al Qaeda and its affiliates in Afghanistan and Pakistan. But the other part is the more ambitious effort to maintain US economic and diplomatic power and influence in Asia.

    Haq's Musings: Impact of Obama's Re-election on Pak-US Ties
     
  13. SwAggeR

    SwAggeR SENIOR MEMBER

    Messages:
    2,992
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2013
    Ratings:
    +0 / 3,489 / -13
    Country:
    India
    Location:
    India
    Until stark reality of LoC sinks in,pakistan be better get ready to be ignored even more by India. We are busy sealing our borders even more with Pakistan. Various crossings are to get bullet proof gates . New advanced techs would be used and upgraded continuously until percolation from border drops to zero.It won't come as surprise if in future we erect some structure like China wall on whole border. It's matter of time only.
     
  14. RiazHaq

    RiazHaq SENIOR MEMBER

    Messages:
    5,437
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Ratings:
    +61 / 6,157 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    United States
     
  15. SQ8

    SQ8 ADVISORS

    Messages:
    33,127
    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2009
    Ratings:
    +333 / 65,569 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Pakistan
    Haste, he was worried that the British may not give partition under the guise of "unworkable solution".