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If cricketers were politicians

su-47

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Interesting article i saw The Index: Cricketers as politicians | Page 2 | Cricinfo.com

The year is 2035. Over the last 25 years several international cricketers have shaped the world by taking up affairs of government. Starting with Sanath Jayasuriya's political debut in 2010, these are their stories.

Sanath Jayasuriya
Despite worries that Jayasuriya would have trouble defeating Arjuna Ranatunga, who was his rival in the 2010 election, Jayasuriya's disdain for anything short and wide helped him campaign to an overwhelming victory over his former team-mate and captain. Jayasuriya's popularity saw him fast-tracked to the presidency, a post he revolutionised, employing extremely aggressive economic and social policies in the first 15 months to get his administration off to a flyer. Taxes were cut ruthlessly, with immense power, while government spending was also slashed away at an alarming rate. Jayasuriya even energised Sri Lanka's languishing economy by doing away with land transport and making helicopters the primary mode of transport: a policy that stemmed from his natural preference for going aerial.

Shane Warne
Much was expected of the great legspinner when he became Australia's minister of finance in 2020 on the back of his natural affinity for commercial ventures. Despite public annoyance at MPs Adam Gilchrist and Ian Healy, who repeatedly bleated "Nice one Shaayne" from the back bench whenever Warne did something remotely praiseworthy, Warne was a popular choice. However, his stint at the top level was ultimately far more entertaining than effective. While he led the nation to a period of incredible prosperity early in his term, the decision to gamble Australia's entire annual GDP on a poker match proved to be a wrong'un. Warne lost billions, sending the country spiralling into a recession that was only slightly mitigated by the booming diuretic drug industry, which had taken off after his appointment to cabinet. Mobile phone companies also did well during Warne's spell, as his unrestricted access to Australia's phone directory resulted in millions of citizens receiving random text messages on a regular basis, many of them simply reading, "What are you wearing?"

Jesse Ryder
Although he did not command as much respect from the denizens of New Zealand as the country's previous prime minister, Gandalf the Grey, Ryder was quick to make his own mark on the nation's history, lowering the drinking age to 12. Despite the many detractors who criticised Ryder's bombastic nature, his swashbuckling style and aggressive tactics saw the country do well for a while, even if he looked slightly worse for wear at most morning engagements. Window salesmen, hand surgeons and therapists prospered while Ryder was in office, with many young New Zealanders taking to Ryder's truly unique style of celebration. However, his exit from the political arena proved less than graceful, when in a rage he ordered several small New Zealand towns aerially bombed after he was eventually voted out.

Rahul Dravid
Despite showing immense talent as a policy-maker and adviser, Dravid's lack of natural charisma hindered his chances of becoming prime minister of India. However, he was extremely adept at occupying political office for extremely long periods of time, as he proved with a decades-long stranglehold on his position as India's foreign minister. Dravid provided much-needed stability to the country, allowing other politicians to take risks and conduct business freely around him. He earned himself the nickname "The Wall" for his stoic, unyielding nature when it came to trade talks and general diplomacy. He was especially effective at handling hostile negotiations, often facing down spirited overseas foreign ministers in 13-hour debating marathons, in which many of them slipped into irreversible comas.

Ricky Ponting
Ponting was able to capitalise on his initial forward movement as prime minister of Australia and led the nation relatively well during his time in office. He was considered fairly lucky, having inherited a cabinet full of political superstars from the previous incumbent, and this led to a period of immense prosperity for Australia during Ponting's first term. Any ministerial ****-ups were dealt with harshly by Ponting, whose preferred method of punishment for delinquent MPs would be to place hands on hips and stare irately at the culprit for what seemed like hours, right in the middle of a parliamentary session. Ponting was understandably not a favourite of foreign leaders, partly because they questioned the ethics of his incredibly intimidating politics, but primarily because they did not like shaking hands with a man who had spent the better part of their meetings spitting profusely into his palms.
 

su-47

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Apr 4, 2007
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And here are some interesting comments from readers

Posted by Goju
Sourav Ganguly Reaching the top through controversial means, Sourav Ganguly proved to be an adept Prime Minister. Alongside the greatest Finance Minister in Earth's history, Ganguly's term began with prolific GDP growth becoming the most successful ever ministerial partnership. However, as age crept in and with it senility, Ganguly refused to let go of what he now believed to be his right. Declaring a state of emergency, Ganguly continued to rule the country for the next 10 years jailing all those who stood against him. Apart from brief glimpses of his old genius, Ganguly led India to become the first market to un-emerge - coining a new financial term for the future.


Posted by athabasca
Andrew flintoff Through his sheer big presence got into the british government as a home and security minister incharge of the defence forces.sleeps for10 mths a year,for 2mths,cmes out,goes to australia,participates in a mock war drill between two countries ,gets 1 mock kill accompanied by 1 mth worth of appreciation by press,200 bottles of beer,1.2million dollars worth of a defence contract in another country,then goes to sleep again.


Posted by rohitkossery
Afridi: After a coup of the Pakistani parliament, Afridi emerged the leader of the leader. But his foreign policy was as bad as his predecessors' resulting in huge financial losses for Pakistan in Australia. In a fit of desperation, he tried to eat an important document to try avert financial disaster. When confronted, he dismissed it as an attempt 'to smell the fine print'.

Dhoni: With an aptitude to be subtle or aggressive, he quickly rose to the position of Indian Prime Minister. India's GDP rose quickly, but save for a few stalwarts, most old people were disposed off quickly 'for the good of the nation'. Hair salons were deemed unnecessary and closed down.

Yuvraj: Due to his ability to cut away and pull down opposition, became defence minister. Though capable of winning any war on his day, he was also subject to stupidly falling for enemy ambushes. Famously defeated the English with 6 nukes in 6 minutes.



PS: One of these comments is mine ;)
 

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