• Thursday, August 6, 2020

Stupid and Funny from all over the world

Discussion in 'General Photos & Multimedia' started by xebex, Jul 2, 2009.

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  1. krash

    krash MODERATOR

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    ^^^ post 7306---> Bloody awesome!
     
  2. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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  3. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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    Marine Corps Rules:
    1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
    2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
    3. Have a plan.
    4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
    5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet * even your friendsÂ…
    6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
    7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
    8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
    9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
    10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
    11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
    12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
    13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.


    Navy SEAL's Rules:
    1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
    2. Kill every living thing within view.
    3. Adjust speedo.
    4. Check hair in mirror.


    US Army Rangers Rules:
    1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
    2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
    3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
    4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
    5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.


    US Army Rules:
    1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
    2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
    3. Curse bitterly.
    4. Curse bitterly.
    5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.
    6. Curse bitterly.


    US Air Force Rules:
    1. Have a cocktail.
    2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
    3. See what's on HBO.
    4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
    5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
    6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
    7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
    8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
    9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
    10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.


    US Navy Rules:
    1. Go to Sea.
    2. Drink Coffee.
    3. Deploy Marines

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    SECURE
    The reason the U.S. Armed forces have difficulty in coordinating and cooperating with each other is that they do not use the same jargon and misunderstandings frequently occur. For example...

    If you tell the Navy to secure a building, they will simply turn out the lights and lock the door.

    If you tell the Army to secure a building, they will occupy the structure and permit only persons with the proper pass to enter.

    If you tell the Air Force to secure a building, they will take out a three year lease with an option to buy.

    If you tell the Marines to secure a building, they will call for an air strike, assault the structure with heavy artillery, ground and small arms fire, capture the facility, fortify and hold the ground at all costs until properly relieved. SEMPER FI.

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    Dear Rick,
    I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
    just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
    you've been gone, and it's not fair on either of us. I'm sorry.
    Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
    Love,
    Becky


    The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
    snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or
    ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Rick included all
    the other pictures of the pretty girls he had collected from his
    buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope.... along with this
    note.


    Dear Becky,
    I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f**k you are. Please
    take your picture from the pile , and send the rest back to me.
    Take care,
    Rick
     
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  4. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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  5. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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    Suicide Bomber Hello Kitty
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  6. Paan Singh

    Paan Singh BANNED

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  7. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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    WHATS WRONG WITH IT

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  8. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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  9. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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  10. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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  11. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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  12. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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  13. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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  14. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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  15. Dr. Strangelove

    Dr. Strangelove SENIOR MEMBER

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