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Stupid and funny from all over the world - II

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H2O3C4Nitrogen

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Dec 3, 2007
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For some years the lawyer had been taking his holidays at the
exclusive hide-away country hotel and carrying on an affair
with the owner’s daughter. However, on returning one year
he discovered his mistress had given birth to twin boys.
“Why on earth didn’t you tell me?” said the astonished
lawyer.
“You know I would have married you and provided for the
birth.”
She replied, “That may be so. But when I told my parents I
was pregnant, we talked over all the options and decided it
was far better to have a couple of bastards in the family than
a lawyer.

The couple had been kissing and hugging on the sofa when
Stan turned to Sal and whispered “How about it Sal, it’s only
a week until we get married, let’s do it now.”
“Oh no Stan” she replied. “We promised we wouldn’t, can’t
you wait another seven days?”
Stan looked at her mournfully. “Okay Sal, but how about if
you just give me a hint of what’s to come. Go on Sal,
unbutton your dress and let me have a quick feel of your
beautiful breasts.”
“Well alright” replied Sal and she did as he asked.
“Oooh Sal, that was wonderful. Will you just do one more
thing for me. Will you let me have a sniff of your fanny?” So
Sal relented, dropped her knickers and let Stan have a quick
sniff.
“Oooh Sal” he said suddenly “are you sure it’ll last another
seven days?”

“There are three different stages of marriage” said Dad to his
son on the boy’s wedding day. “When you’re newlyweds, you
have sex wherever and whenever you want it – the house, the
garden, in the supermarket, all over the place. But then
comes stage 2. After you’ve been married for some time, sex
is usually confined to the bedroom. And then comes stage 3.
Many, many years on in a marriage, the most sex you get is
when you pass each other on the stairs and say ‘**** off!’ ”
 

sur

SENIOR MEMBER
Aug 19, 2009
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If you live in Kyrgyzstan, this is how easy it is to get married to the woman of your choice!!!!!!
So basically man commits "Zana-bil-Jabr" (Rape) the first night & then if girl stays marrital contract happens next day or so ...

"لعنت" on these people ...
 

Leader

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Sep 7, 2010
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Hi,

If anyone remembers the invasion of somalia on cnn----when the u s troops were landing----and the news reporter was saying the invasion is on---the us troops are securing and disarming everyone on the beach----in the background were pakistani U N soldiers with guns and already secured area.

The next time the news was aired---the pakistani sodiers disappeared out of the picture.
that was black hawk down movie. basically the americans called in Pakistani government for help and only commandos went out were Pakistanis, since they were Pakistanis and Muslims the Somalians let the Americans go....

but holla the movie havnt had anything like it...

I dont complain nor blame them, its their version of story, so we should make our own movies and give our version of stories...

has anyone seen Valley of the Wolves Iraq or Valley of the Wolves Palestine ??? didnot we all see how Americans and Israelis cried like Biittcchhes respectively, well that was another case that former cried on the later movie as well !! :laugh:
 

third eye

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Aug 24, 2008
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Equations! - This is the best I have read in a LONG time
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2
Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money
Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey
In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3
Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey
In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend
So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!
So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
 

MastanKhan

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Dec 26, 2005
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that was black hawk down movie. basically the americans called in Pakistani government for help and only commandos went out were Pakistanis, since they were Pakistanis and Muslims the Somalians let the Americans go....

but holla the movie havnt had anything like it...

I dont complain nor blame them, its their version of story, so we should make our own movies and give our version of stories...

has anyone seen Valley of the Wolves Iraq or Valley of the Wolves Palestine ??? didnot we all see how Americans and Israelis cried like Biittcchhes respectively, well that was another case that former cried on the later movie as well !! :laugh:
Hi,

I am not talking about the movie---I am talking about the actual american troops landing on the somali beaches----u s troops started arresting everyone and strip searched them---their plan was to strip search everyone as the troops kept moving on and clear all the weapons----it did not happen that way---then came th black hawk down scenario.
 
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