• Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Joke

Discussion in 'Members Club' started by EagleEyes, Nov 11, 2005.

  1. Officer of Engineers

    Officer of Engineers FULL MEMBER

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    That's a need-to-know. However, let's just say the general comment was "it couldn't happenned to a nicer guy."
     
  2. Spring Onion

    Spring Onion PDF VETERAN

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    :smile: guys i missed the jokes will read later

    herez a desi joke



    Teacher to students: Everyone write the name of ur father in English.

    Santa Singh worte: "Beautiful Red Underwear"


    teacher lashes at him: Santa Singh are u mad whats the name of ur father?

    Santa Singh: Sundar Lal Chadda.
     
  3. Owais

    Owais SENIOR MEMBER

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    lolz!:lol:
     
  4. Jay_

    Jay_ FULL MEMBER

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    Colonel, I hear you, we have similar guys in our work place who deserve something like that :lol:
     
  5. Averroes

    Averroes FULL MEMBER

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    Is that for real? Do they have names like that, and do they mean what the translation is?
     
  6. ab041937

    ab041937 FULL MEMBER

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    Hope my Pakistani friends forgive me for this

    Indian PM ManMohan singh comes out with George Bush for the press conference after a meeting with him.

    Reporter: PM sir, can you brief us about the outcome of the meeting?

    MMS: We have decided to kill 165 million Pakistanis along with the Afghani Bicycleman.

    The response left everyone in the room ghastly appalled and utterly surprised.

    Reporter: PM sir, But why the Afghani Bicycle man?

    MMS turns to George Bush

    MMS: See, I told you!! Nobody bothers about 165 million Pakistanis.
     
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  7. Spring Onion

    Spring Onion PDF VETERAN

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    Yes Sir it is.

    And they have more funnier names than this one.

    We have very funny and strange names here in our tribal areas also.

    i will start a new thread for that and u will see how much unique names people have.
     
  8. Spring Onion

    Spring Onion PDF VETERAN

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    Man: Bhagwan mujhe dard de, Dukh de, tension de, mujhe barbad kar de, mare peechae bhoot laga de.

    Bhagwan: Aby salay aik line main bol na k Bewi (wife) Chahyae :D1
     
  9. melb4aust

    melb4aust SENIOR MEMBER

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    HAHAHA lol:lol: , where did you get that from.
     
  10. master_fx

    master_fx FULL MEMBER

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    plz watch this video
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 5, 2013
  11. Averroes

    Averroes FULL MEMBER

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    HAHA, that was hilarious master fx.

    here's a joke for you.

    old chinese proverb,

    "Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
     
  12. master_fx

    master_fx FULL MEMBER

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    rofl..... ns one
     
  13. melb4aust

    melb4aust SENIOR MEMBER

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    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 5, 2013
  14. TexasJohn

    TexasJohn SENIOR MEMBER

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    I was sent this today:

    How the nuclear crisis in India and Pakistan will play out!!

    During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 5 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.


    This was their scenario.................

    But if there is a nuclear war between India and Pakistan.


    The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India.

    They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.

    Indian technology is highly advanced.

    In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak Countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.

    But they need permission from the Government of India.

    They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime Minister calls an emergency House session. The House meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned and adjourned indefinitely.

    The President asks for a quick decision.

    In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a relaunch are still on.

    Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it.

    The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.

    As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.

    The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile.

    But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.

    A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission.

    The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.

    Ju st then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00 AM.

    Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.


    In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.

    The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.

    The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear m issile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting.

    This time all the parties agree.

    Its three months since the army had sought permission. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision.

    Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos organised.

    In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".

    On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.

    Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.

    A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service.

    Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits its original destination: Russia .

    Russia successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad.

    The missile hits the target and creates havoc.

    Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.

    Thus India never gets to launch the missile.

    Pakistan never gets it right.

    And we live happily ever after!!!!
     
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  15. A.Rahman

    A.Rahman ELITE MEMBER

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    but in real life its not true........ btw you missed "bribes" part in scenario :P
     
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