• Monday, November 18, 2019

Joke

Discussion in 'Members Club' started by EagleEyes, Nov 11, 2005.

  1. A.Rahman

    A.Rahman GUEST

    New Recruit

    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that
    time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

    At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

    He opened the note, and read, "#$###, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  2. A.Rahman

    A.Rahman GUEST

    New Recruit

    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

    Lady 1: What's that?
    Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
    Lady 1: Where did you get it?
    Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

    The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

    The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

    Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

    The pharmacist fainted.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 5
  3. VisionHawk

    VisionHawk SENIOR MEMBER

    Messages:
    1,070
    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Ratings:
    +0 / 102 / -0
    Three PAKISTANIS and three INDIANS are travelling by train to a Cricket
    match at the World Cup, while in England.

    At the station, the 3 INDIANS buy a ticket each and watch as the three PAKISTANIS
    buy just one ticket for them all.

    "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of
    the INDIANS. "Watch and learn," answers one of the PAKISTANI.

    They all board the train. The INDIANS take their
    respective seats but all three PAKISTANIS cram into a toilet and close the
    door behind them.

    Shortly after the train departs, the ticket checker
    comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the
    toilet door and says," Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a
    single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The ticket checker takes it and
    moves on. The INDIANS see this and agree that it was quite a clever idea.

    So after the game, they decide to copy the pakistani style on the return
    trip and save some money. When
    they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return trip.
    To their astonishment, the
    PAKISTANIS don't buy tickets at all !!!

    How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says
    one perplexed INDIANS. "Watch and learn," answers a PAKISTANI. When they
    board the train the three INDIANS cram into one toilet and soon
    after the three PAKISTANIS cram into another nearby toilet. The train
    departs.

    Shortly afterwards, one of the pakistani leaves the
    toilet and walks over to the toilet where the INDIANS are hiding. He knocks
    on the door and says, "Ticket please."
    The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
    The PAKISTANI takes the ticket and goes back into his toilet.... :laugh:
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 4
  4. melb4aust

    melb4aust SENIOR MEMBER

    Messages:
    1,624
    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2005
    Ratings:
    +0 / 227 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Canada
    HAHAAHAHA :lol: LOL :laugh: Unbeleavable man!!! Thats realy funny indeed.... :laugh:
     
  5. Tariq Iqbal

    Tariq Iqbal FULL MEMBER

    New Recruit

    Messages:
    25
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Ratings:
    +0 / 1 / -0
    Funny! Thanks for a laugh.. :lol:
     
  6. Bull

    Bull ELITE MEMBER

    Messages:
    6,850
    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2006
    Ratings:
    +0 / 274 / -0
    :banana2: too good
     
  7. VisionHawk

    VisionHawk SENIOR MEMBER

    Messages:
    1,070
    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Ratings:
    +0 / 102 / -0
    Thanks guys for loving it do you guys have some more good jokes to share with us :)
     
  8. sword9

    sword9 PROFESSIONAL

    Messages:
    586
    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2006
    Ratings:
    +0 / 22 / -0
    Musharraf comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Musharraf: "Well Parvez, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant." "How do you know?" asks Musharraf "Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second".

    He calls Advani over and asks him "Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "it is me!" "Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Musharraf is very impressed. He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet.
    He calls in his favourite member of cabinet and asks: "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister? " He thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit further Sir? May I let you know tomorrow? ". "Of course", says Musharraf, "You've got 24 hours."

    He goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his Cabinet Secretary, Chief Secretaries and Joint Secretaries, but no-one knows the answer.Twenty hours later, the member of Musharraf's cabinet is very worried-still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually he says to himself: "I'll ask Bill Clinton, he's clever, he'll know the answer." He calls Clinton. "Mr.President", he says, "Tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Very simple", says Clinton, "It's me!"

    "Wonderful!" says the Cabinet member and hangs up. Jumping with joy realizing that he knows the answer, he rings Musharraf. "Sir, I've got the answer!".

    "What is it?"

    "It's Bill Clinton".

    "No, you idiot", says Musharraf, "It's Advani".
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 13
  9. A.Rahman

    A.Rahman ELITE MEMBER

    Messages:
    4,724
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2006
    Ratings:
    +0 / 465 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Canada
    lol... Good one... I think you switched the names around, but still good
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  10. sword9

    sword9 PROFESSIONAL

    Messages:
    586
    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2006
    Ratings:
    +0 / 22 / -0
    If that was insulting then lets be careful about what we post (refer to the opening post of this thread).
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  11. Spring Onion

    Spring Onion PDF VETERAN

    Messages:
    41,387
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2006
    Ratings:
    +17 / 35,137 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Pakistan
    its a very old joke and certainly not the way u had described it.
    with touch of ur ----------------- towards us
    its a pitty
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  12. melb4aust

    melb4aust SENIOR MEMBER

    Messages:
    1,624
    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2005
    Ratings:
    +0 / 227 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Canada
    We gotta have to be fair with others, but joke is a joke!!!!!!
     
  13. EagleEyes

    EagleEyes PDF THINK TANK: CONSULTANT

    Messages:
    16,778
    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2005
    Ratings:
    +25 / 15,613 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    United States
    Chill guys.. joke is a joke thats what it is meant to be.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  14. Spring Onion

    Spring Onion PDF VETERAN

    Messages:
    41,387
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2006
    Ratings:
    +17 / 35,137 / -0
    Country:
    Pakistan
    Location:
    Pakistan

    ok if its like that thn chang it otherway round.
    And let me post some rocking one here if those realy burnt someone thn dont blam me
     
  15. sword9

    sword9 PROFESSIONAL

    Messages:
    586
    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2006
    Ratings:
    +0 / 22 / -0
    If your idea is to insult us here then don't post. I get my share of insults from my in-laws. :?:
     
Similar Threads
  1. fatman17
    Replies:
    3
    Views:
    1,521
  2. Asady
    Replies:
    2
    Views:
    868
  3. SuvarnaTeja
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    214
Loading...